Gophers, trees, happiness, the particle accelerator

Dear Readers,

A lot of my blog can be negative and whiny, but this one will be positive. As the winter fades and spring emerges, I slow down, taking more time to appreciate the beauty of nature around me. The trees. The breeze. Trees being waved by the breeze. Birds. Grasshoppers. Gophers. Things that are kind of like gophers but aren’t exactly gophers, you know... Other stuff like that.

OK that positiveness was nice… now it’s time to return to my normal gig: making you feel angry and anxious! Did you know that there’s this big particle accelerator that’s over in Europe? Some scientists want to smash atoms together and see what happens- hmmm yes, scientific progress, hmm… yes, won’t that be interesting NO IT WILL NOT!

Do these scientists know that IT MIGHT BLOW UP THE PLANET??!!! It might cause a supernova (seriously!) or a black hole that will swallow the whole entire earth in one little gulp. Yeah they’re not sure which one’s gonna happen when those atoms get smashed together- it might be a supernova or it might be a black hole, or it might like, create another universe inside our Universe because it’s like gonna recreate the big bang and everybody’s gonna choke because anti-matter is gonna go down their throats! (Even though I don’t believe in the big bang anyway… all them scientists… they think they’re so smart!)

And there’s nothing you can do about it! Those scientists are just over there in Europe smashing atoms together and laughing and you know why they’re laughing? BECAUSE THEY HATE THE WORLD!!

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa