Vote No on San Tan Valley Incorporation

Dear Readers,

This post goes out to all my San Tan Valley/Queen Creek readers.

(Other people can still read it, though.)

Pretty soon we’ll be voting on whether or not San Tan Valley should become a city. I’ve thought about the issues and studied the issues, and I’m now certain that I’m going to vote no on incorporation. And if you live in the area, you should vote no as well.

Here are four reasons why I am opposed to San Tan Valley becoming a city:

1. More government

2. Higher taxes

3. We don’t need it.

4. Once you incorporate, you can never unincorporate.

Well, maybe it’s technically possible to unincorporate, but it’s practically impossible. It doesn’t happen. Have you ever heard of a city voting to stop being a city? Town Council members, City Council members, mayors, etc. - when do those people voluntarily give up power? Remember Doctrine and Covenants 131:29: “We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.” Power corrupts people. Only principled people like George Washington refuse the crown. Yes, of course we need some government and some regulation. But we don’t need as much government and regulation as we have right now. My point is, we can vote no this November, and then if we change our minds in a year or two or three, we can bring the issue to the ballot again. But once we say “Yes, let’s become a city” we can never go back to being unincorporated.

Here’s some of the arguments you’ll hear from the proponents of the incorporation of San Tan Valley, with my rebuttals:

1] But San Tan Valley is so big! There’s 80,000 people here! It’s gotta be a city!

A rural community isn’t legally required to incorporate once the population gets to a certain size. Ordinarily, 80,000 in the same general area usually live in an incorporated city, but so what? If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too? If all the other densely populated rural communities incorporated, would you do it too?

2] San Tan Valley can grow in a more structured way if it incorporates. Our street signs can match! Our light posts can match! Maybe everything could be a gorgeous seashell-ish fuchsia!

I think I speak for most Americans when I say that liberty is more important than matching street signs. I think our area is pretty enough, and our cornucopia of Home Owner’s Associations do a pretty good job of making everything look like everything else.

3] We’ll have better roads.

That’s a pretty good reason. But I think the county can build roads just as well as a city can. And we can still get federal earmarks to fund road construction.

4] Being a city with a distinct identity will attract developers and businesses.

I may not be a business whiz, but I know that a lot of great businesses and developers have already found their way to little obscure San Tan Valley somehow, without matching fuchsia streetsigns to lead them here. And I bet the businesses will keep on coming. What will attract business more than a city with a catchy slogan is a lot of cheap land for sale, few regulations, and low taxes.

5] Incorporation is inevitable. It will happen someday, because the population is growing so much, so we might as well do it now.

You make it sound like becoming a city is like becoming part of The Borg. (Remember the Borg, all you Trekkies out there? "We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile." Ha ha ha.) No, incorporation is not inevitable. We residents of San Tan Valley have willpower! We residents of San Tan Valley have self-determination, and we can do what we want to do! If we don’t want to become a city, well then, dag-nabbit, we shouldn’t vote to become a city! Incorporation is not inevitable. And even if it is, it could still be right to fight against it.

Moving on, my life is great here in unincorporated San Tan Valley.

Well, it’s pretty good.

In any case, I’m sure my life would not improve merely because San Tan Valley incorporated. I think this is a wonderful area and I’m glad to call it home. Sure, it may not have all the nice amenities of a city, and the sidewalks certainly leave something to be desired, but so what? What is a few nice amenities and prevalent sidewalks compared with the beautiful unincorporated suburban sprawl of the twenty-first century Wild West?

And if you want to live in a city so much, go move to a city instead of trying to change this place. That’s what I think.

Here’s a few examples of what incorporated cities have done recently:

The city of Phoenix recently passed a tax on food. Lame!

Cleveland, Ohio is crumbling because of burdensome city taxes and city regulations. Drew Carey is trying to save Cleveland.

Really rich people and the middle class have left New York City because the taxes are too high.

(By the way, I kind of don’t like using the terms “middle class” and “upper class” and stuff, because I’m afraid that using those terms leads to class warfare, and class warfare leads to Communism. I bet the more liberal a person is, the more often he or she uses the term “the middle class.”)

Sahuarita became a city in the 1990s, and it quickly bowed to the will of one real estate developer -old Mr. Sharpe, an unsavory character- and the Town Council spends most of their time changing the color of the street signs and trying to get each other kicked out of city government.

San Francisco fines you a whole bunch for not being sufficiently green.

So, there's a few examples of the dumb stuff city governments do. Of course, county governments do dumb stuff too, but not nearly as often or as severely as city governments.

Of course, I’m not against all cities. Heavens no! But I’m for more limited government, lower taxes, and other conservative things. So, all things considered...

Vote No on San Tan Valley Incorporation!

If you want to donate to the anti-San-Tan-Valley Incorporation Fund, Click on the big red YES below. It will take you to a secure donation website where you can support the cause of liberty financially.

YES

In the event that the secure online donation system is not functional, just mail cash, checks, and/or your personal credit card information (including your name as it appears on the card, the 16 digit #, if it’s Visa or MasterCard or whatever, and your name and address, and the 3 digit security code on the back, and… while you’re at it, you should give me your social security number, too, just so I can verify your identity and make sure everything is on the up and up.)

Mail all donations to:

Telemoonfa
Camoflauged Secret Bunker # 41
Undercoverville, USA

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa