STRANGERS

Telemoonfa's Note: This version was updated on June 25th, 2009. This is the version that was produced as a staged reading at a community theatre in Flagstaff. It will also be published in Thin Air Magazine, the literary magazine of Northern Arizona University, which should come out this fall.

A young American couple’s apartment. Mormon paraphernalia lightly decorates the home. EMMA and HYRUM play Scrabble.

EMMA closes a laptop computer while HYRUM puts down a word and adds up points.

HYRUM: Emma, why’d you turn the computer off?

EMMA: I don’t know, Hyrum. I just get tired of it being on all the time. Why, did you want to use it for something?

HYRUM: No.

EMMA: Do you have homework tonight that you have to do on the computer?

HYRUM: No. I’m actually all caught up on school for once. Oh wait, no, I think I do have some homework to finish.

EMMA: Anatomy?

HYRUM: No, math. But it can wait at least a day or two. It doesn’t really matter. It’s just that we usually leave the computer on. Remember that it takes more electricity-

EMMA: More electricity to turn it off and on all the time than it does to leave it on. Yes I know. You say that every time I turn the computer off.

HYRUM: Well I say it a lot because it’s true. I pay for the electricity. What do you think I work at the bank for, on top of going to night school?

EMMA: Thank you for providing.

HYRUM: I’m just looking out for our finances, that’s all. And the electricity bill keeps going up every month. I just got the electric bill in the mail today, actually. You know how much it is?

EMMA: No I sure don’t.

HYRUM: It’s one hundred and two dollars and seventy two cents. That’s about twenty dollars more than it was last month. But we don’t have to talk about money. I know you don’t like talking about money. It’s your turn.

EMMA: I know.

HYRUM: You’re taking a while for your turn, sweetheart.

EMMA: Don’t pressure me.

HYRUM: So are you going to hurry it up a bit?

EMMA: I can take as long as I want.

HYRUM: Well yeah, but remember we agreed that the game is more fun if we go faster? Do you want me to go get the chess clock again?

EMMA: No. You know I hate the chess clock. That thing stresses me out. Just hold on. There. L-O-V-E. Love. Isn’t that a nice word? Love.

HYRUM: It’s a nice word, but it’s only seven points. And here’s my word. Women. One two three four five six seven eight nine ten, and a double word score makes twenty points.

EMMA: Good job.

HYRUM: Thanks.

EMMA: I see it’s plural.

HYRUM: Huh?

EMMA: Your word is plural. It’s “women”, plural, and not “woman”, singular.

HYRUM: So?

EMMA: Why couldn’t you have put down a singular woman? Why did your word have to be women?

HYRUM: I had a lot of E’s. Why does it matter?

EMMA: I don’t know.

HYRUM: It’s your turn.

EMMA: I know.

HYRUM: You’re in a bad mood.

EMMA: Thanks for noticing.

HYRUM: What’s wrong?

EMMA: Nothing.

HYRUM: Yes, something’s wrong. I can tell. Can you please tell me what it is, sweetheart? Please, just tell me. Look, either tell me what’s bothering you or put down a word. If you don’t tell me you’re just going to be mad all night, and then we’ll stop talking and then we’ll go to bed, and then-

EMMA: No, I’ll go to bed and you’ll stay up.

HYRUM: What?

EMMA: I’ll go to bed and you’ll stay up.

HYRUM: Well that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if I go to bed first or if you go to bed first. If you don’t tell me what’s wrong with you, why you’re in this “woe-is-me, life-is-so-miserable” mood, then tomorrow we’ll tiptoe around each other all quiet, and then, and then, I don’t know what will happen. But you might as well tell me what your problem is if you have a problem, and if you don’t have a problem, then just put a word down so we can finish the game. By the way, I’m probably going to beat you.

EMMA: I bet you know what’s wrong with me. Let me spell it out for you. (as she puts down letters) O B E S E. Obese.

HYRUM: You got seven points this time too. So, are you trying to say that your problem is a self-image thing again?

EMMA: Yep. I feel fat.

HYRUM: Baby, Emma, I already told you that you’re not fat, sweetheart. You’re not fat. You’re pregnant. Everybody knows women gain weight when they’re pregnant. It’s natural.

EMMA: Well nobody knows I’m pregnant yet. They just think I’m chubby.

HYRUM: No they don’t.

EMMA: Yes they do. They think I’m plump.

HYRUM: You’re a very beautiful woman. I mean that. You’re very pleasant looking. And anyway, I think we should start telling people you’re pregnant. I don’t know why you want to keep it a secret.

EMMA: I told you why.

HYRUM: Oh yeah, that’s right, because you’re paranoid that you’re going to have a miscarriage.

EMMA: No, I don’t think I’m going to have a miscarriage, I just think that I might have a miscarriage. One out of every five pregnancies ends in miscarriage. That’s a crazy big percentage. And I just think that-

HYRUM: You mean fraction.

EMMA: What?

HYRUM: One out of every five is a fraction. Twenty percent would be the corresponding percentage. But it doesn’t matter. I get what you’re saying.

EMMA: What I was saying before you interrupted me is that most miscarriages happen in the first trimester, and we’d hate to have to tell everybody about a miscarriage. It’d be terrible. And most of the time miscarriages have nothing to do with the mother’s bad eating habits or the mother’s behavior at all. It just happens. It’s sad the way a lot of women feel guilty for having miscarriages, like it was their fault, but it’s not. Their bodies can be perfectly healthy, they can be doing all the right things, going on walks, taking prenatal vitamins, everything, and it just happens. One minute the woman’s pregnant, and the next minute she’s not, and she doesn’t have a baby.

HYRUM: Yeah, miscarriages sound like no fun. I got 17 points for guilty, by the way. G U I L T Y. The Y is on a double letter score.

EMMA: So, that’s why I want to wait to tell people until I’m twelve weeks pregnant, OK? Or maybe thirteen weeks. I don’t know.

HYRUM: That’s fine. However you want to do it is fine with me. It’s your turn again babe.

EMMA: I still feel fat. That’s what’s the matter with me. It doesn’t matter that I’m pregnant. I still feel fat. I’m only eight weeks pregnant and I feel fatter than I should be. What are you going to do about it?

HYRUM: Look, I hate to say this, but, I think you need to hear it. There’s nothing I can do about the way you feel about yourself. I’ve told you already that you’re not fat. I’ve told you that you look fine- more than fine. You’re pretty. You’re a nice size. What else can I do?

EMMA: How about give me a blessing?

HYRUM: A blessing for what? Are you sick?

EMMA: Yes, I’m sick. I’m fat.

HYRUM: Babe, you’re not overweight. And anyway you don’t give blessings to fat people just for being fat.

EMMA: But I want one. How about that, Mr. Righteous Priesthood Holder? Why don’t you give me a priesthood blessing? Why don’t you go get the oil? You’re the head of the household. Why don’t you go get the holy consecrated oil and give me a blessing with your righteous priesthood to make my fatness go away?

HYRUM: What’s gotten into you?

EMMA: Are you afraid to give me a blessing, Hyrum? Scared that you might not be a righteous priesthood holder? Are you scared that maybe you’re not worthy of the Spirit?

HYRUM: What?

EMMA: Just answer the question. Are you a righteous priesthood holder?

HYRUM: Emma, why are you turning a scrabble game into a temple recommend interview?

EMMA: Answer the question. Answer the question.

HYRUM: I’m not going to answer that question. It’s inappropriate.

EMMA: Oh and you’d know all about inappropriateness. Do you live up to the vows you made to me on our wedding day? Are you a righteous priesthood holder? Answer me. Be a man for once and answer me!

HYRUM: No. This is crazy. No. I’m not going to answer those questions. Where did this come from? People don’t ask each other questions like that. I mean, are you a righteous woman? See? How do you like being asked that question?

EMMA: Yes! Yes I am a righteous woman! I read my scriptures every day. I say my prayers every day. I go to Church every Sunday. I make casseroles. I bake whole wheat bread. Yes, I am a righteous woman. And you know what else? I give you sex when you want it, and I give you sex how you want it, even when I tell you that I’m not comfortable with it, or when I tell you that I’m sleepy, but you insist on doing it, and you insist, you insist on those things you know I’m uncomfortable with, and I go along with it, and act like I enjoy it, because I am a righteous Latter-Day Saint wife. And now I’m asking you: are you a righteous Latter-Day Saint husband?

HYRUM: Babe, if you wanna slow down or take it easy, in bed, we can do that. Is that what’s bothering you?

EMMA: (opens up laptop computer and shows it to HYRUM) I found things you’ve been looking at on the computer.

HYRUM: What’d you find, sweetheart?

EMMA: Guess.

HYRUM: (HYRUM closes laptop.) We don’t need to look at that.

EMMA: Why’d you turn it off? That wastes electricity. Tell me, Hyrum, what do you find in other women that you don’t find in me?

HYRUM: Nothing. I think you’re beautiful.

EMMA: Not beautiful enough, obviously. What satisfaction do you get with those women on the computer that you don’t get with me? The stuff I saw made me sick. Just sick. You’ve committed adultery.

HYRUM: That is not adultery, Emma. What I’ve been doing is absolutely not adultery. What I’ve done is a sin, I know, but I’ve never kissed or sexually touched another woman since we started dating. And that’s the truth.

EMMA opens her scriptures to a verse she has bookmarked.

EMMA: Did you ever come across this verse in all your years of scripture study? Maybe in seminary? Maybe on your mission you returned honorably from? Matthew chapter five, verse twenty-seven. Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery. Verse twenty-eight. But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

HYRUM: Have you told anybody else?

EMMA: No. I know you have a reputation to keep up. You have a nice big family. A father who thinks you’re perfect. Your church basketball team. I wouldn’t want to dirty your reputation.

HYRUM: I know you’re being sarcastic, but thanks for not telling anyone. They don’t need to know. No one else needs to know about this. Don’t worry babe, I’m going to get over this, and we don’t need to tell the whole neighborhood, or anybody, about it, and everything’s going to be better. It’s a weakness I have.

EMMA: It’s a sin. How long has it gone on?

HYRUM: A while.

EMMA: How long?

HYRUM: Years.

EMMA: Years?

HYRUM: Yeah.

EMMA: Since before we got married? Since before we met?

HYRUM: Yes.

EMMA: This makes me sick. I don’t want to hear about this anymore. I don’t even want to know what exactly you’ve been doing. I saw enough to know that you’re sick. You’re a sick man who is not fit to hold the priesthood.

HYRUM: Wait, I’m sorry for what I’ve done, but-

EMMA: You weren’t worthy to marry me in the temple. I don’t think our marriage counted. Both the man and the woman have to be worthy for the temple marriage to count. You lied in your temple recommend interview. You told the bishop and the stake president that you kept the law of chastity, but you didn’t! You lied. I don’t think we’re really married.

HYRUM: Of course we’re really married, sweetheart. You’re being irrational.

EMMA: No I’m not! I don’t think we’re married in the eyes of God. No, we’re not husband and wife. We’re two strangers living in the same apartment, pretending that we’re in love, pretending that we’re happy, pretending that we’re a good Mormon couple! We’re strangers to ourselves and we’re strangers to God.

HYRUM: Sweetheart, you’re getting carried away. Your pregnancy gives you hormones that aren’t natural, and you build up these things in your mind bigger than they really are, sweetheart.

EMMA: Stop calling me sweetheart!

HYRUM: What are you going to do, run off to your Mom’s again?

EMMA: Yes. And this time I might not come back.

HYRUM: What about the baby? What about our child?

EMMA: I had a miscarriage. Goodbye Hyrum.

EMMA exits. End of play.