Monday, October 24, 2011

Will Wil Cardon Win?

Dear Readers,

There's a guy named Wil Cardon who is running against Jeff Flake in the Republican primary for Senator.

I don't know too much about Cardon, but from what I do know, it looks like Wil Cardon is a more formidable opponent than I had previously thought. I initially dismissed him because Seeing Red Arizona dismissed him, but maybe I shouldn't have been so dismissive.

The most important thing you need to know about Wil Cardon is that he's a ka-trillinoaire. An ultra-super-mega ka-trillionaire. And he earned that money fair and square. And he's going to spend a whole bunch of his own money to take down Jeff Flake.

Now, Jeff Flake is a pretty good conservative, but there's a lot of things I don't like about him.

I don't like his stance on global warming and cap and trade. He thinks it's real, and he likes the cap and trade idea.

I don't like his stance on illegal immigration. He's soft.

I don't like his career in politics. Flake's never had a real job. And if he becomes our Senator next year, then he'll most likely be our Senator for at least thirty years. That's the way politics work, you know.

I don't like his blonde highlights.

So... I think I support Wil Cardon. I wonder if Sherrif Joe Arpaio will endorse Wil Cardon. Sherrif Joe endorsed Jeff Smith, Jeff Flake's challenger for Representative last year, so... if the trend continues... Cardon should get Arpaio's support.

What Cardon doesn't have is an strong campaign organization, like Flake has. Cardon's going to have to spend a lot of money to get people to recognize his name and convince people that he'll do a better job than Flake.

But I think Cardon's already convinced me. I think I support Wil Cardon.


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Vote No on the J.O. Combs Unified School District Budget Overrides

Dear Readers,

On Tuesday, November 8th, there will be a special override election in the Combs Unified School District, in San Tan Valley. The schools want more money. They want about two million dollars, in addition to all the money they're already getting, over the next three years.

To obtain the desired additional funds, the school districts have proposed increasing property taxes.

There are two propositions on the ballot, propositions 1 and 2. Proposition 1 will allow the School District to spend 10 % more than the state budget allows them to. Proposition 2 will allow the School District to spend 5 % more than the state budget allows them to. (What happens if they both pass? Does the district get to spend 15 % more than the state budget allows? I think so.) Both propositions stipulate that the additional spending will be funded entirely by new property taxes on properties located within the school district.

For a person who owns a home valued at $97,770, (which is a few thousand more than my house is worth) it will cost an additional $176.34 a year. That's $ 14.70 a month. I'm getting this information from the pamphlet I got in the mail.

And if you own a business that's valued around 2 million dollars and is located within the school district, your business will pay an extra $7,132.90 a year.

Please vote no on both 1 and 2.

Here's a few reasons why you should vote no:

1. More taxes are bad for the economy.

2. Schools already have enough money. Lack of funding is not the issue. Mismanagement of funds is the issue.

3. Schools never stop asking for money. If Propositions 1 and 2 pass, soon the school will find that they need more money.

4. Proposition 100 passed. Wasn't that supposed to rescue the schools from financial ruin?

5. The increased taxes will stick around for 7 years. In 7 years, I'll bet that Combs USD will ask for a renewal of the increased property taxes.

6. If they cut a few extracurricular activities at the schools, so what? So the students may get to take a few less field trips. Big deal. Parents can hire a private person to teach their children music or art or sports. You can play on teams. Kids can join clubs. There are community theaters. There are church groups that have all sorts of youth activities. I know private sector football clubs are not the same as high school football, but we taxpayers need to take a stand somewhere. When I was a kid, I didn't participate all that much in extracurricular activities. I mostly built forts in the desert, and listened to Bob Dylan and read comic books alone in my room. And look at me now! I turned out great! The privileged teenagers may whine for a few weeks, and the union members may whine for a few years, but they'll get over it, eventually.

7. Schools waste too much money on technology.

8. Money is power. Whenever you pay taxes, you surrender a little bit of your power to the government. Of course we need some taxes, for roads and the military and for all of the other constitutional actions of government, but we don't need nearly as much taxation as we have now.

9. There are those who say that church and state should be kept separate. Maybe school and state should also be kept separate.

10. If it turns out that the Combs Unified School District starts failing, then I would suggest taking your kids out of public schools and putting them into private schools, charter schools, or religious schools, or educate them at your own home. Or let them go uneducated and make them work in a factory or on a farm. That will build character, and schooling is overrated anyway.

11. If you feel heartless voting no on 1 and 2, soothe yourself by writing to your Representatives and Senators in Congress and telling them to support school vouchers. I think school vouchers will go a long way to fixing our education system.

12. I've already written about wasteful spending in education, and at Combs USD in particular, before.

I'm sure some will call me Mr. Merciless for voting to keep my property taxes at their current levels, but I can endure name-calling, especially entertaining, alliterative name-calling. In fact, alliterative name-calling is quite fun. Why don't you call me The Heartless Hermit? I can take that. Or how about a Dastardly De-funder? Those descriptions slide right off me, I'll have you know, you Terrible Tax-Raiser, you Limp-necked Liberal, you Pricey Public-School Promulgating Pansy!


Thoughts on the October 18th Republican Presidential Debate

Dear Readers,

Rick Perry

Stick a fork in Rick Perry. He’s done. He’s had too many bad debate performances. I know I predicted that Rick Perry would be the President, but… well… um… gee… um… I was wrong. Rick Perry awkwardly pauses too much. He doesn’t speak in nice complete sentences. He’s not dumb, but when it comes to extemporaneous speaking, sometimes he sounds dumb. I know that nobody speaks in nice complete sentences all the time, but some are more eloquent than others. Mitt Romney is more eloquent than Rick Perry, for example.

In a perfect world, it shouldn’t matter that Perry is a lousy debater. Content is more important than form. Substance is more important than image. I would rather have a experienced and honest leader with limited speaking ability, like Moses, than an inexperience and deceitful leader who has mastered the art of rhetoric.

But we don’t live in a perfect world, and these days, politicians need to be able to debate well. And the Republicans need to nominate a masterful debater. Can you imagine Rick Perry going up against Barack Obama in a debate? Obama would beat him. Obama can blow people away in debates. He’s got the look, the demeanor, the voice, the inflection, the gestures… I’ll admit, sometimes when I watch President speak for a while, I get a tingly, hypnotized feeling! But then I remember what’s Obama’s actually saying, and I remind myself that he’s wrong and/or lying most of the time.

Also, part of a President’s job is giving good speeches. Obama’s great at speeches. Really great. Maybe that’s why he does them so much. Too bad they don’t seem to accomplish very much. The highlight of Obama’s Presidency so far, I think, was when he spoke at the funeral in Tucson. It’s a beautiful speech, beautifully delivered.

One thing that bugs me about Rick Perry is that half his answers started with something like, “We need to start having a serious conversation about ___________ (fill in the issue here.) “It’s time to seriously revive a national debate about ____________” This is a minor complaint, but still, it was something I noticed.

The best thing I can say about Rick Perry’s performance last night is that he suggested that we should stop funding the United Nations. I completely agree, and I was happy to hear someone besides Ron Paul and his John Birch Society pals say that we should get out of the U.N. It’s time for us to withdraw from that corrupt organization. Oh, I suppose if our membership in the U.N. prevents war somehow, we can stay in it. What do I know? But really, the best way to prevent war, like Mitt Romney says, is a strong America. Peace through strength. Generally speaking, Americans are still the good guys. Even if we stay in the U.N., let’s give it less money, and less of our participation.

Jon Huntsman

Man, they asked Huntsman so few questions, and he gave so few answers, it’s almost like he wasn’t even there.

Ha ha ha. If you saw the debate, you know that was a joke. Huntsman actually wasn’t there. I don’t know why. Probably because Huntsman isn’t doing well enough in the polls to warrant him a spot in the debates. That’s the same reason Gary Johnson was absent.

I know a lot of conservatives don’t like Jon Huntsman, but I thought he did pretty well in the past debates. He certainly sounded smart and made a lot of interesting and witty comments. On the other hand, I’m glad he wasn’t there. His absence gave more time to the more electable candidates.

Newt Gingrich

I think he won the debate. Cain got hammered on his 9 9 9 plan, Mitt Romney got hammered on RomneyCare, Perry hammered himself with his own slow tongue, but Gingrich neither hammered nor received hammering. He was gentlemanly. The more I hear Newt Gingrich, the more I like him. And he is so spot-on with his critiques of the provocative, TV-friendly debate format. The debates are looking more and more like episodes of Jerry Springer these days.

Newt challenged Obama to a Stephen Douglas – Abraham Lincoln style of debates. I think that’s a great idea. I think the Republican nominee should do that, unless the nominee is Bachmann or Perry. They seem to be the most limited when it comes to debating. Oh, and probably not Ron Paul, either. But Romney, Cain, Santorum, and Gingrich would all mop the floor with Obama in a series of old-fashioned debates.

Ron Paul

Ron Paul managed to not say anything kooky for another debate. But, in my opinion, Ron Paul seems grumpy. And he seems to relish his outsider status. There’s a problem when outsiders become leaders. They can’t lead because they’re stuck in the outsider role. In fact, I think that’s what happened to Obama. Obama was the cool outsider guy, the rebel against the system, but now he’s become the System. Does that make sense?

Ron Paul’s budget proposal is good…. I guess… he wants to eliminate a dozen federal departments and agencies and slash a trillion dollars in spending. Hey, I’m all for drastic cuts, but come on, let’s face it, if Ron Paul were the President, his budget proposal would instantly fail. It’s too drastic. It’s too revolutionary. And if you think Cain’s 9 9 9 plan would be hard to pass, Paul’s budget proposal would be impossible. Does Paul seriously think he could get a budget that cut 1 trillion dollars form this year’s budget? There’s no way. Even if a hundred new tea-party type of people got elected to Congress next year, there’s still no way. I’m not being pessimistic. I’m being realistic.

Michelle Bachmaan

I think Bachmaan had a pretty good night. I don’t think she said anything too embarrassing. I thought she was a little over-the-top emotional when she spoke directly to the Moms and kids of America who are facing foreclosure. She didn’t say what she would actually do about the foreclosure problem, but I guess it’s good every once in a while for Presidential candidates to try to reach out emotionally to voters. One good moment for her was when she said that everyone should pay some federal taxes. With the way the federal tax code is now, about half of Americans don’t pay anything.

I can always hear her laugh. And she has these great big smiles. Almost too big.

Hmmm... I was about to comment on her outfit, but that would be sexist and shallow of me. I didn’t think about saying anything about any of the other candidate’s outfits. Women probably have a harder time than men getting dressed up. Men just wear a gray or black suit. It’s a given. But women have to pick out colors and accessories and makeup and hairstyles and etc. etc. etc.

That being said… did you see Bachmaan’s buttons last night?! And those mountainous shoulder pads?! Oh My Wow! Is she trying to trick us into thinking that she’s a man? Which sailor did she steal those clothes from? I mean seriously, with the way she was costumed, I thought at any time she was going to start baton-twirling!

And the woman really does have a beautiful head of hair. Why would she pass up a chance to flaunt it?

Rick Santorum

Rick Santorum is great. I don’t know why he’s doing so badly in the polls. Maybe he doesn't look Presidential? He seems to be a rock-solid conservative. He opposed TARP, and I love the way he keeps bringing up family values. He keeps stressing that stronger families make stronger economies. And when he criticizes other candidates, he has substantive things to say. Rick Perry hit below the belt when he accused Romney of hiring illegal immigrants to work on his lawn. Michelle Bachmann said, "Watch out for the 9 9 9 plan! Turn it upside down!" (By the way, I think Bachmaan stole that from me. Shhh… actually the truth is that I kind of maybe stole that funny idea from someone else on the Internet.) Rick Santorum, on the other hand, had legitimate complaints about RomneyCare. I also like the way he seems to answer the questions asked of him. He doesn’t change the subject or dodge things as much as the others do. He had a good night.

Mitt Romney

Mitt delivered yet another stellar performance. He consistently comes off as sharp, fair-minded, and handsome. His weakest part of the night was when he was being criticized on RomneyCare, and in fact RomneyCare is probably the weakest part of Romney's whole life. Another bad moment was when he was bickering back and forth with Perry. Mitt Romney 2012!

Herman Cain

I wished Herman Cain would have defended his 9 9 9 plan a little better than he did. He seemed to keep saying, "Go to my website. Experts analyzed the 9 9 9 plan. Go to my website. Experts analyzed the 9 9 9 plan. Go to my website." The 9 9 9 plan really is a great plan, in my opinion. I just wish Cain could communicate its greatness a little better.

Blah blah blah.

I have plenty more to say, but it's getting late, and my ADD is kicking in, and yours probably is too, so let's just call it a night, shall we?

Thanks for reading, I'll see you later, and Mitt Romney (or Herman Cain) 2012!

Actually, lately I've been thinking it would be cool to have a bumpersticker that said, "Mitt Romney or Herman Cain 2012". I like them both a lot.

OK, see you later


Monday, October 10, 2011

NAU's 2011-2012 Theatre Season

Dear Readers,

Well, another college school year has arrived, and with it has come Northern Arizona University's 2011-2012 Theater season. I criticized last years' plays in this post. And now in this post- you guessed it- I'm going to criticize this season's plays. Here's the list of the plays they're going to do followed by my biased, Christian, judgmental, and politically conservative thoughts:

The Two Gentelmen of Verona: The Musical, adapted by John Guare & Mel Shapiro, based on the play by William Shakespeare

Shakespeare set to rock and roll. I guess that's cool. I don't have much to say about this play, but I want to make the observation that William Shakespeare is a pillar of Western Civilization, and this play seems to put a few cracks in that pillar. Instead of doing a Shakespeare play in a traditional, respectful production style, (you know, tights, capes, swords, corsets for the ladies) NAU has chosen to do a modern, messed-up version of Shakespeare.

The modern liberal University seems to have a love-hate relationship with William Shakespeare. Academicians love him because he's such a gold mine of great literature. They can't deny his skill, his genius, and his enduring popularity. But they hate him because they hate Western Civilization. You see, the more college professors read Shakespeare and talk about Shakespeare and teach Shakespeare, the more they perpetuate the greatness, or at least the influence, of Western Civilization, of dead white men. Some scholars satisfy both their desire to study great literature and their desire to bash dead white men by teaching Shakespeare in disturbing new ways. For example, they teach The Tempest from a postcolonial view, and they teach The Merchant of Venice from a homosexual view.

Nickle and Dimed by Joan Holden, based on the book by Barbara Ehrenreich.

This is the play I have the most to complain about. The woman who wrote the book that the play is based on, Barbara Ehrenteich, is married to a union organizer, she's worked with ACORN, the SEIU, and is really really concerned with gender inequality and economic inequality. In short, she's a threat to good Republicans everywhere.

Gee whiz.

Last year the theater department brought on lefty lefty leftist left-winger Luis Valdez. They had him bash Sheriff Joe and bash Republicans and bash SB 1070, and they had him talk a little bit about theater, too. This year they're producing a play, Nickle and Dimed, that's straight-up communist propaganda.

What's going on? Is anyone criticizing the theater department's hyper-political, hyper-liberal play selection but me? There's a bunch of young, impressionable college students (not to mention publicly-subsidized college students) who are genuinely interested in theater. They arrive at NAU's doorstep eager for knowledge, eager for direction, eager for enlightenment, and what do they find lurking behind the theater's dark curtains? Leftist political indoctrination! Moral degradation!

These 18-year-olds and 19-year-olds want to be actors, they want to be directors, they want careers. They're not paying tens of thousands of dollars in tuition and fees to be indoctrinated with liberalism! The Theater Department might as well host an Occupy Flagstaff rally, inspired by the stupid and dangerous Occupy Wall Street movement. The professors might as well make the students chant "Income Equality Now" at the steps of Flagstaff city hall!

The production of Nickle and Dimed is an outrage. America is the greatest country on Earth. There is more social mobility here than anywhere else. There are more opportunities to fulfill your dreams here than in any other country. This is a blessed land, and to have cowardly theater professors produce anti-American plays while coolly sipping lattes and enjoying their cozy tenure infuriates me. I encourage anybody reading this to write a letter to the NAU Theatre department voicing your concerns with the play's controversial content. You can send a letter to: Department of Theatre / PO Box 6040 / Building 37/Room 120 / Flagstaff, Arizona 86011. Or you can email them at Your voice, small though it may be, can make a difference.

A Bonus Project - Puppets

I have no idea what they're going to do with puppets... but even a socially/fiscally/national defense conservative like myself has to admit... puppets are pretty cool. I'd pay to see this show. Hopefully the puppets will recite the Lord's Prayer and/or Paul Revere's Ride by Longfellow. But it's more likely that the folks who pull the strings will put on a interpretive dance inspired by the Communist Manifesto.

Dancing at Lughnasa by Brian Friel

I've never heard of this play before, (which isn't surprising because I'm an uncultured factory-working suburbanite these days) but I learned from reading the blurb that the play is set in Ireland. Is it just me, or does the NAU theater department have a preoccupation with Ireland? Check this out. The department recently produced The Cripple of Inishmaan, which was a dark Irish play about sad dark Irish people, a woman on the faculty is named Darby, another woman on the faculty has a last name that starts with the letters "M" and "c," which are immediately followed by a capitol letter, and now here we find that the NAU theatre department fixation with all things Irish has not yet been satiated. They're doing another play set in Ireland.

I wanted to get an idea of the moral content of this play, so I could pass the information on to you, my dear readers, so I went to a website called "Movieguide: the family guide to movies and entertainment," which is a movie-review site from a Christian perspective, and I found a review for a film adaption of Dancing at Lughnasa. I found this:

"Mild Christian worldview with Christian prayers & familial love, but strong anti-Christian content including an insane priest who loves African pagan practices & a bitter, puritanical home leader"

I won't be seeing what other "strong anti-Christian content" the play has to offer, fortunately, since I will not be attending the play.

Arsenic and Old Lace by Joseph Kesselring

Now here's a great play the whole family can enjoy. I've only seen this play performed once, and it was a dreadful high school production. But Arsenic and Old Lace is a guaranteed crowd-pleaser, an American theater staple, and I've heard it can be done very well. Good play selection, NAU theatre! It's almost as good as A Christmas Carol, which, to NAU's credit, they produced a few years ago. Unfortunately, these types of plays- the plays that promote the goodness of Western Civilization and Christianity- are too few and far between.)

Love Letters by A R Gurney

This sounds like a play I'd like to see. Yeah, this one sounds really neat. Though, if I were to oppose NAU's selection of the play on moral grounds, I would say that Love Letters romanticizes marital infidelity. And that's a bad thing. It sells tickets, for sure, but it's still a bad thing.


Saturday, October 1, 2011

Herman Cain = DEMON CAIN!!!

Herman Cain wants us to think he's Christian. That's why he says he's "Baptist."

Herman Cain wants us to think he's a nice family man. That's why he's strategically placed himself among people he calls "wife" and "children" and now even cuddly babies he calls "grandchildren." He makes sure to appear in public, grinning, with these "people".

Herman Cain wants us to believe that he can "save" America. (Only one Man can save Americans, and it isn't Mr. Herman!!!) He's trying to ascend the HOLY THRONE!!!

But what if Herman Cain is lying? What if a demon has possessed the body of Herman Cain?! Or what if Herman was a demon all along?!

Forward this, my true Christian believers, to at least 10 people before midnight tonight! That will save at least 10 souls!


1. His last name is Cain!!! Ring any bells, my fellow Bible believers?!! CAIN was from the BIBLE and CAIN was EVIL!!! He was the first murderer! God is trying to tell us something! God inspired Mr. Cain's voodoo slave ancestors to adopt "Cain" as a last name, to warn us in the modern days of the grand deciever prophesied of in the Book of Revelation! (Revelation 15:8 secret meaning:Herman Cain was born on the seventh day of the seventh month, and so Herman Cain is the personal embodiement of the seventh plague!) His followers see the signs...

2. He was the president of Godfather Pizza. Think about that name for a second. GODfather Pizza... A pizza parlor that simultaneously takes the Lord's name in vain and takes Christians view away from the real Heavenly Parlor above to their hellish pizza slices beneath... Several Christian customers of Godfather's Pizza have confirmed getting a creepy feeling in that restaurant!

3. Cain's "economic" plan to reform "taxes" is called 9-9-9. Sounds simple, nice and kinda catchy, huh? Be not decieved!!! You know what 9-9-9 is upside down? 666! That's the Mark of the Beast !!! he number of the Devil ... 666!!! We found it! It's finally here! Shout it from the mountaintops!!! Everyone who agrees with the 999 plan (code for the 666 plan) is accepting the mark of the Beast, and therefore will not be Raptured when the Rapture comes!

Forward this now, and DO NOT SUPPORT DEMON CAIN!

ADT Adopts Northstar Alarm Sneak Tactics

Dear Readers,

Last night, I got a knock on the door. It was a well-groomed young man in a white polo-shirt with an ADT logo.

“Hi, I’m Mike,” he said. “I’m a marketing director for ADT, the home security system company. In a few weeks, my sales team is going to be coming through the area, but before I send them through, I’m trying to do a local little advertising by placing one of my signs in your yard. See, I’m thinking that some of your neighbors and maybe some of the passersby s will see the sign and it will be great grassroots marketing for ADT. We’ll actually compensate you with an alarm system if you just take care of this sign for us. How many exterior doors do you have?”

Wow, this was really crazy, I thought as he stood in the doorway. That was the exact same spiel that I was taught to give on strangers’ doorsteps when I worked for Northstar Alarm Security Systems for a miserable week and a half in Nashville, Tennessee, in the summer of 2007.

(My sister said that the same thing happened to her a while back, a guy came to her door selling alarm systems, she can't remember the name of the company, and the guy used a lot of the same dialogue that Northstar Alarm people are trained to give, like, “How many cars do you think go by here a day? Hmm, I really like your yard because it’s in such a good location, and you keep it looking so nice, and if we could just place our sign in your yard that would be great advertising for our company.”)

Because of my experience working for Northstar, I knew a few things about the sales guy’s pitch:

- Mike was not a marketing director. He was a rank-and-file door-to-door salesman. He looked to be college-aged, but it’s almost October, so if he was a college student, he should have been in class… but then again, if this guy’s good at sales, and he likes it, he doesn’t have much of a reason to go to college.

- Advertising is a cover story. They really just want to sell you an alarm system.

- There would be no sales team coming through the area in the next few weeks. He was the sales guy.

- While it is true that if I bought the ADT security system right then and there, I would have gotten a big discount, ADT makes the real money from monthly monitoring service fees that would have been at least 30 bucks a month. I would have had to sign a contract that lasts for several years.

- Mike didn’t care how many exterior doors I had. The system would cost the same if I had 1 exterior door or 7 exterior doors. And it’s not like if I had too many doors, or too few doors, the system wouldn’t work for my house, or I wouldn’t be a suitable ADT advertiser. I can’t think of any legitimate reason why the sales guy should know how many exterior doors I have! The only reason he asked the question is to get my mind off the price, to get my mind where he wanted it. He wanted to get me answering questions. He wanted to start a conversation that would end with me signing a contract.

Maybe I should have went along with the sales pitch for a little while longer, but that would have been meaner than what I did. When he finally gave me a chance to speak when he asked me how many exterior doors I had, I just said “I’m not interested.” And then I told him that I did the same thing that he was doing a few years ago, and I said it was horrible, and he chuckled. And I told him that we were taught the same dialogue that he was using. He didn’t seem surprised. I don’t know if he was happy or not.

I didn’t mean to be condescending, but I thought I should be honest and forthcoming to the ADT salesguy. I hope I didn't come off as rude. See, I’ve made a vow to myself not to be rude to salespeople who go door to door, because I know how miserable that job can be.

But I’ve also made a vow to myself to never buy anything from a door to door salesperson. If I want something, I’ll research it and then go buy it. Oh, maybe I’d buy Girl Scout cookies or something trivial and tasty like that... but I don’t think Girl Scouts go door to door selling cookies anymore. It’s a different world, you know, what with all the criminals and creeps everywhere.

I wasn’t angry that the ADT salesperson came to my door. I respect Mike. He was just trying to make a living. He was just participating in righteous capitalism.