Even Still Even More Love Advice!

Dear Readers,

Here are some more emails from the romantically afflicted, along with my Cupid-like balm.

Dear Telemoonfa,

Great news! I just found the perfect guy! He's 5' 9'', muscular, charming, and he plays the didgeridoo. I mean really! The didgeridoo! How hunky is that? (OK I don’t even know what a didgy-thing is, but it seriously sounds so awesome!) The only problem is, he's Australian, and he lives all the way in, you guessed it, Australia. I live in Texas. I only know him from the Internet. But we’ve seriously connected! Should I take a trip to the Great Down Under, or should I try to satisfy myself by lassoing a cowboy from this here Texan prairie? See, I don’t want to live in Australia so he better be willing to move here once we get married, but he won’t even come visit me. He says he can’t get time off from his work at a rehabilitation center for wounded koala bears. Like I think I’m in love with this guy! He’ll probably be a lot like Mel Gibson when I meet him in real life. What do I do? I’m torn up inside!!!

Seeking,
A Cowgirl Looking Longingly for Love

Dear Cowgirl,

Listen Cowgirl, let me tell you something about Australians that you won’t hear on the Internet (except for right now). They don’t have cars. They ride kangaroos everywhere. Now if you think you can be happy hop-hop-hopping on a kangaroo all the time, go ahead and move to Australia. Be my guest. But if you think you’d go crazy after a week of storing your purse in a slimy kangaroo pouch while you straddle a kangaroo’s back, then you might want to reconsider your trip to the Great Brown Blunder. Did you know that Australia started as a penal colony for the British Empire? Yeah, it did! It’s very possible that this guy got kicked out of Britain for lying too much, and stealing, and it seems to me that he hasn’t stopped lying. He may indeed be 5’9,” but he most assuredly doesn’t play any didgy-thing. What did you call it? A didgereedoo? Listen sweetheart, there’s no such thing as a didgeredoo. He just made up a foreign sounding word to try to impress you. Next he’ll probably tell you he’s going to cook you a dish of crème brulee. Ha! I suggest you cut off all communication with the Australian. You’re a Texan, honey. Stick to your own kind.

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa


Dear Telemoonfa,

What is meant by homogamy? How are homogamous norms related to endogamy and exogamy? Discuss in three well-developed paragraphs.

Sincerely,
Cody

Dear Cody,

These are profound questions brilliant thinkers have pondered for the ages. Have you ever thought about watching a butterfly flap her wings, flowers swaying in the breeze, and letting that silent, reverent observation being your answer? Let’s hum together. Hummmmmmmmmmmm… hummmmmmmmmmmm… hummmmmmmmmmm… I’m not avoiding the question because I don’t know what homogamy means. But then again, I’m not avoiding the question because I don’t NOT know what homogamy means, either. Does that make sense? OK, actually I don’t know what it means, but the word depresses me. The words “endogamy” and “exogamy” depress me even more. I don’t want to do your sociology homework for you.

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa