Dear Readers,
I'm so glad that Jeff Smith is running for Congress in Congressional District 6 in Arizona. I hope he wins.
Jeff Smith has a hard fight ahead of him. Jeff Flake, the incumbent, has been there for a while, and Jeff Flake seems like such a great guy. Flake grew up on a farm or a ranch in Snowflake, he's LDS, and he's been known to wear cowboy hats. Those 3 things pretty much guarantee him a whole lotta votes in this part of the forest.
I talked with a lot of my LDS co-workers the other day about Jeff Flake and Jeff Smith. None of them had heard of Jeff Smith. I was happy to inform them about Jeff Smith’s existence, of course.
(By the way, I actually get a little upset when people haven’t heard of candidates, or of the tea party movement. The tea party movement is so important. Why aren’t people a little more informed? Sometimes I think it’s no wonder our government has become bloated and tyrannical- the common people aren't paying attention.)
Well, the response I got from my co-workers about Jeff Flake was, “Oh yeah, Flake, he's a great guy. He’s one of us, and he’s our… what do you call ‘em? You know, the local political person… uh, Representative. Yeah, Jeff Flake’s great. I think my uncle played basketball with him a few times. And I’m pretty sure my brother’s mother-in-law used to visit teach his grandmother. So he’s got my vote."
That’s the general impression people have about Jeff Flake. They recognize his name, they’re comfortable with him, and golly, Jeff Flake is practically their cousin, neighbor and home teacher all rolled into one handsome and charming Representative!
So I think one of the main things Jeff Smith supporters need to do is explain why Jeff Flake needs to go.
But I'm worried that Jeff Smith is too nice of a guy to really attack Jeff Flake. After all, Smith’s never been a politician before, and politics is a slimy business.
Well, if Jeff Smith is too nice of a guy to sling some mud, then I’ll do it for him:
Here are some headlines I’m working on:
Flake: Closeted Homosexual? Barney Frank gets frank on his “bromantical” fling with AZ Congressman!
Flake Hugs a Cactus: Jeff’s Soft Spot for Spotted Owls
Ensnared by Booby Traps: Jeff Flake’s Porn Problem
Flake Dines with the Undocumented! Felipe and Juan tell all!
Flake Finds Allah: AZ Rep Undergoes Self-Islamification!
Shhhh... Do you hear that sound? Do you hear it? That’s the sound of Jeff Smith’s numbers going up!
Jeff Smith for U.S. Congress!
Sincerely,
Telemoonfa
P.S. I could have sworn I saw some signs for Jeff Smith on the corner of Ironwood and Ocotillo, in San Tan Valley, or maybe the corner of Ironwood and Combs. Then all of a sudden they were gone. Did Jeff Flake’s henchmen steal Jeff Smith’s signs?
5 comments:
I finally had some serious free time and have been reading your blog. You should look seriously into writing for a paper or magazine. Very few people write with both intelligence and humor...I believe thats called wit right?!?! Very rare nowadays. I finally started a blog myself but have no idea where I am going with it. If your interested check it out sometime...hummelcool.blogspot.
I seriously doubt Jeff flake is anything like any of those headlines.
Would you mind explaining why Jeff Smith is a better candidate? is it just cuz he's nice?
In my english class we have to write an english paper. The list of topics to choose from had the tea party movement listed as a topic! I'm going to write one. and improve my own knowledge of the movement.
oops excuse me. I should refer to the earlier post about Jeff Smith to know why he's a good candidate.
Wow! You're English class is awesome if you get to write a paper about the tea party movement. You should interview me, or I could refer you to a few of the leaders of local tea party groups in the San Tan Valley area. But wait, do you even need an interview for the paper?
I'm supposed to have a billion sources for the paper so yeah, I'd like to interview you. and I'll prolly use the links on your blog and such. But I just started on it. classes just started a week ago.
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