What the Weather’s Like

The summers around here are much too hot,

as hot as oatmeal boiling in a pot.
So, from May to September, I complain a lot.

In the fall I suppose the weather’s alright,
but my lousy neighbors still aren’t polite
and the children these days give me a fright.

The winters are too dark and cold.
I wish it was never winter, truth be told.
That reminds me: I’m getting old.

Spring may be joyful for the birds in a tree
but it’s not a happy time for me.
I’ve got a bad back, a worse knee,

I’m tired and old and angry,
my life was a disappointment,
and I don’t care what the weather’s like.

Nothing is Exploding

Just when you're about to sell
all the fine art in the house
to buy canned food and guns,
just when you think North Korea
launched a nuclear warhead headed
straight for your back porch wind-chime,
just when you think God's gonna
reach his giant hands out of the sky,
grab hold of the planet and smoosh it,

that's when you notice a stupid dove
gently perched on a tree branch,
that's when you stroll down the street
to collect the usual junk mail,
that's when you look around, and see
with such clear eyes
that nothing is exploding.

In Hell

There's a demon

that puts his hand

into your mouth

and makes you

taste the blood.

On Being Given a New Notebook for my Birthday

What good is a new notebook
if I have nothing good to write?
I try putting forth profundities
but I end up sounding trite.

And what good is my voice
if I have nothing good to say?
It may be better to work
in silence, all throughout the day.

Could it be that this empty book
is just how the Bible started?
Well, I'm neither Moses nor Solomon,
but at least I am good-hearted.

The Best Naps

The best naps happen in the thick of turmoil,
when water reaches a rapid boil,
when livestock crashes through the gate,
or an angry woman smashes a plate.

Oh, I'm getting sleepy just thinking about it:
I go alone to my room and relax for a bit.
They all panic, chaos abounds, violence ensues,
yet I lie tranquil, in the midst of a snooze.

It's delightful.  They can fight and they can weep,
but my bedroom is locked, and I am asleep.
And no matter how long they pound on the door,
I'll stay in my bed just a few minutes more.

We Go To Our Car

And drive to a place
that is full of toys.
There's so much space
and birds that make a happy noise

and puzzles and games and trees
and if you want a treat
there are crackers and cheese
for free, for anyone to eat.

And there's one special spot
on the top of a hill.
If you climb climb climb a lot,
be quiet, and stand really still,

that's when you can see
every part of the sky.
Some people don't believe this place is real.
I don't understand why.