TV Poetry

Dear Readers,

Here are two funny poems I wrote a decade ago. They're about TV and Super Nintendo. Enjoy.

Results of a TV Addict

Video games and TV Guides line the walls of my home,
And I’m writing this silly poem,
To show you what I absolutely adore
(Although some might say it’s a bore)
But I think it’s heaven-sent,
Having my brain cells unduefully spent
Feeling my brains turn into goo,
Duuuh… sometimes I say “moo”
And my muscles all deteriorate
And my toenails all disintegrate,
But of course my thumb muscles are still good,
From playing video games as long as I could.
I have no reason to go outside.
My brains are already fried
From staring at my wonderful television
Which might be in Smell-O-Vision
But I wouldn’t know,
Because so many years ago,
I lost my sense of smell
When I accidentally fell
But that doesn’t matter now
Look! TV! It’s “The Big Brown Cow”

That’s the Life

My Super Nintendo and I are going to run away
Where birds always sing and babies never cry
Where dogs never bark and streams always flow
There we could, for all eternity, play my blues away
Watching the pigeons and sparrows happily fly
My Super Nintendo making me forget everything I know
Then finally I’d be happy to always stay
Eating gummy bears and apple cinnamon pie
But I wouldn’t worry about being bitten by a vamp-crow

Everything would be happy there
So whenever I wanted to, I’d just fall asleep
I could snooze ‘neath the shade of yon oaken tree
What was happening back home? I wouldn’t care
Because I wouldn’t have to earn my keep
Or keep track of some important key
The hardest thing I’d do is simply pick a pear
There would be no work there, to make me weep
Ah, yes, not a care in the world, that’s the life for me.