REDISTRICTING

A play in one act by Telemoonfa

The front lawn of an American southwestern city hall.

DAVID, 32, enters, sets up two lawn chairs, a cooler, and a protest sign that says, “Clean up Redistricting Now!” He looks around, waiting for others to arrive. BETH, 27, enters.

DAVID
Good morning.

BETH
Good morning.

DAVID
Are you here for the protest?

BETH
Yeah.

DAVID
Oh good. Me too. I was starting to think I was the only one that was going to show up. What time is this thing supposed to start?

BETH
The email I got said ten.

DAVID
My phone says it’s 10:17 now and so far it’s just you and me. There’ll probably be more people soon, though. More people who care about such an obscure political issue like redistricting.

BETH
Yeah. And what’s so frustrating is that redistricting is such an obscure political issue, you know? It has an enormous impact on us, and it gives the politicians so much power, and yet, it’s like, nobody knows about it.

DAVID
I know. It’s horrible.

BETH
It’s like, during campaigns all everybody wants to know is what politicians are going to do for the economy, crime, traffic, taxes, education, stuff politicians can’t really do anything about anyway, and don’t get me wrong, those are all really important issues, but, hardly anybody worries about redistricting laws, and it’s frustrating how that never comes up. The solution, in my opinion, is to get a completely neutral outside entity to draw the district lines every ten years, when the census data comes out. And when I say completely neutral, I mean, completely neutral, like a committee from Canada or something.

DAVID
Yeah, I think it’d be important for the people to be neutral, too. Completely neutral.

BETH
But the problem is, it’s nearly impossible to find a neutral party. Everybody takes bribes. Too many politicians are corrupt. Have you heard, ‘In business, if you waste money or take bribes, you get fired. In government, you get promoted.’?

DAVID
That’s funny. Did you come up with that?

BETH
No, I heard it somewhere. I just wish more people knew about this.

DAVID
Me too. But hey, we’re doing our part. You know, you look familiar. Where do you work, if you don’t mind me asking?

BETH
Swift-Holcomb Manufacturing.

DAVID
I knew it! You’re in the legal department, aren’t you?

BETH
Yeah.

DAVID
I work at Swift-Holcomb too. I work in research and development. I knew I’ve seen you around. My name’s David.

BETH
I’m Beth. Yeah, I thought maybe I recognized you, too. How long have you worked there?

DAVID
About five years. And you?

BETH
A little over a year.

DAVID
Do you like it?

BETH
You know what, I do like it. I’m pretty fresh out of law school, so I don’t have many other career experiences to compare it too. But so far, it’s not too bad. Best paying job I’ve ever had.

DAVID
Hmm. That company is so big sometimes you don’t even recognize your own co-workers. What do they have, around seven hundred employees?

BETH
I don’t know. I’d guess about that much. Nice sign, by the way.

DAVID
Thanks. I thought I should make one. I couldn’t come up with anything clever, so I just decided to go straightforward.

BETH
It’s a good sign. Nice and big, so people can see it. So, should I start yelling or something? I don’t really know what to do. I’ve never been to a protest before.

DAVID
Never?

BETH
Oh, I think I went to a couple of them in college, but just because I had some friends who were going, if I remember, or maybe I was curious, or bored, and not because I really believed in the cause.

DAVID
Well, why don’t we wait until more people come. Then we can start yelling and marching in circles and making a ruckus. I think it’d look weird for just the two of us to be standing in front of city hall protesting redistricting laws. Although I guess you can start yelling if you want to.

BETH
Stop corruption! Change redistricting laws! I can’t think of anything else to yell. Yeah, it feels weird to yell with just the two of us here.

DAVID
Hey do you want some sunscreen? I think it’s going to get to a hundred today.

BETH’s cell phone rings.

BETH
Um, maybe, hold on. Hi Ryan. How’s work, honey? … Oh, yeah, that’s frustrating. It is weird that you’re in on a Saturday… I know. You’ve worked there long enough for them not to make you work on a weekend… Yeah… Yeah… No, I’m down at the protest. Remember when I was talking to you about that last night, about the redistricting laws?… Because I believe in the cause… I know, it’s so unlike me to go to a protest, but, I thought why not, you know? … The protest’s going alright, I guess, but so far there’s like nobody here. Just me and one other guy. Do you know David from research and development? … Oh. Really? … That’s right, I forgot about that… OK… Yeah. Don’t worry. I love you… Bye. Do you know Ryan? He works at Swift-Holcomb, too.

DAVID
Yeah, I think I do know Ryan. Really tall, brown hair, says, “good deal” a lot?

BETH
Yeah, that’s him.

DAVID
How long have you two been together?

BETH
Almost two years. I actually applied to Swift-Holcomb so I could move here to be closer to Ryan.

DAVID
Is that an engagement ring?

BETH
Yes it is.

DAVID
It’s very pretty.

BETH
Thank you.

DAVID
Really pretty.

BETH
Thanks.

DAVID
When’s the big day?

BETH
In three months.

DAVID
Well that’s great. Congratulations. That’s wonderful. Just wonderful. Where is the wedding going to be?

BETH
At our church.

DAVID
Oh, so you’re religious.

BETH
No, I wouldn’t call ourselves religious, exactly, but his Mom is really religious, and she wants us to have a more traditional wedding. So, we thought we’d have it in a church.

DAVID
That’s great.

BETH
Thank you. I really wish more people would show up.

DAVID
Yeah, me too. What does Ryan say about me?

BETH
Say about you?

DAVID
Yeah, does he ever talk about his boss? Well, I’m not his boss, exactly, but I actually am in charge of scheduling his hours.

BETH
So you’re the one that made him work today.

DAVID
We’re in a crunch right now. It’s nothing personal. It’s just that we have to get a lot of stuff done in a hurry. You know how deadlines are. Yeah, Ryan… he’s a good guy. Good worker. And you’re going to marry him. Are you sure he’s the one?

BETH
We get along great, yeah.

DAVID
And it doesn’t bug you the way he’s always, saying, “good deal,” “good deal.”

BETH
He isn’t like that at home. He’s like that in public situations, though, like at work I think he tries to show people a positive attitude, so… Yeah, we get along just fine.

DAVID
Well sure, you get along with him OK, but, we’re talking marriage here. Is he really long-term husband material? I mean, in three months he’s going to be your husband for the rest of your life, and you’re OK with that?

BETH
Yes, I am.

DAVID
Sorry. I don’t mean to get too personal. I barely even know you.

BETH
Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m actually usually pretty open to talking about my love life with other people. I think that’s healthy. I don’t want to be in one of those relationships where I’m not allowed to talk to anybody else about it. Those are scary.

DAVID
I guess I’ve just had bad experiences with romantic relationships before. It’s hard for me to still believe in marriage, you know? It’s hard for me to believe that humans can be monogamous. But you and Ryan seem like a happy couple. You’re sure you’re ready to take the plunge?

BETH
What kind of a question is that?

DAVID
You’re right. I’m happy for you. Maybe we should talk about something else.

BETH
Yeah, maybe we should talk about something else. Like what we came here for. Redistricting. Maybe I’m not that open to talking about my love life after all, especially with my fiancé’s sort-of boss.

DAVID
Oh, I got too much sunscreen. Here.

DAVID puts sunscreen on BETH’s hands. BETH rubs it on her body.

This is s.p.f. 45. Most powerful stuff you can buy without a prescription. I burn so easily, that’s why I get the most powerful sunscreen I can find.

BETH
Really, it’s sad that nobody else has shown up. Who organized this protest anyway?

DAVID
I don’t know. I think I got the mass email from somewhere just like you did.

BETH
Hmm. It’s weird that nobody else is here. I do believe in the cause, though.

DAVID
Me too.

BETH
I just wish more people knew about this. It is a big deal, right? We’re not crazy for being here, are we?

DAVID
No, we’re not crazy. We’re informed citizens doing our part to make democracy work.

BETH
You sound like a politician. But just think, while we’re here, most people are probably enjoying they’re Saturday off. Hanging out by a pool somewhere. Barbequing. Shopping. Watching TV.

DAVID
Making love.

BETH
Seriously, David, do you think this protest is really solving anything? I mean, is us being out here in front of city hall making an impact? The people driving by probably just think we’re having a picnic. That’s why I haven’t protested much before. It doesn’t seem to do anything. I do believe in the cause, though. I believe in a lot of causes. If I had more free time, and more money, I’d support all sorts of causes and charities I believe in.

DAVID
Me too.

BETH
I’d help find a cure for AIDS, cancer, the common cold, everything.

DAVID
Me too.

BETH
I’d give a home to homeless children, too, if I had the resources. I’d donate money to the schools so they can hire decent teachers and buy decent school supplies. I’d stop war everywhere, too, if I had enough money or power. I really would. I just don’t have much say in what goes on in the world. I’ve always been an active voter, but I don’t feel like my vote counts that much.

DAVID
Yeah, I doubt we’re making much of a change at all, especially with just the two of us here.

BETH
Probably not. But at least it’s a nice day outside. Say, what do you have in that cooler?

DAVID
Water and Beer. Would you like some?

BETH
Yeah. I’ll have some water.

DAVID
Are you sure?

BETH
Yeah.

DAVID
Why don’t you have the beer?

BETH
I don’t know. Do you think they’ll take our protesting less seriously if we have beer cans in our hands?

DAVID
We won’t get drunk or anything. We’ll just politely sip our drinks. Anyway, do protesters usually abstain from all mind-altering substances just to assure everyone that they’re in a stable state of mind? If anything, I would think that people would take protesters on drugs and alcohol more seriously, because they might do something dangerous.

BETH
Yeah, and like, we’re so angry about the situation that we just have to drink?

DAVID
Exactly.

BETH
OK, give me a beer.

They start drinking. DAVID starts to rub her feet.

David, what are you doing?

DAVID
Huh?

BETH
What are you doing with your hands?

DAVID
Rubbing your feet. Is that OK?

BETH
Yeah. It feels good.

DAVID kisses BETH. She draws back suddenly.

I have to go. Please don’t tell Ryan what we just did.

DAVID
We didn’t do anything.

BETH
He’s a good man. I love him. I love Ryan. I have to go. I forgot about this- I have an appointment with my hairdresser, so I have to go to.

DAVID watches her leave, and then finishes his beer.

End of play.