Alf!

Dear Readers,

"Look, Bart, Alf pogs... remember Alf? He's back! In pog form." Ha ha ha. That's from the Simpsons. Ha ha ha. I don't remember which episode. Ha ha ha!

Alf's so funny. I've liked Alf ever since... I've liked Alf for a long time. I don't know if I watched the show when it originally came out, like in the 1980s or whatever... maybe I was too young for that. But I especially like him now that the entire first season (25 twenty-minute long epidodes) is on You-Tube!!!

Waaaaaaahhhhhhhoooooooo!!!!!!!

Just click on "You-Tube" and then click on "Shows" and then click on "Alf" and then click on "Watch the Show of Alf."

Cowabunga!!

Yes Alf rocks!

Let's put the pedal to the metal, fellas!!

Alf for free for everyone forever!!! I just discovered it, me me me me me, I discovered it, and it's beautiful!!! Behold the fruit that the Internet hath brought forth! Hallelujah! Who can rejoice too much in Alf?

Alf brings peace to the world. I'm serious. The world. Peace and joy. The show is so wholesome! Wholesome and awesome! I'm serious. Like, I believe that Alf is a force of good in the world. A force that I would like to endorse and propogate 4-ever 4-SURE!!!.

I've watched the first five episodes recently, and I plan on watching the entire season in the coming weeks. I think I have seen a lot of the episodes before, because when I watch the show, it feels like de ja vu, in a warm, fuzzy, non-freaky way... watching Alf feels like coming home.

Ha ha ha. Alf. He's such a weird little guy. Like, what is he, anyway? What kind of alien-planet habitat would have made him evolve to be the creature he is? (Even though I don't believe in evolution- on any planet!! Evolution comes from the Devil because he wants your soul!) And how does Alf speak English? Ha ha ha. He must be like a linguistic genius!

But anyway, I like him. He likes me. He's cool with just hanging out at home all the time, getting into mischief. I wish I had an Alf, sort of. A secret alien that I had to hide from my neighbors.

I like the Alf comic books, too. I have this Alf Christmas special issue and on the cover there's a picture of Alf at the North Pole, and Santa Clause says to him, "No, the help wanted ad said 'elf' not 'Alf!" lol!

The show is cheesy. But I like it! They don't make them like they used to, you know what I mean? I like Alf! So far my favorite episode has been when a babysitter comes over and Alf messes with her, like he orders a pizza and then the babysitter lady says to the delivery boy, "No, we didn't order a pizza." And somehow - I don't remember how - but somehow she gets the pizza anyway and Alf steals it from her all sneaky style and ... and ... it's so funny!

And the first episode is cool too. There's like this government agent who comes and says, "Hey I'm from the government and our radars picked up a disturbance, and if you are hiding an alien then you better turn him over so we can take him to our lab and run hurty tests on him." and then the family almost does it, but then they decide to keep Alf, and the government guy goes away, and it's like they're all a family, you know? It's cool the way that the family just accepts him the way he is, you know? The. way. he. is. Even though Alf is a short, deep-voiced furry alien who quadruples their grocery bill and tries to eat their cat, the family just loves him. Loves him! Ha ha ha.

Oh... Alf, my dear, dear Alf, you don't know how much joy you've brought to me. You are so much more wonderful to me than the news that flows from the dreary, normal world. Confound the normal world! Confound the normal news! Confound it! Blast the rotten, and embrace the ripe, I say to you, my friends, my fellow wanders in this lowly terrestial sphere/flat-plane-resting-on-the-back-of-four-elephants-and-a-turtle! (see last post to get that reference)

Onward, brethern! Onward, sistren! Go forward! Go forward, boldly marching into the promise of the future!

Onward to answer the call of Alf!

For surely Alf beckons, (and he beckons in such an enteraining way, I must say. Entertaining and funny!) and surely Alf will be answered. No more shall we suffer our melancholy eyes to behold, no longer shall we suffer our drooping ears to hear the news which causes our brains to become filled with quiffness! Banish the quiffness and summon the anti-quiffness! Send ala-quiffert wooper-stooper things into the abyss of Ala-quiff-endom and send super awesome things straight into the squishy pink part of your heart where LOVE grows! (Hint: Alf is a super awesome thing- so send Alf into your heart!!!)

OK I'm being a little silly and maybe a little sacreligous, but seriously, Alf is soooooooooooo cool and I just think that so many people should watch him, you know? So many people!

Like, if I was put in charge of a prison and given the task of reforming the most mentally deranged inmates, to make them safe for the streets again, you know like the really crazy crazy dangerous ones who eat their own eyeballs and stuff, well, I would make them watch Alf over and over and over and over and I would make them wear Alf pajamas all the time instead of those bright orange jumpsuits they usually wear, ha ha ha! And I would use my theatrical skills to turn them into The Alf Players, or maybe I would call them Ye Olde Troupe of Alfian Actors and they would re-inact every single episode of Alf for the rest of the prison inmates until... Presto Chango! The former criminals are not only de-crazified, but they're ready to drive schoolbusses and deliver flowers!

Set the prisoners free! Make the prisoners watch Alf! That's the only real way to get effective reform into our penitentiaries!

!!!

Hooray yes Alf 4-ever! I love Alf! Alf is the best TV show of all time in all of the Universe forever! Alf is the best no matter what anybody says, including you! Oh no I can't blog anymore because I have to go watch Alf!

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa