I'm excited about the election in South Carolina today

Dear Readers,

The title of this blog post is ambiguous. It could mean that the election is today, or it could mean that I'm excited today about the election in South Carolina, which is taking place this Saturday.

OK, blah blah blah. I'm pretty much addicted to the Presidential primary election going on, so, um, you've probably already heard, but everything is so exciting!!!

Just read all the exciting stuff!!!

Marianne Gingrich unloads explosives at Gingrich campaign headquarters (metaphorically) ! The angry ex claims Newt advocated for monogamous marriage publicly while requesting an open marriage privately! And she told him, "Open marriage? Consider our marriage closed!"

Recount in the Hawkeye Cauci! First they said Mitt won it, now they say Santorum won it! Oh, those Iowans and their antiquated manner of election! Would it kill those corn farmers to start using computers?!

Perry peters out, says, "Go for Gingrich."

Sarah Palin puts the pain on Romney, going for everyone's favorite adulterer, Speaker Newt Gingrich! Endorsement? Not quite. Recommendation? You're right! Is this recommendation Palin's paltry attempt at protecting her anti-establishment brand? You betcha!

James Dobson places his endorsement upon the perfectly brunette head of Rick Santorum. Never heard of Dobson? He's a big deal to Carolinians of the Southern persuasion, but can this family focuser round up enough of the voting herd to turn this election into Santorum's big day on the ranch?

Occupy People and Occupy People-sympathizers (who typically lack real occupations) pressure Romney to release his tax records. Covetous foam bursts forth from their Marxist mouths! Romney presidentialy responds: "I'll probably release my tax records in April, my fellow Americans."

Meanwhile, Romney enjoys the endorsement of the South Carolina Governor, Nikki Haley, and goes into Saturday's heated contest ahead in the polls. If he comes out the way he went in (that is, ahead) will the primary election be dead? If so, we'd like to know, is General Romney ready to roll into the general election, where Obama's barrage of political goons, thugs, bugs, journalists, crooks, cyborgs and shape-shifters lie in wait to deceive?

Will Mitt Romney win it all? Oh, the suspense!!! Oh the gravity of it all! I MUST BREAK OUT INTO POEM!!!

Oh America, America,
may Mitt Romney and his clones
forever be seated upon thine alabaster thrones!
Oh America, America,
may thine elections be legit,
may ACORN be irreparably split,
may McCain-Feingold be repealed,
may the border be sealed,
this is what I pray for thee,
my ultra-awesome country!

May we Republican patriots ensure
that Mitt Romney is the victor
of not just the primary, but of the election general,
and may we joyfully attend the funeral,
which will be a celebrated burying of
(I write figuratively. Don't e-mail flag@whitehouse.gov)
the Wretched Obama Administration
which hath wrought havoc upon our nation.

Hark, my lads! Open thine ears to my poetic verse,
for 'tis they that will lift this liberal curse
from our beloved 50 states united.
To Romney may you be guided!
What is the fix for our broken economy?
The election of our friend, the Governor - soon President - Mitt Romney!


Mitt Romney 2012!

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa