Thursday, November 11, 2010
Gummy Bear Eating Made Easy: A Fundamental Step-by-Step Guide for the Serious Gummy Bear Eater
After practice, eating gummy bears will not only be enjoyable, but it will also turn into an evening ritual that will be hard to pass up. First, you get some gummy bears from a store, preferably Bashas’. Then you take them home. Once you get settled into your favorite gobbling chair, rip open the inferior plastic bag with all your mighty rage, letting some of the candy fall into your lap. Eat the ones that fall onto the floor first, for they are the sweetest. Then furiously jam your fist into the bag, collecting the gummy heads in the cracks between you fingers, then licking them off. Once your hand is slimy with your drool, you are ready to eat 30 at a time. Form your hand into a scooper and scoop up anywhere from 30 to 35 gummy bears. Shove them into your mouth. Don’t chew too slow; the average should be 81 CPM (chews per minute). Repeat this process until you can’t scoop anymore. Then lift bag up to your mouth and dump the rest in. Leave the bag on the floor for your dog to eat. Dogs like that.
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2 comments:
I am so glad to know how to properly eat gummy bears now. The ironic thing is that a couple weeks ago I melted a bag of gummy bears in our car so they are now a brick of goodness. I keep meaning to take a cool picture of them and blog about how wonderful melted gummy bears are (specifically Haribo gummy bears). I might actually have to do this now. I love your blog.
What you do is that you take your melted Gummy Square and put it in the fridge. Once it is cool, you cut it up into fun shapes for the kiddies (or gummy loving adults). They'll love it.
If you want to get really creative, you can use and Exact-O knife and sculpt out new gummy bears or other tiny figures. Personally, I like to carve out little gummy wagon wheels - not because I love wagon wheels especially, but I am not very skilled with an Exact-O knife and wagon wheels are easy to make. Plus, the wagon wheel shape makes for excellent chewing action in your mouth.
The Boid
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