Steve Smith! Part Two

Dear Readers,

If it weren’t for Steve Smith and the propositions, I might not even vote this upcoming November 2nd. I mean, John McCain is going to win no matter how I vote, and so is Jan Brewer, and so is Jeff Flake, and so are most of the Republican candidates for state offices. This is a Republican year. Many Democrats are upset with Obama, and so lots of them are becoming Republican or Independent. That’s good news, but I sort of wish I could vote in a more exciting race, like Sharron Angle vs. Harry Reid in Nevada, or Ron Johnson vs. Russ Feingold in Wisconsin.

Luckily, there’s an exciting race in my Legislative District, good old LD 23: Steve Smith vs. Rebecca Rios.

I’ll be voting for Steve Smith.

Steve Smith is clearly the better candidate. I think I’ll help out with his campaign a little bit, but I don’t think I’ll invest so much emotionally as I did with Jeff Smith’s campaign.

I think Steve Smith’s got a really good chance of winning, because he’s the Republican, and like I said, this is a Republican year.

But um, he might lose just because Rebecca Rios has money, name recognition, connections and she’s the incumbent. Plus, Rebecca Rios has a ka-billion signs up in my neck of the woods, and I haven’t seen a single Steve Smith sign. So I think Smith should work on closing the sign-gap.

But Rebecca Rios is soooo liberal!!! And she really needs to lose!!!

I already wrote about Rebecca Rios’s ultra-liberal liberalness here.

Rebecca Rios is the definition of a career politician. If you look up “career politician” in the dictionary, you’ll see a picture of Rebecca Rios.

When Rebecca Rios was in high school and it was career day, Rebecca went straight to the “politics” booth and stayed there all day. She got an A + in government class, not because she really understood any of the content, but because she did an oral interpretation of the Miranda rights dressed up as a sexy Lady Liberty.

Steve Smith, on the other hand, is a conservative new-comer who, unlike Rios, has actually had some private sector jobs. And he’s very Christian, and he’s got an adorable wife and kids. And it looks like he’ll really work on fixing the illegal immigration problem, which, in turn, would help the economy problem. I don’t agree with him on everything. I wish he were a little more socially conservative. Well, I’m sure he’s socially conservative when it comes to his personal life, but he might be a bit more libertarian when it comes to, say, the marijuana issue. I thought I read a survey he filled out once about social issues, but I can’t find it now. Anyway, Steve Smith is pro-life, so that’s good. Blah blah blah,

Vote for Steve Smith this Tuesday, November 2nd!

On another note, I’m still stewing over Jeff Smith’s loss. What makes my sorrow deeper is the fact that a gigantic Jeff Flake billboard went up just the other day on the 60 freeway in Mesa on my drive home from work. Gosh, did Flake have to rub his victory in like that? Why didn’t he put up the billboard before the primary, when he actually had some competition? Now he’s just wasting money. And I thought Flake was supposed to be the champion of penny-pinching!
Rebecca Schneider, the lesbian socialist librarian, has no chance of beating the Eagle Scout, farmhand, and GQ model all-rolled-into-one Jeff Flake. (OK, I'm not 100% sure that Schneider is a lesbian, but unless my gaydar is malfunctioning, um... come on... she wears a man's haircut... she loves dogs... it doesn't take Scooby-Doo to solve this mystery!)

I’ve got a message for you, Jeff Flake: I’ll vote for you, and if I see you at church I’ll smile and shake your hand, but whenever I see your gratuitous billboard, I'll make a Wolverine-clawing motion with my hand in the air!

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa