The Sword of Laban and Other Poems

The Sword of Laban

It's sharp and shiny
It's big and heavy
and the workmanship
thereof is exceedingly fine.
It's long and ready
It's cool and steady-
Oh man I want the sword of Laban.

The Snoopy Preacher's Sermon

You! You there!
You're a sinner!
You've grievously sinned and sinned some more and I bet you like to sin, don't you?!
I saw you sin!
Yeah, yeah, I saw you do it!
I saw you sinning and I caught you doing it!
Thus ends my sermon, you filthy sinner!

Punctuation- Gone Awry!

Brackets Periods Question and Exclamation
Marks Dashes Semi-Colons
Colons ExtraColons Confused Marks Underlinings Dots
Semi-Slash Smiley Face Frowny Face Spot
Spot Spot Spot Spot Spot Spot Spot Glyph-
Spot Glyph-Spot Glyph-Spot Glyph-Attack

Rocks Painted and Unpainted

Three rocks were painted,
But four rocks were plain.
Three flowers grew mightily,
But four flowers had no life.
I observed them all and grew to love seven more rocks and seven more flowers.

Hollywood, Between Comments about Hollywood.

Most of the stuff Hollywood makes is trash anyway.
Hollywood.
Kids nowadays think however Hollywood says life oughta be, that’s the way life oughta be, but that isn’t right.

Snapping Branch, Hiding Spider

Ouch that branch snapped!
Where’d that spider go?

Scrambled Eggs or Fried: An Experiment with the Doctrine of Predestination

What would you like today, self?
Some cereal, fruit, or pancakes?

101 Fantastically Wacky Things You Can Do With String!!!

1) Tie 100 knots.
2) Tie one more.

Sporty Sport of Sport

Sport this sport, junior!
Catch and throw now jab-
Sporty summersault, you sport!
Summersault summersault sporty
Sporty now switch it up now yes sport
Sportatious- Sportatious- Sportalicious!
Now hit it all up like a sportsman, junior
Baseball basketball football now yes sport
Sport sport sport sport junior! junior! junior!

Sprinkle-Rain

Rainy-rainy rain rain
sprinkaling sprinkaling sprinkaling all about
tapping on the ground
tapping on the dirt
tapping on my umbrella.
Thin rain thin rain
really really thin rain
misty almost
yes misty almost
mistaling mistaling mistaling, all about
misting on the groundmisting on the dirtmisting on my umbrella.

One Afternoon Lot Was in Sodom, and His Righteous Reflections, In Poetic Form, Were Thus:

Thin rain is misty.
It mists up the air,
Comes down on my hair,
within without witheverywhere
thin rain is prevalent.
It fills up the space
and moistens my face
within without witheveryplace.
Thin rain is sin.

Sure, Somebody Else May Have Written it, But I Have Applied an Essence of Poetry To It

This pack is

part

of a multi-pack

and is not labeled for individual retail sale.

Party Doors

There are two doors to this house.
One big, one small.
What are they for?
They are for a double party entrance when you are playing a monster double-guitar,
Chavez!
And the guitar is electric, Chavez, the guitar is electric!