Higher Education

Higher Education

Up late again, I scan my college’s
course catalog. It’s a ritual- I do it when
I procrastinate homework.

PHI 230, a class in philosophy,
will fulfill my liberal studies requirement,
perhaps I should take it next semester,
but I think I am against
a class in philosophy.

Part of me wants to use big words,
in front of lots of people, the way
bearded professors do, words like “empirical,”
“juxtaposition,” and “pragmatic.”

Really I don’t know what those words
mean, but I know I don’t like them.
They sound hurtful,
they sound unkind to children.

I practice saying them out loud; I look
over my imaginary audience
of note-takers, gesturing with my hands
the way my professors gesture with their hands
when they use those big words.

One look in the mirror outs me.
I am a liar.