Things That Wake Me Up in the Middle of the Night

Thunder

The phone

Screaming cats

Cats attacking other cats

Dreams

Bad dreams

Nightmares

My wife accidentally kicking me

My wife flopping over

Ghosts

My wife nudging me on purpose

Vivid dreams or visions

I don’t know which

A stranger crawling into my bed

OK that only happened once

In college

He was drunk 

He thought he was in his room

But really it was my room

Good ghosts

Bad ghosts

Car alarms

Honking

 Parties

The train whistling

Loud rain

Hail

It’s too cold

Gotta go to the bathroom

It’s too hot

Gotta puke

Crazy cramp in my right calf

Pain pain pain

Ambulances

Cop cars

Fire trucks

Gunshots

OK not gunshots

I’m in a nice neighborhood

The baby crying

The other kid crying

My wife crying because the kids are crying

Alarm clocks that play music

Alarm clocks that just beep

Spiders

Beetles

Cockroaches

Crickets

Caterpillars

A sudden feeling  

A sudden thought

People asking, “Are you awake?”