Classroom Procedures

Dear Readers,

When I was a teacher for a year, I had to come up with all these procedures, and I had to write them down and give them to my first year teacher trainer. Having precise procedures like this is based on "The First Days of School" by Harry Wong.

I read them now with mixed reactions.

I laugh when I read them because I know that by the end of the school year, all these procedures were broken and mocked. (It's my fault they were broken and mocked, mostly, I think.)

I sadden when I read them because they remind me of all the stupid stuff I had to deal with as a teacher. I wanted to teach great literature. I wanted to live the life of an artistic scholar. I wanted to have a good time. I didn't want to enforce rules about how to appropriately retrieve tissue from the teacher's desk.

I wrinkle my forehead when I read them. They're good procedures. I don't see what's wrong with them. They look so great on paper. I wonder why they didn't work. Well, they didn't work because I didn't really care about them enough to really enforce them. My personality was wrong for the job. I couldn't fake a good teaching personality. Not for very long, anyway. Just like I couldn't sustain a fake personality while I was a door-to-door alarm-system salesman, I couldn't fake being a teacher. Well-intentioned people used to say to me, "You're an actor. Why don't you just act like a good teacher?"

"Great idea," I should have responded, "then after I'm done acting like a good teacher, I'll act like a good helicopter pilot." Ha ha ha. If only it were so easy. Playing a part in a play is almost nothing like changing your personality to become a successful teacher. Maintaining a double personality is difficult, and maybe deceitful. I realize that some people have to put on fake attitudes at work- the cashiers that are fake polite, etc., but I was never good at that, and I'm glad that I have a job now where I don't have to put on a fake attitude.

Maybe it's unhealthy the way I look back at my failed teaching career. When I reflect on it, I feel ashamed of myself and the horrible job I did. But then I think I need to forgive myself and hope that others will forgive me.

I get reminded of my teaching stint a lot. I get reminded of it when school buses go by, when I teach Primary at Church, when I drive by the school, when someone talks about school in any way, and when I see people I used to work with. And when someone asks me what I do for a living, I say, "I make movie screens in a factory," and then I usually add, "but I used to be an English and drama teacher," to give people the impression that, once upon a time, I had ambition and drive and talent and education. In some ways I'd like to move away to a new town, a town where nobody knew that I used to be a teacher.

Anyway, here's those classroom procedures I wrote about a year and a half ago:

Procedure for coming into class. Students will silently come into the room, get out paper and pen/pencil, and start on the Bellwork. Rehearse the procedure three times. We will go outside into the pod, enter the classroom silently, go directly to their assigned seat, and start on the Bellwork. The students will have assigned seats the first day.

Procedure for going to the restroom/ drinking fountain: Raise your hand and wait for Mr. Bird to come over and sign your character card.

Procedure for passing in papers: pass them to the left. I will collect them.

Procedure for answering teacher’s questions and participating in class discussions: listen respectfully and thoughtfully to whoever is talking. Stay on topic. Raise your hand silently and wait to be called on. (I plan to have mostly bookwork -meaningful, drama-related bookwork- for the first two weeks- no improvisation games or getting up in front of the class. Later, I will introduce procedures for students getting up in front of the class to perform, whether it’s individually or in groups.)

Procedure for getting the class’ attention: the same rhythmic clapping I did this semester, except this time I’ll rehearse the procedure a thousand times during the first two weeks, so that everyone participates, and so that it actually works. :)

Procedure if the phone rings: I’ll get it. I hear it ring.

Procedure if someone knocks at the door: I’ll get it. I hear the knocking.

Procedure for sharpening pencils: Please avoid this, because sharpening pencils is distracting to your classmates. Come to class prepared with two writing utensils ready to go. However, if you need to sharpen your pencil, raise your hand, wait to be called on or for me to come over to you, and ask for permission.

Procedure for getting a tissue. Raise your hand, wait to be called on or for me to come over to you, and ask for permission.

Procedure for throwing things away: You don’t need to throw anything away. Keep your trash with you until the end of the period.

Procedure for coming back after being absent: Before or after class, ask Mr. Telemoonfa or another student about what we did the previous day and if there is any work that needs to be made up. Check the “absent” folder on your way into class. It is your responsibility to find out what you missed.

Procedure for being done with work early. If you find yourself with no other drama work to do, then you should be silently doing homework for another class or reading a book.

Procedure for using the compliment box: For each period, I will have a shoe box with a slot in the top that is labeled “Compliment Box.” During the week, students can write anonymous compliments to each other on little slips of paper and put it in the box before or after class, not during class time. Then on Fridays, I will read all the compliments to the class. The first time around, I will go “fishing for compliments” where students will write two different people compliments and put them in the box. Students shalt not look in the holy compliment box, EVER!!!

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa