Jokes, part two

Dear Readers,

Here are some jokes that I have in my brain. For the first installment of jokes, click here.

1.

A duck walks into a bar and says to the clerk, “Do you got any grapes?”

The clerk says, “No, we’re a gas station. We only sell gas and sunflower seeds and beef jerky and stuff.”

So the duck left. A minute later, the duck came back in.

“Do you got any grapes?” the duck asked.

“No, dude, we don’t have any grapes. I already told you that,” the clerk said, annoyed.

So the duck left. A minute later, the duck came back in.

“Do you got any grapes?”

“No! No! No! For the last time no! If you ask me one more if we have grapes, I’m gonna nail your duck bill to the floor!”

“Do you got any nails?”

The clerk thought. “Ummm… No.”

“Then do you have any grapes?”

2.

Darth Vader and Obiwan Kenobi were sitting around the Christmas tree. Vader says to Obiwan, “Hey, Obiwan, I know what you got for Christmas!”

Obiwan says, “Really? How?”

“I have felt your presents.”

(presents is kind of like “presence.” If you’re familiar with Star Wars, you should get this joke.)

3.

knock knock

who’s there?

Boo

Boo-hoo

Don’t cry. It’s just a joke.


4.

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Hoo.

Hoo who?

Are you an owl?


5.

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Interrupting cow

Inter-

MOOOO!!!


6.

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Interrupting sloth

Interrupt-

[make slow silent hand motion, reaching toward the other person]


7.

Q: What’s Jeff Flake’s favorite breakfast?

A: Frosted Flakes- they’re sugary sweet on the outside, but on the inside they’re career politicians that sponsor carbon tax and amnesty bills.


8.

Q: What’s Jeff Smith’s favorite breakfast?

A: Wheaties, the breakfast of Champions, because Jeff Smith will be the Champion of Arizona’s 6th Congressional District.

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa