Poems by Me, From a While Back

I have a notebook with a lot of my old poems in it. If I lost the notebook, all those poems would be gone. In an attempt to preserve some of my poems, I decided to type them into my blog, Telemoonfa Time. So, here are some more of my poems for my posterity's sake. On second thought, these poems are for anybody.

Mind the Boys You Date, Kathy; They Better Not Be Quackos: A Motherly Lecture for Dating Couples on Manipulation, in the Form of a Letter From a Man to His Honey, Which He Has Entitled To My Love, Who Hates Feeding Ducks.

My love, I love you.
I love you so much,
and I’m certain that I love you.
My love for you surpasses boundaries,
and I know that it surpasses boundaries.
My love for you engulfs me,
and I know that it engulfs me.
I’m 100% absolutely totally completely sure
that I love you, my love.
My certainty measuring instrument has maxxed out, my love, it cannot possibly physically proceed to the next notch of advancement, because there is no next notch of advancement; I’ve reached the last notch on my certainty measuring instrument!
That’s how sure I am, you hear me?! That’s how sure I am!

Now lets go feed ducks, or I’ll call the cops on you for that thing you did the other day.


1 Samuel 16:7

My sister says I’m ugly.
She says I’m stupid too,
But we will see on Judgment Day
What Jesus Christ will do.


TGIF

My body is a temple,
So I will treat it right.
All the time I will be chaste
(Except for Friday night).


The Solemn Responsibilities of Motherhood

My mother made me jeans.
It took her a few hours,
While I was outside playing
Among the purple flowers.


Excellent Poetry Dude!

Robert Frost was inspired when he wrote about taking the road less traveled by.
I wasn’t when I wrote this.


Life’s Really Really Really Important Choices

I’m writing with ink
that I found in the sink;
It was black and thick and heavy.
Black as a… uh,
Thick like a… uh,
Heavier than a… uh,
Maybe I should just write in pencil.


The Coach's Midlife Crisis

Jimmy bounce your basketball
Bounce it good for me
Show your father right away
How good your skills can be
He’s paid for you to practice here
He’s paid for you to learn
So I suggest you show the goods
Or frankly, kid, you’ll burn!
I’ll throw you on a pile of sticks
I’ll add some gasoline
I’ll do it yeah yeah I’ll do it don’t make me do it try me try me just see just see see if I’ll do it come on I dare you try it don’t bounce it don’t bounce it at all see what happens, Jimmy, see what happens.


What Tiffany Says When She’s Not Thinking about Starvation in Ethiopia

"I do wish they would make a pink M&M with a blue stripe around the middle.
I’m simply exhausted from eating plain ones everyday.”


Second Pillow Lying on Blue, Number Seventeen

Pillow, Pillow,
Soft and white
Pillow Pillow,
Start a fight
Pillow, Pillow,
Feathers fly
Pillow, Pillow,
Mix with the sky


Weapons in Times of Peace

This guy I met once had a big sword.
Boy it was big.

If I had one, I’d stand in front of the mirror and hold it up, act like a ninja or a samurai, and look in the mirror at the reflection of me holding my sword up.

Then I’d put it in the closet.


On the Remains of an Automobile

Rusty pale blue Oldsmobile-
Defunct and debunked.
No tires, no engine, no vitality-
Titled, jilted, stilted, wilted,
Something murdered it, so now it’s killted.


Sprinkler Spray

Water water wat
Like sprinkle sprinkle sprink
Drenchy drenchy drench drench
Misty misty mist mist wet wet wet

Dropple dropple drop
Like rainy rainy rain
Funny funny fun fun
Saturated saturated soaked soaked soaked


A Botanist’s Love Poem

You are like a flower, my love,
A beautiful flower that smells nice.

I love your petals and
I love your stem and
I even love the soil you are planted in.

I love your calyx, made with a number of sepals that protect your flower bud before blooming.
I love your terminal branch consisting of a modified stem, the floral axis with its one to four types of specialized appendages, or modified leaves usually arranged in circles.

Plus your pistil and stamen are pretty.


Yip Yip Sparkly Unicorn

One day I found
a unicorn on a pink
path of sparkles. The unicorn
twirled and gave me an ice cream
cone with sprinkles on it!
I adjusted my fuzzy red
hat and said,
“Thanks buddy!”


Faith

Think of what we seal in envelopes,
Invitations, birthday cards, love letters,
And send through the mail,
handled by postal workers, organized and shipped.
Hoping all arrives safely.

Think of what we pray,
Thanksgivings, confessions, pleadings,
And send through the atmosphere,
Handled by angels, lifted and delivered.
Hoping all arrives safely.


Sitting beside a good friend,

I notice what he wears-
Jeans, polo shirt, a gray sweater.

Then I see his watch-
Steel, mechanical, tightly attached to his wrist.

The watch is not a leash;
It is the rod in the outstretched hand of Moses.