NAU's 2013 -2014 Theatre Season

Dear Readers,

Well folks, it’s that time of year again when your friendly neighborhood busybody complains about the debauchery going on at the Northern Arizona University Theatre Department in Flagstaff, Arizona, as evidenced by this year's selection of plays. 

I complained about the 2010 -2011 season here.

I complained more about the 2011-2012 season here.

In the years 2012-2013, I kept complaining, here.

(Also, way back in 2009, I complained about one play in particular that I saw, Catholic School Girls, here. The play is an assault on Catholicism, God, and religion.  And yet, at the end of the play, when the lights faded, I was among those in the audience clapping. Everybody else around me was clapping, so I did it, too.  I like to think that my applause, though, was my small way of acknowledging the talents of my classmates, and not an endorsement of the play's immoral teachings. I instinctively knew at the time that I didn't like the play, but it's taken me a long time to articulate why.  And by "bad play", I don't mean that the writing or the story was bad.  In fact, I was spellbound by it.  Catholic School Girls was very well written and very well performed.  By "bad play", I mean that the overall theme and message of the play was bad.  It advances the work of Satan.)

And now we've arrived at the year of our Lord 2013, and the latest NAU theater season has been publicized.  Let's get to my most recent complaints.

On New Beginnings A comedy by Dr. Mac Groves

Well, this play in un-google-able, so I can't tell you anything about it.  All we have to go by is the one-sentence description of the play, which is as follows: "A discovery of the true nature of how friendship can overcome problems which, taken on individually, might prove insurmountable."  It could be about two rival dinosaurs who begrudgingly join forces to find a magic crystal that will stop a volcano from erupting, thus prolonging the day of their inevitable extinction.  If that's what it's about, then I would say the only reason it's about dinosaurs (instead of more Christian-themed animals, such as sheep or lions) is because dinosaurs are atheists favorite animal.  Why?  Because, "Don't you see," says the angry atheist, "dinosaurs bones prove evolution, and evolution disproves the existence of God."  Thus, with his nefarious selection of beast-characters, Dr. Groves is sucking the faith out of all who participate in and witness this play.

Ha ha ha.  Just kidding.  On New Beginnings will probably be uplifting, heartwarming, and smile-dispensing.

Spring Awakening book and lyrics by Steven Sater, music by Duncan Sheik, based on the play by Frank Wedekind

Trash trash trash trash trash trash!  It's about a bunch of teenagers who have a bunch of sex. In between sex romps, the teenagers wax philosophical and rebel against what they view as a sexually repressive and generally corrupt society.  And we're supposed to applaud that.  Copied and pasted from Wikipedia:

Amateur performances of Spring Awakening are now being licensed. Depending on the locale, there is often a higher age limit to participants to avoid infringement of child protection laws, as performances involving the underage could be considered child pornography.

So... you know it's gotta be bad.

But perhaps the most demented part of this production is its timing.  You'll notice that the play is about Spring, and yet it will be performed in the Fall.  How backwards can NAU drama get?  God made the seasons the way they are for a reason!  Let's honor God and his marvelous creations by doing plays about Spring in the Spring and plays about Fall in the Fall!   

Seriously, though, when NAU, or any state University, puts on a play like this, they cause unnecessary friction.  I imagine a young committed Christian student who wants to be an actor.  Her conscience precludes her participation in a play like this.  And yet, she wants to act.  She wants to go to college and be on stage and have people applaud.  That's a beautiful desire to have.  So, she has a difficult choice to make.  Does she go along with the other students, perform in the play, and otherwise keep herself as innocent as possible?  Or does she sit this one out?  Or does she transfer to a religious school?  I don't know. 

I wish the the professors would be more considerate to the conservative Christian students they are being paid to teach.  I wish they would pick plays that more people could be comfortable with.

A lot of parents come to these plays, too.  The parents are more likely to have conservative values than their college student children, majoring in drama.  A play like this pushes the parents away.  Well, some parents might like it.  But I, for one, am not going to send my children to NAU to study theater, not when the department insists on producing plays like this.

The Shape of Things by Neil LaBute

Instead of reviewing this play, I'm just going to assassinate the character of the author.  Neil LaBute is an angry ex-Mormon who has a dislike for humanity.  Granted, he is a talented artist and a smart guy and a passionate, hard worker, but... I think he's unhappy.  I don't see how a guy who writes such depressing plays about how everybody is so rotten could be happy.  Critics have rightly called LaBute a misanthrope. 

Probably one of the worst things LaBute did was his play The Mercy Seat, a play written in response to the 9/11 terrorist attack by Muslim extremists.  Instead of writing a play that shows us who the real enemies are, (Osama Bin Laden and other violent, radical Muslims) and who the real heroes are (President George W. Bush, the New York Fire Department, the U.S. military) LaBute writes a play about a guy who worked at the World Trade Center and who missed work on the day of the attacks to be with his mistress.  The guy thinks that his wife thinks he's dead, and thus the 9/11 attacks might be his opportunity to run away with his lady-friend. 

What?  This play misses the whole point of 9/11!  There is so much tragedy to write about, there is such a clash of cultures to deal with, and yet LaBute writes about his play about the guy who missed work that day to cheat on his wife?  This reminds me of a book I had to read in one of my college English classes, The Eyes of the Emperor by Graham Salisbury. It's a young adult novel about WW2 that makes Americans out to be the bad guys.  It focuses on the Japanese interment camps and such.  Really, I think kids ought to be reading books that show the truth about World War 2, which is that Americans stopped the Holocaust and saved the world from Nazi terror.  

Warning!  Spoiler Alert! The Shape of Things is about how a guy gets dumped by his girlfriend who was actually never really his girlfriend and really their relationship was all part of her twisted thesis for her MFA.  The play ends with the guy crying and alone.

I think I'll sum up The Shape of Things in two words: total bummer. 

Though, I might actually want to see the play.  It sounds kind of good.  I don't know why, but I like total bummer plays sometimes.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde adapted by Jeffrey Hatcher from the novella by Robert Louis Stevenson

Well this one sounds like a good, tasteful play. Like Neil LaBute's works, though, it focuses on the darkness that lurks in the hearts of men.  But... uh... well... I would complain about the season's lack of... I don't know Christian morality or something... but I need to go to bed.  See you later.

Oh, one other thing.  I kind of miss theater, but I also like being a suburban, church-attending blue-collar worker with a wife and kids.  I really do have a peace and a rhythm in my life that I don't think I would have if I were still involved in theater.  I'm not saying that theater is bad.  On the contrary, I think theater is beautiful and wonderful.  But like all beautiful and wonderful things, it must be constrained by the bonds of pure religion.  Without the forces of revealed religion keeping theater in check, theater becomes our whimsical taskmaster; it becomes our idol.  It has the potential to distort one's priorities and sense of eternity.  And that is what theater has done to many of the good people at Northern Arizona University.

I'm not saying that you can't have a peaceful, spiritual life while at the same time being an actor or a Broadway producer.  I suppose that's possible.  But if it's Heaven you're after, considering becoming a fisherman or a shepherd.    

Goodnight.

Sincerely,

Telemoonfa