Dear Readers,
In my last post, I wrote briefly about the news and how I think the news media is liberally biased. I hinted that I'm skeptical of global warming. Let me be more bold here. Let me show you my true colors.
Here's a list of some things I believe and some things I don't believe that might make me sound crazy.
1. I'm not convinced that global warming is real. I'm afraid that global warming is just a way for lots of governments to come together, make global laws about a so-called "global" problem, and form a creepy one-world-order. And anyway, even if global warming is real, there's nothing I can really do about it. Plus, if global warming is real and if it's human-caused, it doesn't really matter becuase by the time the earth gets anywhere near uncomfortably roasty-toasty, Jesus will be back on earth- with a vengence!
2. I think Noah was a real man and he really built a big boat and put a bunch of animals on it and God really flooded the whole world. Really.
3. I think all the languages in the world derive from the language of Adam and Eve, and that the Adamic language was split into a bunch of different languages when God messed up the languages when people built the Tower of Babel. That's what the Bible says! That's not what my linguistics textbook says, but that's what the Word of God says! (Yee-haw! I'm a cowboy!)
4. I think the Earth is 6000 years old. That is, I think that Adam and Eve fell around 4000 BC and now we're at 2000 AD, so that makes 6000 years.
5. I don't believe that humans evolved from monkeys. I don't really believe in evolution, the way they teach it in schools nowadays. I believe God made the world and God made humans.
6. I believe that America is in too much debt and we might go into another depression if we keep trying to provide social security and medicare benefits.
7. I believe that gun rights are awesome. And I want more guns. Big ones. In fact, I'm a-gonna shoot my guns right now, just to celebrate America!
8. I personally believe that Yip-yip! Yee-haw! I'm a rootin-tootin' cowboy!
Sincerely,
Telemoonfa
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9 comments:
you sound insane
nd you don't seems to have studied your bio very well...nowhere does the theory of evolution imply that humans evolved from apes....
and we need social security and medicare...also, this country sucks...
and as for global warming, you better hope jesus comes back to save you, but maybe trying to live green in the mean time wouldn't be a bad idea...you just in case you're wrong or he's late.
I disagree. He doesn't sound insane. Though I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that he lives, eats, works, and blogs from out a shoebox.
Love the list. Some quick responses.
The news media does have a liberal bias. In a way, that's the whole point.
1. Global warming or vengeful Jesus, which poses the biggest threat to the most people? Hrmm.
2. I like this idea, too. The next time God uses global warming to flood the Earth maybe more people will build boats.
3. Two of my favorite things are language and mythology.
4. That's some delightful math. >8D
5. Evolution isn't something to believe in, it's something that is completely evident. I believe God knows what he's doing with it.
6. The United States (let's not be over-generalizing our nation as an independent entity by calling us "America", shall we?) is going into another depression. The bailouts only serve as a buffer against what is inevitable. The good news: I like Chinese food, so what do I need a house for?
7. Sir, you are wasting your bullets.
8. Cowboy = Zealot (?)
Dear Uncapitalizer,
I may sound insane, but I have dinosaurs, real ones, lots of dinosaurs, including T-Rexes, and they eat people just for fun.
I'm not saying I'm dangerous, but I'm not saying I'm not dangerous- and neither do I say that I'm not not dangerous!
Dear Snert,
Yip-yip! yee-haw! I'm a cowboy!
Really maybe I should disenable comments for this post because I don't intend on bending my opinions in the slightest degree! I am past persuasion! If you could see me right now, you would see that I am plugging my ears and yelling "nyah nyah nyah! I can't hear you! I can't hear you! nyah nyah nyah!" And that's what my dinosaurs are doing, too!
See, I've pretty much got the whole world figured out in my own head, (I am, after all, 25 years old now) and by virtue of my outstanding brain I'm thinking of starting my own school. I already have a name picked out. I'll call it: "Telemoonfa's Special Place Where Kids Get to Learn Together All The Time About Everything." Or, TSPWKGTLTATTAE, for short.
Seriously, all your comments are cool, snert, and so are yours, uncapitalizer, you know, really. I just want to take this moment to congratulate us all on our comment-ability.
Oh, and I really don't have guns, not that it's any of your business. But I do have metaphorical guns, and I'm metaphorically shooting them right now.
Bam! Bam! Roar! Roar!
nyah! nyah! nyah!
you have dinosaurs? you mean the ones that lived 65 million years ago? that can't be right, because according to your math the earth isn't that old....hmmm....weird....
i don't know about snert, but i don't expect to change your mind. you sound like the kind of guy that the more truth he hears, the more he digs in and sticks with his bizzare beliefs. that thing you did, covering your ears and yelling...yeah...that's what i'm talking about here.
i like all of our comments as well...you can dis-enable them if you want, but i'll still keep reading...
oh, and i like gun rights too. i don't have any guns though, they're too expensive. but the only kind of metaphorical guns i can think of are called penises in real life...so, it's impressive that you have more than one...enjoy shooting them off... ;0
hey...also, thanks for the niffty new name...i feel very watchmen, what with being a normal girl with a neat-o secret identify fighting for justice...i'm sure you understand
I think man made global warming is a hoax perpetuated by greedy unethical people (scientists ?)to make money. Hey if they can get the tax payers to fund their research they will be laughing all the to the bank.
The problem with evolution is not that man evolved from apes. It is that man evolved from rocks. one complicating factor would be if some evolutionists really have rocks in their head, that might be evidence that they descended from rocks.
This country is the greatest.
congrats telemoonfa on the new anonymous commenter, who seems to share your crazy-ness! yay for you guys. it's nice to have company.
My theory on scientific theories, and other random thoughts. First things first. The big bang theory or did the earth (universe) create itself? I have read that the big bang happened a long time ago in a place far far away. That EVERYTHING in the universe was super dense and super small, smaller than the period at the end of this sentence. In fact smaller than an atom. This little bit of nothing exploded with a Big Bang into EVERYTHING. The explosions I have seen destroy things but the big bang explosion theoretically created everything. Now fast forward a few million or billion years to lifeless earth and the theory of evolution. I used to call it the pond scum theory, but the pond scum I have seen I believe is not lifeless. Anyway scientists say on this lifeless earth was some type of soup with secret ingredients and another bang (thunder) and lightning strikes the soup and life is created. Again the lightning I have seen burns, kills, destroys. But this lightning creates. We probably have all seen the diagram that shows this one cell life form that evolves into some kind of fish or pollywog which grows legs and walks out of the pond and evolves into man, not to mention all other plants and animals. I believe scientists take just as big, if not bigger, leap of faith to believe in these theories as I take in believing God created the earth and all the plants,animals, and man. I do not have to believe all scientific theories (some are real doozies) to appreciate all the wonderful things scientists have discovered and developed. These things makes my life much more enjoyable. I thank God for scientists.
PP
"I believe him" (a little boy looks out the window to the vast earth that is the new frontier)
Telemoonfa is cool for saying these things. and its not like he's forcing religion down your throat, you read the blog.
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