Dear Readers,
The following is a little play I wrote recently for my sister who teaches a dance class for young girls in Sahuarita, Arizona. Mostly the play is just a bunch of segues between song and dance numbers. The words in bold are songs. It was actually performed a few weeks ago in the Sahuarita School District Auditorium. Enjoy.
House music plays.
Grand curtain opens to reveal the living room of a well to do family,
decorated for a Christmas party.
Prudence Murdock enters, powdering her face. She is followed by Sophie, a maid.
Prudence: Tinsel! Green!
Red! A poinsettia! The stockings were hung by the chimney with
care!
Sophie: So you like it Mrs. Murdock? You like how I decorated for tonight’s
Christmas party?
Prudence: Don’t rush my judgment, Sophie. I haven’t properly inspected. First overall impression… charming. Upon closely examining this tablecloth,
however, I see what can only be described as an imperfection.
Sophie: Oh, no, I wanted so bad to make it pretty.
Prudence: Certainly you did.
Sophie: I wanted to make it real good, real good for
Christmas.
Prudence: I know your heart Sophie, my dutiful maid, and it
is pure. But alas, Sophie, your heart’s
purity has proven powerless at producing a symmetrically placed tablecloth.
Sophie: Did I do a bad thing?
Prudence: (measures with tape measure) The distance
from the floor to the tablecloth on this side is two feet, two inches. The distance from the floor to the
tablecloth on this side is two feet, two and a half inches. That’s an entire half-inch of
discrepancy! A walloping half-inch of
imperfection! Out with you! (Sophie goes to door. She wants to stay, and earn back Prudence’s
approval. ) Out!
Sophie (at doorway) All I wanted to do was make some
people happy with Christmas and with the ribbons and make the little children
smile.
Prudence: Out! (Sophie
exits) Charles! The time is
6:03. Charles! 6:03!
(Charles enters)
Charles: Yes honey, I know what time it is.
Prudence: And where were you to be at 6? What was the previously agreed upon minute
designated for the pre-party wardrobe inspection?
Charles: I don’t know.
Prudence: You infuriate me.
Here! You were to be here!
Charles: I don’t care.
Prudence: Merry Christmas.
Charles: Merry Christmas to you.
(Sarah enters)
Sarah: Merry Christmas to us all!
Prudence: Ah, Sarah.
Sarah my lovely daughter. Your
mere arrival brings a sweetness to a day made bitter by tardy husbands and
imperfectly aligned tablecloths.
Sarah: (aside) I wish I had a Mom who talked
normally.
Prudence: (she points at Charles’ tie) What is
that?
Charles: My tie.
Prudence: It is not the tie to which I refer, but the brown
smear that is defiling the tie!
Charles: Oh, that. It’s hot chocolate. I was drinking it and… woops.
Sarah: Don’t get too worked up, Mom. Nothing says Christmas like hot chocolate.
Charles: I like hot chocolate.
Hot chocolate song
Prudence: Oh, what a lovely song that was.
Sarah: Yes, lovely. Lovely.
Charles: Lovely lovely lovely.
Prudence: All this love almost makes me want to invite
Sophie back in for a cup of hot chocolate.
(Sophie enters)
Sophie: Did you say, you want me to come back in?
Prudence:
Sophie! Were you
eavesdropping? You know how I feel
about those who press ears to doors.
Sophie: Yes ma’am.
Sorry ma’am.
(Sophie exits)
Charles: Prudence, you’re being a bit of a Grinch, don’t you
think?
Prudence: I think
you’re the mean one, Mr. Grinch! (storms
off in a huff)
Sarah: Sometimes I don’t know who’s a bigger Grinch, my Mom
or my Dad.
Prudence: 6:15! The
guests will be arriving any minute!!
Any second! Charles, did you get
that invitation hand-delivered to the Senator?
Charles: Yes, dear,
but I doubt he’ll be here. I’m sure the Senator has more pressing parties to
attend.
Prudence: You underestimate my renown. And you underestimate the reputation of my
Christmas parties.
Sarah: Mom, Dad, everyone, the guests are arriving!
(All guests enter.)
Random Guest # 1: Yo
check this, Miss M. Your parties rock!
Random Guest # 2:
You said it. Tonight, we’ll be
rocking around the Christmas tree!
Prudence: These
guests are a bit rambunctious. Sophie,
enter! (Sophie enters with a platter
of cookies.) Serve the cookies.
(Guests start eating cookies.)
Sarah: (aside) I wish Mom would get into the
Christmas spirit. Parties are for fun,
not impressing people. Hmmm. Maybe if I compliment her cookies, she’ll
lighten up. (to Mom) Mom, these cookies sure are scrumptious.
(Human cookies enter)
Charles: Yes, these
cookies are great. And the guests are
great. Like you, for example, in the
sombrero. You’re a great, grand,
wonderful guest- downright delightful- and I don’t even know who you are. I don’t even know where you’re from.
Guest: I’m from Mexico.
Charles: Mexico!
I’ve never been. What’s it like?
Guest: Well, I could
tell you, but I’d rather just show you.
Amigos, vamanos!
Prudence: Charming.
That was charming. (looks in
handheld mirror) Charming like my Christmas hairdo. Ah!
The tablecloth! It has become
crooked once again! Something is rotten
in the house of Murdock. (straightens
tablecloth with help of tape measure.)
Sarah: (aside) Wow.
Mom totally does not get it.
Mom, what do you think Christmas is all about?
Prudence: Oh, you
know, it’s about presents, parties, candy canes, Rudolph the Red-Nosed
Reindeer.
Sarah: Well, parties and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer are
great, but I feel like Christmas should mean something more.
Where Are You Christmas?
(Charles is touched by Sarah’s song. He walks to Sarah.)
Charles: That was beautiful Sarah, and you’re absolutely
right. Christmas has a deeper meaning. We celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.
O Holy Night.
Curtain.
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