Oh most noble and airborne Lugia,
Pokemon classified as legendary,
Hast thou descended from the Land of the Giant
Or the Magical Tree-Tops of the Fairy?
Nay, for these places are merely fictitious.
The reality of your actual existence is much more delicious.
Your home, Oh majestic Lugia, lies in golden afternoon
skies.
I’m perceiving a gigantic platter of actually-perceived
blueberry pies,
Which are yummy, and really really really really real,
Pies which cause our mouths to water, our tongues to
tasty-feel,
Because these now-perceived fourteen pies are sublime,
More than Snorlax Sublime, more than Charizard Sublime,
Yes, the sublimity of the pies is best digested, not by
analogy,
But by a thrice-repeated pronouncement, pronouncing their
actuality:
The pies are Lugia Sublime, Lugia Sublime, Lugia Sublime!
Also, a blueberry pie has blue in it,
and you, Lugia, have blue in you, too.
Were you formed in the Dank Dark Depths
Of the Very Cosmic Womb of the Cosmically
Dank and Dark Poke-Mother of the Poke-Force?
Are you the mystical power which gives rise
To Ash Ketchum’s imperialistic drive,
The power which enables all the Pokemon to remain alive,
And imbues all the Pokemon with the will to thrive?
Or are you the Son of this mystical power?
Or the Nephew? Or the Nephew’s Cousin’s Business Partner?
Ah, but you speak no answer, because, like all
Pokemon, excepting Team Rocket’s Meowth,
You are forever bound by the Poke-Force to talk
Only in utterances of your own name. What a shame.
For I ‘twould love to hear you speak,
In words replete with sense, in sentences complete.
But we, for now, ‘twill have to settle,
Since only your sounds “Loo,” “Ge,” and “Uh,”
Are permitted to bespeak your mettle.
What Pokeball can contain your greatness?
What Pokedex can describe you in fullness?
What Poke-illustration can Poke-illustrate you?
Seriously, Lugia, you’re downright Poke-mysterious!
When after a day of battling and strife,
I sat by a rock on a mountain’s peak.
‘Twas then that I caught a glimmer of your beak.
And then your wings were revealed to my view,
And then your belly, your back, your wing feathers too.
I stood and I stared.
I dared not say a word.
Lo! Perching before me was a legendary Pokemon bird!
All massive, all terrible, all very sublime,
And I knew this would be the first and last time
I would see you.
‘Twas as if I was fixed in a haze.
Upon your midnight eyes I fixed my gaze.
I looked at you. You
looked at me.
Our eyes locked for an eternity.
I retrieved a Pokeball from my leathern knapsack
and dreamed of the day when for me you would attack.
I pressed a button, watched the ball enlarge;
I was going to show Lugia who was in charge.
But alas, before my Pokeball’s size fully increased,
My plans for domination were prematurely ceased,
For you were in majestic flight,
headed off into the starry night.
And you flew away, away, out of my sight.
I wanted to throw rocks.
I wanted to fight.
I was furious then, but now, everything’s all right.
Lugia belongs in his home in the sky.
Don’t tie him down.
Don’t even try.
Maybe we really don’t need to catch them all.
Prideful acquisition will lead to our fall.
At least one Pokemon should be allowed to get away,
Poke-fans, keep this in mind next time you play.
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