The Government Got Fat

Have you seen America’s Facebook pics lately?
I mean I don’t want to be harsh, but… OMG!
To be fair, the Grand Canyon is still there,
The fruited plains are so gorgeous I can’t help but stare,
And the Golden Gate Bridge, the Statue of Liberty,
And patriotic, hard-working folks like you and like me
Are still in the albums of the Land of the Free.

But if you click on Washington D.C.’s photos,
You’ll see how the government’s really let itself go.
I’ll spare you the misery of looking. I’ll just say it:
The government got fat.
And not just a little bit!
The government got whale fat!
The government got Jupiter fat!

You want to know how much it weighs?
Fourteen trillion pounds!
That’s trillion with a T!
That’s a 14 with 12 zeros!
That’s 14,000,000,000,000, written numerically!

By now you know I speak metaphorically.
Uncle Sam’s weight is measured in dollars, not pounds.
And by “weight,” I mean money that cannot be found
Because we don’t have it!
Because no one has it!
We’re in debt!
14 trillion dollars in debt!
14 trillion dollars in business-crushing, morale-deflating, children-robbing, horrible, horrible, national debt!

The government got fat!
What are you going to do about that?