Ah! The desert! Ah! The cactus!
Ah! The green-barked trees
which scraggle their crooked limbs
and twizzle their twisted twigs
across the sun-beaming skies of Cochise County!
Or maybe it’s Pima County.
I don’t know where I am right now.
Ah! Ah! This desert makes me say "Ah!”
Mmmm… yessiree these palo verde trees
sure do make me queazy in the knees
because they are sooooooooooooo dreamy!
And how pleasing to the senses
are miles of desert, without fences! Ah-choo!
Actually, come to think of it,
they’re not very pleasing at all.
When the noon-time heat-breeze bashes
its hot breezy fist of breeze into my face,
yellow pollen blasts all over the place,
especially up my nose!
Ah-choo! Ah-choo! I sneeze!
Hey, desert trees and desert breeze,
I’d really like to breathe,
so can you cut that out, please?
Keep your pollen to yourself
before I chop you up
and turn you into a shelf!
Ah! Though I shout out a protestation,
the desert theater begins its feature presentation:
Attack of the Breeze-Borne Pollen Monsters!
I surrender! I surrender!
Look! I’m down on the ground!
You want me to eat a rock?
A tree is communicating with my mind?
OK! OK! I’ll do it!
I’ll do it for you, desert tree!
I WILL EAT A ROCK!
But just a little one, OK?
Munch munch munch
munch munch munch.