Here are some more poems from my old notebook. Enjoy.

Upon the Absence of My Girlfriend

She went yesterday to gather flowers
I stayed here to name the animals
She is on top of the hill
I am beside the stream

Soon she will return
She will tell me of tulips and periwinkles
I will tell her of sparrows and turtles


Pilgrimage

I walked through rocks just to get to this place,
pulled back weeds, talked to myself, slept cold.
I killed animals, too.

The stream will not tell me her secrets.
I put my stomach to the ground and clench dirt.


How I’ll Get Into Northern Arizona University

I’ll march up to the admissions office,
kick in the door and yell,
“Hey I’m smart! Hey I’m talented!
Hey I’m a fun guy to have around!
Look at me smile!”

Then the old-lady-receptionist will rise,
shake pom-poms and sing the school’s
alma mater: “Oh lumberjack, dear lumberjack…”
while highly trained chimpanzees give me
my class schedule, a campus map, my
dorm key, a shining and glowing everlasting
meal ticket, and 57 grand.

I will then say to the monkeys,
“You are to me like angels,
my little chimpanzee friends.”


Hooler Stooler Quiffer Yiff

Mom said do my homework
Mom said put on makeup
Mom said eat the vegetables
But that stuff makes me say,

"I don’t need to do my homework because in my pocket I have gum!
I don’t need to put on makeup because in the closet there are bricks!
I don’t need to eat the vegetables because in the backyard is my dog!"

And this stuff makes me yell,

My gum and my bricks and my dog, crash!
My gum and my bricks and my dog, yeah!
My gum and my bricks and my dog, crash!

I will not go to the dentist!
I will not go to the store!
I will not go to the store because I don’t want to smell the cantaloupes and wave at people and add three dollars and fifty-two cents and one dollar and thirty-nine cents together! And I don’t want to give the nice man the money so he can give me the things and then we can go home and then we can use the things! I will not even use the things anyway!

You know what I say about this?

My gum and my bricks and my dog, crash!
My gum and my bricks and my dog, yeah!
My gum and my bricks and my dog, crash!


Upon Snacking

Hmmmm… this taste doth not taste like it tasted before
Wherefore?
Did my teeth, throat, tongue, or cheek change,
Or did the taste of the taste change?

What is reality?
Taste then or taste now?
Methinks clocks distinguish neither time from time nor taste from taste,
Nevertheless howsoever I distinguish time from time,
And you do it too.

What- brains contradicting reality? Forsooth!

For do we not shackle lunatics
Set clocks and
Keep dinner appointments?

Therefore returning to this new taste,
I will not call it new;
I will taste the new taste gladly
And I will privately persistently silently taste new tastes.


Alawhutiest-Woo Really Isn’t That Woo

Swiffer liffer quiffer sap
Yiffer quiff
Click expression click mad click click click click
Swiff-loooooo. Swiff-loooooo.
Feelings of stupnoscity youpern swiff dun alawhut.

But yiff and luuuuhh and impusible
Makes it all swidersnappen and hapnacious,
Warming hearts and millaqwulming snoopens.


In Defense of Personal Pronouns

There are pronouns aplenty
like ‘they’ and ‘we’ and ‘she,’
but the only ones that I prefer
are ‘I’ and ‘my’ and ‘me’

Walt Whitman said, “Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself.”
E. E. Cummings said, “Since Feeling is First”
I said, “Me me I my myself Telemoonfa”
My wimper is correct-
My haloo is correct-
My fit of madness is rational.
I see subjectively,
I hear subjectively,
and Subjectivity is my reward.
For examples,
I was walking down my street when I heard a car alarm honking.
I was annoyed.
I was sitting in my house when I saw my favorite television program.
I was pleased.
And who does otherwise?
Who among you feigns objectivity?
On guard, you backbiter, you charlatan, you hater of your own flesh-
Debunk my skin-
Refute my tongue-
Argue with my nose if you feel so daring.
Come on you politician, you media spokesperson, you professor of popular opinion,
Come at me and I will scream at you:
Me me I my myself Telemoonfa!
Me me I my myself Telemoonfa!
Me me I my myself Telemoonfa!


Pencils Just Fall, and That is All

As I heard my teacher talking,
I dropped my pencil, accidentally,
I picked it up, and
put it back on my desk.
It fell again.
I picked it up again.
Semesters passed. I graduated.


My Fork is Useful

It scoots, pokes, divides, prods, sticks, stabs, and impales
my food.
my food, which, to fit my mouth, must change.

Let us take an egg.
To eat pleasurably, I remove the shell with
a quick smack on the countertop edge.
I pour her innards on the oily hot skillet
and grin as the embryo fries.

Think of me not as bestial.
You eat, and
you own forks.


Lines On My Very Private Infinite Moroseness Within My Own Introspective Depressing Musings

Blinking, yes, even ordinary blinking,
Reminds me of closing my eyes slowly-
down and unfortunately up.

Slowly closing my eyes reminds me of
leaving them shut longer, nightly.

Sleeping reminds me of death.

I blink profusely, you happy idiot.


The Thirteenth President of the United States of America

Zachary Taylor snuck into my dream,
crouched in the corner,
and commenced the recitation of the Declaration of Independence
“We, the Americans, in order to spread some common good and we want public tranquilizers, too, do hereby publish this Manifestation of Independence for America and say to King George the Second: stop it.”

Zachary Taylor then approached me with candy.
I ate the candy.
Much munch munch.

“I like this dream,” I think,
“It’s about history!”