They Had Teeth

a play in ten minutes by Telemoonfa

(It’s afternoon in rural Texas, 1934.  JUNIOR, a thirteen-year-old boy, sits in front of a shack, scratching a big circle in the dirt with a rock.  GRANT, a pastor in his forties, enters.  JUNIOR stands.)

GRANT  Hello there.

                       

JUNIOR  Hi.

GRANT  It’s a hot one, ain’t it?

JUNIOR  Sure is.

GRANT  Feels like more than a hundred.  What do you say?  A hundred?  More? Less?

JUNIOR  Uh… I don’t know.

GRANT  Is your Daddy around?

JUNIOR  Yes sir.

GRANT  In the house?

JUNIOR  No, he’s out back, in the garden.  But I wouldn’t go back there if I was you.  He don’t like preachers.

GRANT  How’d you know I was a preacher?

JUNIOR  I seen you at church, preaching.  I been there a few times. 

GRANT  Oh.  I don’t recollect seeing you there.

JUNIOR  I always sit in the back, when I go.  You’re the new preacher. 

GRANT  (shakes JUNIOR’s hand, laughs)  Naw, I ain’t that new.  Pastor Jebediah T. Grant’s the name.  What’s yours?

JUNIOR  Junior.

GRANT  Well Junior, it’s good to meet you, and even though you say your Daddy don’t like preachers, maybe he’ll like me.  I’m a new preacher, remember?  (laughs, almost exits.)

JUNIOR  Wait, um, Pastor? 

                                                                                                                       

GRANT  Yes?

JUNIOR  I have a question.  You’re a preacher and all, and, I mean, you know the Bible so good… I was wondering… Oh, never mind. 

GRANT  What is it?

JUNIOR  No, no, you’re busy. Never mind.

GRANT  I’m in no rush.  Ask your question.  Don’t worry, I’ve heard ‘em all before.

JUNIOR  Is doing magic circles wrong?

GRANT  What?

JUNIOR  Is doing magic circles wrong?  Are they against the Bible?

GRANT  Hmm.  Now that’s a question I’ve never heard before.  What’s a magic circle, some kids’ game?

JUNIOR  No, doing a magic circle ain’t a game. They’re supposed to help you make a wish. 

GRANT  Well, the Bible don’t talk about magic circles directly, no. But, in a way, the Bible says something about everything.  You just got to know how to look for it.

JUNIOR  It don’t say nothing about brushing teeth.

GRANT  Excuse me?

JUNIOR  The Bible don’t say nothing about brushing your teeth. Daddy says I have to brush my teeth.  He said it was a commandment straight from God.  I asked him to show it to me in Scripture, but he just gave me a whippin’.  Pastor, did they even have toothbrushes back in the Bible days?

GRANT  Well, Junior, whether the people in the Bible had toothbrushes or toothpaste, or any mouth-cleaning product, isn’t the issue.  The real issue is, they had teeth.  And they also had a commandment to keep their temples clean.  And by “temples,” I mean “bodies.” 

JUNIOR  Does that mean I have to brush my teeth?

GRANT  Open your mouth. (GRANT looks in JUNIOR’s mouth.)  Whew!  Yep, you should brush alright.

JUNIOR  I know I should brush, but I wish Daddy wouldn’t whip me.  I hate it when he whips me.  Look.  (JUNIOR raises his shirt, exposing extreme bruising.)

GRANT  He hit you with a belt?

JUNIOR  Yeah.

GRANT  For not brushing your teeth?

JUNIOR  Yeah.

GRANT  Hmm.  Well, I got beat when I was a child too, when I did something my Daddy didn’t like. 

JUNIOR  It still hurts. 

GRANT  I’ll bet it does.  Well, you know what they say, “spare the rod, spoil the child.”

JUNIOR  I wish I was a little more spoiled then.

GRANT  Don’t we all. Listen, I want to answer your question about magic circles.  But first I got to know what they are.

JUNIOR  Well, magic circles, they come from, uh… magic circles, let me just show you.  See this over here?  I started it right before you walked up. And it’s got the four little circles, see?  One on the top, one on the bottom, one on this side and one on that side?

GRANT  Uh-huh.

JUNIOR  Those four little circles go on the north, south, east, and west. So, to do a magic circle, first you make a big circle in the dirt.  Actually, first you have to get all the right things. 

GRANT  And what’s this all for?  It helps you wish?

JUNIOR  I think so. 

GRANT  You think so?

JUNIOR  I’ve only done a magic circle twice before.  Both times my wish didn’t come true.  But maybe that’s because I didn’t do the circle right.

GRANT  What’s your wish?

JUNIOR  Nothing.

GRANT  It’s okay, you can tell me.

JUNIOR  No, I didn’t wish for anything.

GRANT  Oh, come on now.  Don’t lie.  You didn’t go through all this trouble just to wish for nothing.

JUNIOR  The wishes are private.  They have to be kept a secret, or else they won’t come true.

GRANT  Listen, here’s an idea for you, Junior.  Instead of doing this circle business, which looks like it might be witchcraft, if you want a wish to come true, why don’t you pray for it?

JUNIOR  I can’t.

GRANT  You can’t pray? 

JUNIOR  No, I can pray.  I do pray.  I pray every night.  But I can’t pray for my wish.

GRANT  Why not?

JUNIOR  Because what I want is something that, well, it doesn’t seem right to pray for it. 

GRANT  If it don’t feel right to pray for it, then it’s probably wrong.  And if it’s wrong to pray for it, it’s wrong to wish for it, whether you’re making a magic circle or throwing a penny down a well.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna head back there to talk to your Daddy.

JUNIOR  Wait.  Please?  I need to know if God says magic circles are okay or not.  Let me finish showing you. 

GRANT  Alright. 

JUNIOR  (holds up items as he talks excitedly)  Okay, so you’ve got to get something from the north, like an animal body part.  You got to get something that belonged to something that’s dead.  And it’s all split up into days.  On the first day, you go north.  See, the first day I got this crow feather, so I’m putting it here, in this little circle on the north.  The second day I walked south, and I found a dead cow.  That’s how I got this cow bone.  It’s a rib.  It was real hard to break it off from the rib cage.  And now I put the rib in the south circle.  Then on the third day I got this.

GRANT What is that, a spider web?

JUNIOR  Yeah, a spider web.  From the east.  And I know the spider was dead because I killed it.  He spun this huge web, about this big, stretching between two trees.  It looked like a firework pattern all spread out, real pretty.  So after I killed the spider, I took its web down and put it in my pocket.  So now I’m gonna put it in the east circle.  Then on the fourth day, which was yesterday, I went walking a long long way into the west. 

GRANT  And you got the head of a snake?

JUNIOR  Yeah.  This snakehead is from a Night Snake.

GRANT  Did you kill that too?

JUNIOR  Sure did.  I saw it from far away, about thirty feet.  I snuck up on the snake, and I picked up a big rock that was laying there, and I didn’t make no noise, and I got right over it, and I went, WHAM!  The rock landed right on its head. That’s how come the head is dented funny and see how one of his eyeballs came out?  So, I cut off the head with my pocketknife.

GRANT  I don’t know if I like the sound of this. 

JUNIOR  Once I have all the things in the right circles, I walk around the circle three times.  One.  Two.  Three.  Then I sprinkle myself with dirt, like this.  And the whole time, I can’t go inside the circle.  But after I sprinkle the dirt on myself, then I can go in the circle.  OK, now that I’m in the circle, I say the magic words.  Ghosts from the North, arrive.  Ghosts from the South, arrive.  Ghosts from the West, arrive.  Ghosts from the –

                                               

GRANT  (GRANT yanks JUNIOR from the circle.)  Stop it!  Stop it!  I don’t need to see anymore.  This is the work of the Devil!  Now, look here, Junior.  I need you to promise me something.  I need you to promise God something, right here, right now.  Here.  Swear on this Bible.  Put your left hand on it.  Raise your right hand.  Repeat after me.  I, Junior,

JUNIOR  I, Junior,

GRANT  Do solemnly swear,

JUNIOR  Do solemnly swear,

GRANT  to never do magic circles again.

JUNIOR to never do magic circles again.

                                                                                               

GRANT  Remember this day, Junior.  Remember what you promised.  (GRANT exits.  Pause.) 

                                                                                                                       

JUNIOR  (to himself) I’ll never do them again, but I might as well finish this one.  (JUNIOR walks around the circle three times, sprinkles dirt on himself, and re-enters the circle.)  Ghosts from the North, arrive.  Ghosts from the South, arrive.  Ghosts from the West, arrive.  Ghosts from the East, arrive. Power of the Earth, come up. Power of the Sky, come down. Hear me today and grant my wish. Hear me today and grant my wish.  Hear me today and grant my wish.  (long pause.  GRANT screams from offstage.  JUNIOR is terrified.  GRANT enters.)

GRANT  Junior!  What have you done?  He just died.  Your father’s dead!  (GRANT runs offstage)

JUNIOR  I didn’t know it would work.