Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Some of my old artwork

Dear Readers,

Here's a bunch of drawings and paintings I've done. Some of them are from my high school art classes, and some of them I just did on my own for fun. These are all at least 8 years old. I don't paint or draw much anymore, but I think I'd like to get back into it.




This is a painting of my closet in my bedroom when I was younger. My closet had boxes of canned wheat, an acoustic guitar that I tried to learn for about a month, a bright red tie, a white church shirt, a big green coat that I think was corduroy, and, well, you can see some of the other things I had in there.


Oh, I was deeply intellectual when I was a teenager. I was fiercely serious. My art was so important. Sometimes I wish I had the same creative drive now that I had back when I drew this picture. I remember precisely the moment when a part of the creative drive left me... it was one of the big failures and/or disapointments of my life. It was the summer after I graduated from high school, and I tried to put together a play with some of my friends and associates. The play was called Jack and Arnold, you can read it here, and it was about a man and his talking goat friend. The man and the goat had adventures. They got into mischief.
Well, anyway, I tried to be the producer, the director, the star, the stage designer and stage manager... I really believed in the play... I had a few people on board... we were going to put it on in the park one day... we had a few rehearsals... but none of us had money, and none of us had cars, unless we borrowed them from our parents, and there were a lot of conflicting schedules, and actually the play was really bad, (but I think teenagers would like it, maybe...) and some of the cast members had summer jobs and there were conflicting schedules... and anyway... let's just say that the project died in preproduction. And when Jack and Arnold died, a little bit of me died with it.
Oh my gosh, I'm being so dramatic, almost as dramatic as the above purple and orange chalk drawing.

A still life from high school art class. That was a real cow skull we drew. I think schools nowadays need more cow skulls.

Oh what wonders scissors, multi-colored construction paper, and a glue stick can produce!




I don't really get this one.



I think the term for this style of painting is monochromatic. I started with orange paint, and then mixed it with only either black or white paint.



This is trying to be tessellation. I don't know if it really is. For really good tessellation artwork, see M. C. Escher's stuff.

This is a picture of Telemoonfa crushing evil businessmen. (I had a very dumb attitude about businessmen and Wal-Mart and stuff like that when I was a teenager. Thank goodness now I've seen the light of capitalism, conservatism, and the entrepreneurial spirit.) You see, once upon a time Telemoonfa was not only my online codename, but a character in silly comic books I drew called "Particle X Warrior." Telemoonfa was a big green blob, and he was some kind of deity or supernatural creature. All Telemoonfa ever says is "Bloopdiewhoop!" and he has those little guys with the red heads that worship him all the time.

It's a sexy glowing newt or something.


This is done with construction paper, cut and pasted.

Chalk, pen. I remember spraying hair spray over the chalk drawings so the chalk wouldn't smear. Spraying the hair spray was fun.
These people are so happy.

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa

Sunday, June 27, 2010

My Spider Thoughts!

OK guys,

I know you wanna know all about my spider thoughts!

young or preggers people: warning!

stop reading here because GROSS = NOW!

Spiders are definitely creepy-crawlies, the king of creepy-crawlies even, for serious!

Oh my gosh have you ever really looked at their legs? On the big ones it's like a gross-out forrest of hairy spikes! And then, on the small ones, it's like, BLAAGGH! their legs just fall off and their dead legs are everywhere- uber tacky I know - that's why I never even ever want to think about spider legs even!

Like one time I thought it was an eyelash, so I picked it up to look at it all up-close to see if it got my Mascara application certification aprooval but really it was a daddy-long-leg thigh!

So I barfed all over myself it was so gross!

And did you know that when they look at you they look at you with seventeen eyes? Can you just imagine all those little eyeballs, all seventeen, all looking at you at once?! You could be doing nothing, like, just whatever, you know? and then little do you know that deep in the depths of a dark dark corner, is lurking an EYEBALL SPIDER-BEAST!

And he's just looking at you!

Blaghhh!!!

and he's staring at you, just waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and he breathes like cooooo-paaahhh coooo-paaaah and you don't even know he's there but he just keeps waiting and waiting and breathing and breathing until just the right moment when out of nowhere the freak

jumps in your face

and

put his webs inside of you!

OK it's never happened to me but that's what all spiders want to do! They just want to put their webs inside of people, like in their noses or ears when they jump all over your face -- I think it's like a reproduction thing because they wanna have spider-slash-human babies with you!

and I wish I could squish spiders dead (like the heel of a high heel straight bam in the spider face!) but barf barf puke you know what I mean? like that's so sick I can't even go there! Not even in my mind, even!

So that's why I make Daddy buy husky bug-killer-men to spray their death beams all around everywhere I go in the world!

Insect death beams sprayed forever all over = me, spider free!

OK, that's all for now but just remember that I love you enough to share my deep inner-inner thoughts with you because I hate it when people aren't real, you know, like when people are all fake? I hate that. But you're real, I can tell, and that's why I love you with all the love from the whole everything of my heart!

The Fall of Icky Norf (an extract from the Book of Yath)

Fourteen Schlecken Sweepers full of flapping
arrive pundaciously in the mud-jax ships.

Needle-fish abounding, soaring, crickets shouting,
sea-shore jom-joms dimly understanding on the bliffy shore
kneeling, looking, reaching to the elders,
to the elder elders, then to Ratchenblurger himself.

The Jom-Jom Chief says nothing.
He hides beneath his Tooble
and franticly he doodles the story of his life.

Hushington Worms, the spear-bearing kind,
swivver and sliv upon the hinky-tinky town,
leaving their dust factories desolate.
The Worms dance, unrestrained from drinking
their three thousand bottles of madberry juice.

It is dusk. The vibrations are terrible.

The Sweepers storm the shore,
gorthablobbers tucked tightly in their hoshy-toshers.

The Sweepers begin their sweeping.
They kill all the snookers
they kill all the mips
they kill all the yips
they kill all the flower-hoppers
they kill all the creatures in goonty suits
they kill all the sander-men, who once waved their swashers
they kill all the Jabbits
they kill all the Yar-bits
they kill all the snapper-kings
they kill all the Snoobs that sell sniffing-gems
they kill all the residents of the Hall of Bath
they kill all that breathe.

The sea town falls silent.

The Sweepers move west to the Great
Mountains of Gorth-Gar-akin

Thus ends the the history of Icky Norf.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

An Interview with Jeff Smith




Dear Readers,

About a week ago I had some family and friends over to my house for a Meet and Greet with Jeff Smith. It was a real pleasure to have Jeff Smith over. He is a very great, passionate speaker. I hope you get the chance to hear what he has to say and see first hand why he'll be a better Representative than Jeff Flake.

During the Meet and Greet, I conducted an informal interview, and I tape-recorded it, and I just finished typing most of it up so I could put it on Telemoonfa Time.


The text has been slightly altered to make it all smooth and flowy. If you’ve ever transferred a large chunk of spoken text to written text, you know what I mean. Also, some of the unimportant parts have been cut out. Enjoy.


[Editor’s note- here’s a little context to introduce the transcript. Jeff Smith asked me what I was going to do with the recording of our interview. I said I was going to type it up and put it on my blog. He said what’s your blog called. I said it was Telemoonfa Time. He said, “Oh, you’re Telemoonfa?” and I said yeah.]


Telemoonfa: Yeah, I write about you on my blog. I hope nothing that I’ve written about you has been, like-


Smith: I don’t think so. Look, I love it when people take their own initiative and truly it’s nothing that I’ve instigated. I didn’t put anyone up to it. People of their own accord want to write something about me, I think it’s great. It’s better than if it came from my own campaign blog.


Telemoonfa: Right, yeah. I hope there are a lot of readers on Telemoonfa Time, mostly for my own narcissistic reasons, but I also appreciate getting the word out about Jeff Smith and conservative values.


Smith: Thank you.
Telemoonfa: OK, so I think everyone’s met you pretty much. I have a few questions, and feel free to artfully dodge them, if you want to.
Smith: Doesn’t that go without saying? [laughs]


Telemoonfa: [laughs] Right, yeah.


Smith: Don’t I always have that option?


Telemoonfa: Yes, you do. I’ve divided my questions into three segments. The first segment is called “Getting to Know Jeff Smith,” the second segment is called “On the Issues,” and the third segment is called “The Two Jeffs.” So the first segment is “Getting to Know Jeff Smith.” Where are you from, and where are some of the places that you’ve lived?


Smith: Right now I live in Gilbert. I’ve lived there for seven years. It’s the longest I’ve lived anywhere in my life. I’ve moved around, as fate would have it, quite a bit, and we love it here. With what I do, I’m a stock and options investor, and I could do that from anywhere, and we choose to make Gilbert our home, and we love it. We’re very involved in church there. My kids have a lot of good friends and for the most part, we’re pleased with the schools there, and so that’s our home. I was born in San Diego. My Dad was in the Navy. He was in the nuclear submarine program under Admiral Rickover. We moved around. Hawaii, Washington, back to San Diego when he was in the Navy, but he did not make a career out of it. He was a family man, and being on a submarine for four months or six months at a time was not really conducive to raising a family, or his idea of family life, so he got out. His job took us out to the east. We lived in Connecticut for a while. I lived overseas in Narobi Kenya. That’s where I graduated from high school. From the International School of Kenya.


Telemoonfa: So you’re a Kenyan?


Smith: [laughs] No, I have a US birth certificate. I was born in Balboa Naval hospital in San Diego and I’m happy to show my birth certificate to anybody. In my own career we moved around a bit as well. I was talking about how I worked for Lucent Technologies for a while. That took us over to Bangkok Thailand, where my youngest daughter was born. We’ve had a couple of opportunities to live and work overseas, and they were fabulous experiences, but they also really helped me gain a special appreciation for this country and for the blessings that we enjoy as Americans.


Telemoonfa: Great. What kind of education do you have?


Smith: I got an economics degree from BYU and then worked at a bank for a few years and then went back and got my MBA from Business School Emory University in Atlanta Georgia, and focused more on marketing, but it was marketing, finance, and a lot of general business stuff.


Telemoonfa: I’ll just point out now, because I might forget it later, that I find it really interesting that you majored in economics and you got a Master’s of Business Administration, whereas Jeff Flake majored in political science. I think that’s an important distinction for us all to remember, because, one’s kind of career oriented outside of politics, and one’s kind of career oriented inside of politics. I think that usually the business majors and the economic majors are a little more level-headed and realistic and practical than, say, the guys I hung out with, the English and drama students, and the political science students. I also knew a lot of people in the political science department at Northern Arizona University, and a lot of them leaned to the left, especially a lot of professors. So I think your education is a great selling point that you have.


Smith: Thank you. As best I can tell, Jeff Flake has never had a job in the private sector. He was over in Africa, doing what I’m sure was noble work, but it wasn’t competing in the marketplace, and he came back and he was director of the Goldwater Institute. Again, a fine organization, but that’s not what I would consider a private sector experience. He wasn’t competing in the marketplace.


Telemoonfa: Hmmm… I sort of covered question 3. I have a lot of questions. I’m going to have to hurry up. You have a lot of experience working in the private sector, tell us a little bit about that experience.


Smith: I worked for a bank, and then out of grad school I went to work for AT&T and Lucent Technologies and so I’ve got international experience in the wireless telecommunications industry. I was there for the good times and the bad. When the bottom fell out of the telecom industry, it became apparent to me that this was not going to be a career for me after all. At one point I thought that I could spend my whole career there. But that’s when we came out to Arizona and I co-founded a financial advisory firm. That was a big change. New industry. New state, new career, new everything. But I was a partner in a financial advisory firm and that was a legitimate small business where we had employees, and we had to worry about cash flow and being profitable and making payroll and growing the business. So, from both of those, the big company experience and the small company experience, I gained a real appreciation for the kind of environment we need, the political regulatory environment, that is hospitable to economic growth, and to job creation and wealth creation. That’s what we’re so lacking right now. The policies that are being pursued in Washington are so wrong headed. They’re taking us in exactly the wrong direction. They’re trying to get more and more government involvement, more and more, you know, command and control, centrally planned economy kind of stuff. I just think that’s the wrong way to go.


Telemoonfa: What political figures, historical or modern, inspire you, and why?


Smith: I love James Madison, the father of the Constitution. I can’t say I know every detail of his life, but he was the guy who basically gave- he was the principal architect of the Constitution, and of the Bill Rights, and he was well-schooled in some of the guys like John Locke and Montesquieu. Our Founding Fathers borrowed heavily from these guys. And that was so important. When they wrote the Constitution- I call it a radical experiment that’s been wildly successful. Never had a country based on the idea of such limited authority for the central government, and given so much power and authority for self-determination to the people, and it was huge. And that’s what I think we need to get back to. We’ve gone so far a field from that.


Telemoonfa: It’s really great to hear people talking that way about the Founders. What political books and publications inspire you, and why?


Smith: Gosh, there’s a lot. I’ll tell you, I love Ann Coulter. I read Anne Coulter. I think she’s brilliant. I think she’s willing to say things like they are when so many out there are worried about political correctness. Telemoonfa: She’s kind of sassy sometimes. Smith: She’s sassy, yeah, but that aside... until recently I was a big fan of Newt Gingrich. But there’s some things about Newt Gingrich that kind of bother me lately. I think the guy’s very smart. Dinesh Dsouza. He wrote “What’s so Great About America,” and he wrote “What’s so Great About Christianity.” And both of those are very good. He’s one that’s more willing to take on the social issues.


Telemoonfa: What is the job description of a Representative? In other words, what does a Representative do?


Smith: I know that you have to show up to vote, you have to research and understand the bills that are presented to you. At a higher level, a Representative representatives the people of his district. Representatives are popularly elected. Of course Senators now are also, but that wasn’t originally the case. That was not the intention of the Founding Fathers. Do you guys all know about the Seventeenth Amendment? Before the Seventeenth Amendment in 1913, Senators were not popularly elected; they were appointed by the state legislatures. That was intentional. The Founding Fathers put that in place as another safeguard for states’ rights. Since 1913, Senators have been popularly elected. They still have six year terms, which I think is awfully long. They’re accountable to the people like the Representatives are, but they’re no longer, you know, so much looking out for states’ rights and I really think that’s kind of upset the balance of power between state government and federal government, as was intended originally. Representatives run for reelection every two years, which is awfully quick. So if you don’t like your representative, you don’t have to put up with him for very long. Popular elections and frequent reelections I think really holds Representatives accountable. Or it should. That being said, there’s a lot of Representatives that have been there for thirty, forty years even though they have to run for reelection every two years.
Telemoonfa: A lot of times when people ask politicians about their beliefs and opinions about things, the politicians don’t really have the power to do anything about a lot of stuff.
Smith: That’s a good point. I’d just like to say that I am careful not to try to over-promise. I’m not so delusional to think that I can single-handedly turn back this growth in the size and scope of government. That’s what I stand for. That’s what I believe in. That’s what I will work for. But you’re going to have to send me and a lot of people like me to Washington and then as a group we can actually start to do that. And I’m encouraged by what I’ve seen across the country this year. I think a lot of folks like me you know, small government, free-market types will get elected and those are the guys that I need to become buddies with, and as a group I think we can really make a difference.


Telemoonfa: That ends segment one, “Getting to Know Jeff Smith.” Now it’s time for segment two, “On the Issues.” What will you do as a representative to create more jobs and boost the economy?


Smith: I think the best thing we can do is create an environment hospitable to economic growth. We need to make sure that the rule of law is in place, where contracts can be entered into and enforced, so business can take place in an orderly fashion, so people can trust that their counter parties will hold to their commitment. Then we need an environment where private property rights are protected. We need free market capitalism. I think the incentives that are there in a free market capitalist system are very powerful, where people are free to invest their own time and money and sweat into a business that they think and hope will be profitable. We need to give them the freedom to pursue that, of course within the bounds of what’s ethical and legal. But beyond that, let them pursue their fortune, and if and when they achieve it, let them keep it. Don’t try and appropriate it, don’t try to take it away, don’t try to spread the wealth. They worked for it. They earned it. They get to keep it. That’s private property rights. On the other hand, if they aren’t successful, they need to be allowed to fail, because too many times government intervention is there intended to shield people from the consequences of their poor decisions or irresponsible behavior. If people are allowed to behave irresponsibly in pursuit of riches, and yet not face the consequences, that creates what we call moral hazard. The opportunity to fail creates a powerful check against irresponsible behavior. So people need to be allowed to keep what they make when they’re successful. They also need to be allowed to fail as well. That’s what happened in the whole housing crisis, the mortgage industry, right? The very existence of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac is basically the government saying “We’re going to put our good housekeeping stamp of approval on whatever mortgage you decide to make.” Well, people figured out, “Guess what? I can make a lot of money lending money with abandon, to whoever, regardless of their ability to pay or not. And guess what, if these people can’t repay, I’m not the one left holding the bag.” That’s the root cause of all this reckless lending that took place and guess what happened. The bottom fell out of the housing market, all these people defaulted, and we, the taxpayers, are picking up the tab. Meanwhile, all those guys that made all that money, they’re able to keep it. Was there greed involved? Sure. But they were only responding, they were acting in their own self interest, and they had figured out the system, that there was a safety net there. So it works both ways.


Telemoonfa: How do you feel- well, I was going to say, “How do you feel about taxes,” but we sort of already covered that.


Smith: Cut them.


Telemoonfa: Yeah.


Smith: I don’t like them. Go to a fair tax. Get rid of the income tax.


Telemoonfa: I went to one of your campaign organizing meetings, and I saw a sneak preview of a pamphlet, and part of the pamphlet was devoted to comparing you and Jeff Flake. Jeff Flake, it seems like Jeff Flake has been pretty good at cutting earmarks and fighting earmarks. And every month or something, maybe it’s even every week, he has his egregious earmark of the week, and it’s pretty cutesy. But, really earmarks are only 1 % of the budget and social security, Medicare and Medicaid and Obamacare pretty soon and other entitlements – the entitlements are the bigger giants that we need to concentrate on more, right?


Smith: Much more.
Telemoonfa: So we spend the most money on social security, Medicare and Medicaid, and other entitlements-


[a guy leaves (because he had to go to work, not because he wasn't enjoying himself.)]


Smith: Thank you for coming. If you like what you hear, take a yard sign and drop a check in the donation bucket. I need to raise money guys. I’m sorry if that sounds crass, but that’s part of the deal.


Telemoonfa: Yeah. I just want to say, the first time I ever donated to a political campaign in my life was to Jeff Smith’s campaign. I gave Jeff Smith twenty-five dollars.


Smith: Yeah, you did. Just the other day. I appreciate that.


Telemoonfa: You’re welcome. That’s how much I believe in him. I’m upset when I hear about politicians who get dirty money, and so I know that if I’m giving a politician a little bit of money, that’s clean money.


Smith: Yeah, that’s the cleanest money, money coming from individuals, not unions, not PACs, it’s not any of those other special interests.


Telemoonfa: Yeah, so, if you like what you hear, please do make a donation to Jeff Smith’s campaign. So, like I was saying, Jeff Flake rails against earmarks a lot to look like conservative and to keep his constituents a little bit happy, I suppose. But really I don’t think he’s done much to fix social security, Medicare and Medicaid, and other entitlements programs that are like 60 % of our budget.


Smith: That’s about right. Defense tends to be another 20 % - 25 % and then everything else makes up the remaining 15 % or so. Then earmarks are 1 %, maybe less.


Telemoonfa: For the most part, earmarks are bad and we should fight them.


Smith: I am opposed to wasteful government spending as anyone, including Jeff Flake, but I appreciate you giving us some context, and putting stuff into perspective. Jeff Flake has taken principled stands generally against wasteful spending, and I have no problem with that. Now, I don’t think we can say that he’s been very successful. Despite all his efforts, pork barrel spending continues. Now I will say in his defense, if you’re the only guy out there in Congress, it’s hard to stop that.


Telemoonfa: But I also think maybe it might cross his mind that if he votes no when nearly everybody else votes yes, that allows him to look good, without him actually effecting any change. I think if it was a close vote, he would think a little bit harder about the way he was voting, but if he knows that a bill is going to pass overwhelmingly, then he knows that he can vote no and look good. But the cap and trade vote was very close. Very close. And he didn’t show up.


Smith: Didn’t show up at all. That was the thing that first got my attention and I said, “This guy is not the good conservative that I thought he was and that everybody else seems to think he is.” Then when I learned that he’s also proposed his own carbon tax bill, a bill that will impose an increase in tax on carbon for the next thirty years, I went, “Wow, he really has gone off the reservation and bought in to the whole idea that CO2 is a pollutant that must be reduced and regulated and taxed.”


Telemoonfa: I’ll just skip ahead to that question since you’re on it.


Smith: Well you brought up the cap and trade vote.


Telemoonfa: Right. Yeah. OK. Global warming. Is it real? If it is real, what, if anything, should we do about it?


Smith: Global warming may or may not be real. I don’t know. Man-made global warming I do not believe is real at all. I think it’s a total hoax. I think it’s a progressive social agenda masquerading as science. Frustrated leftists needed a place to go after the Cold War, and they found a home in environmentalism. In environmentalism they found a cause so compelling and grandiose, that well-meaning people are apparently willing to abdicate critical individual liberties on behalf of this grand cause. “Save the planet.” Well, if it’s for the planet, then OK, I will allow you to dictate the kind of light bulbs that I can have in my house, and I’ll sort through my trash on a weekly basis, and I’ll buy the hybrid car. And that’s all well and good, and if that makes people feel good, then, fine, go for it. But I believe that the leadership of the environmental movement has been hijacked by people who truly do not have the best interest of the planet at heart. They found a way to control the people. Wow. If we say that something is in the name of saving the planet, people will do whatever we tell them to do, or ask them to do, right? That’s my problem. Look. I’m all for clean water and clean air. That enhances my standard of living. But the environmental movement has gone so far beyond that.


Mystery Guest: And I think also, you look at the people who believe in man-made global warming, and they don’t really have that much of a science background. I didn’t major in science, but I know enough about it and I like it, you know. But I mean, just to cool this house- it takes a lot of energy to cool something like this. Man-made effects have very little to do with something of the size of the Earth- a volcano erupting puts out more CO2 then the whole world combined for I don’t know how many years.


Smith: Water vapor is like 97 % of the greenhouse gasses. We could eliminate all CO2 emissions, which of course would put us back to an agrarian economy. We’re all out there having our mules pull plows, and we’re sewing our own clothes and growing our own food, and we’re still not do anything to reduce greenhouse gasses. It would be a drop in the bucket. These people want to convince us that C02 is a horrible, horrible thing, and they’re able to get people to march in lock step with what they say. And that, to me, is the most dangerous part of Flake’s carbon tax proposal. He thinks he’s being cute. He said we’re going to put a tax on carbon and then we’re going to have a commensurate decrease in payroll taxes, so that the measure would be revenue neutral. Now, decreasing payroll taxes, I’m fine with. I think that’s a good idea. But why would you do anything that’s revenue neutral? You’re not raising taxes, you’re not lowering taxes. The whole thing is stupid. You’re just changing what you’re taxing. And he’s on record as saying, “If you want less of something, you tax it,” which I agree with. If you want more of something, you reduce taxes or eliminate the taxes. He’s right. Well, he’s basically saying, “we’re going to tax carbon, because we want less of it.” Why? You don’t propose such a measure, unless you’ve bought in to the whole man-made global warming hype. And that is dangerous, because that opens the door wide open for the federal government to come in and start regulating every aspect of our lives that involves energy usage. They can start telling us how many miles a year we can drive our cars. I can just see them putting together their whole chart. Down on the left side is all the cars that are out on the road, and on the right side is the annual mileage allotment, and if you’ve got a Prius, well, you can drive 14,000 miles a year. If you have a Suburban, only 6,000 miles a year. I’m not saying this is what they have, but I can guarantee you they’re coming up with these types of things, and things much more Draconian than that. That’s the least of the crazy things I can see these environmentalists dreaming up all because we have legitimized the idea that CO2 is a pollutant. I can hear Nancy Pelosi saying, “We’ve got bi-partisan support for carbon reduction legislation because a conservative like Jeff Flake has actually proposed his own carbon tax.” That to me is the most frightening thing. And I haven’t even talked about the terrible effect it will have on our economy. The rise in our electricity rates. The cost of gasoline. It will kill jobs. It will raise the cost of living for families. It will be horrible. And then there’s the whole New World Order global government aspect to it. A lot of people believe it. I think there’s some legitimate concern there that through carbon reduction we’re going to essentially ultimately eliminate the sovereignty of the United States and we’re all going to fall under one global government. Something that used to be a crazy conspiracy theory a few years ago, I don’t think it’s so crazy anymore. Stuff that I thought was crazy nutcase thinking a few years ago that are now the law of the land today, like socialized healthcare. So I don’t let anyone roll their eyes at me anymore and say, “Oh, you’re just exaggerating. That’s just hyperbole. Oh, that would never happen.”


[Some Mystery Guests talk for a while about global warming, socialism in Europe, "free" school lunches, etc.]


Mystery Guest: That’s probably one of my biggest desires. I want to change the mindset of Congress from providing people things, back to just equal opportunity.


Smith: Equal opportunity rather than equal outcome. Absolutely.


Mystery Guest: That’s what I want out of anybody who represents me.


Smith: Well you got it here. This experiment in socialism- in trying to equalize outcome for people has been tried and tried over and over again throughout history, in many different countries. You never find an ideology with such an unblemished record of abject failure. Socialism never has worked. It never will work. And we’ve got these radicals in our government today insisting that they’re going to send us in that direction, and we need to try this experiment in socialism one more time. Somehow, “this time it’s going to work.” It’s insane.


Telemoonfa: Amen. Alright. Next question. Education. I was a teacher for a year. [pointing at a Mystery Guest] He was a teacher for a few years. We’ve seen some of the problems in funding. I’ve seen a lot of the problems. One of the things I wanted to harrumph about- I don’t know if I’m using that word right. I’ll edit that out. [laughter] All that excessive money that’s spent on excessive technology on schools I think is a little too much. And the company that I work for now, we make the best 3D movie screens in the world. Well, a guy who claimed to represent a whole bunch of schools claimed that he wanted to buy a whole bunch of really nice 3D movie screens for every school in America, and so it’d be great for our business, but those things are so expensive, and they’ve already got enough screens in schools.


Smith: Are kids going to learn better in 3D than in 2D?


[laughter, smiles]


Telemoonfa: What would you do as a Representative to help education?


Smith: My goal is to get the federal government out of education. I’m not going to give you some 18-point plan on how to fix education. My goal is to abolish the Department of Education, cut the taxes that fund that behemoth, that huge bureaucracy , let’s keep that money here in the states, and let the states manage education. Some may say, “Cut the federal department of education? He must hate education.” No. I’m a big fan. My kids go to public schools. The question is simply, who should be in charge? Who should be managing education? Should it be this monolithic bureaucracy in Washington D.C. taking all the tax dollars, and then doling the money back to the states, only as long as they comply with No Child Left Behind? No. That money should stay here. Get the federal government out of education completely and let the states, or even a more local level, quite frankly, but I’m running for a federal office. I can only do so much. But my goal would be to get the federal government out of it. As a general rule, I would like to push decision making authority as close to the people as is possible. Now you can’t do that for everything. That’s why we have state government. That’s why we need a federal government. I’m not for anarchy. I’m for the federal government doing those things that’s it’s supposed to do. Have the federal government stick to the enumerated powers in articles one, two, and three, and that’s all they do. Everything else, per the tenth amendment, should go to the states. That’s how the Founders intended it. That’s how it should still be today.


Mystery Guest: I hope if you do get elected you can get rid of a lot of government subsidies. I think with energy, it’s not fair to subsidize wind and solar and tax oil and gas. Either subsidize all forms of energy, or subsidize none of them.


Smith: I agree. You know, there’s a lot of good reasons for trying to get us off of oil, certainly off of foreign oil. From a national security standpoint, I agree with that. I am very concerned about overreaction to the big oil spill, you know, shutting down all off-shore oil drilling, that’s only going to make us more dependent on foreign oil. I would love for some entrepreneur, some smart person working out of their garage to figure out a way to make solar and wind economically viable. I hope they do it. I hope they commercialize it. I hope they become obscenely rich doing it. Because we will all benefit from that. The idea that solar and wind aren’t economically viable because we haven’t put enough federal dollars into it is crazy to me. They’ve been studying solar and wind for decades. Since at least the sixties, right? At some point you bump up against the laws of physics. If it’s not economically viable, it’s just not. And I’m not interested in continuing to pour more and more tax dollars down the wind and solar drain. If something is going to work, smart people in the private sector are going to identify that. The personal computer didn’t need a whole bunch of federal dollars in order to get that thing off the ground. Smart people figured it out. They took the risk with their own money and equity and time and effort and they made that thing viable. And yeah, people have gotten rich from that. And I’m glad they did. Because we all benefit from it. Because every house now has three personal computers and they’ve dramatically changed the way we live our lives. That’s how this is supposed to work. I would hope that wind and solar would follow suit. But right now, and I don’t claim to be an expert, but these things aren’t ready for prime time. They are not anywhere close to being able to provide the energy needs of this country. Unless the environmentalists have their way and we all go back to an agrarian society, reading by candlelight and cooking over an open flame, well then, maybe yeah, solar will do the trick for what we need. But I’m not interested in going back to that kind of lifestyle.


Mystery Guest: One of my father’s best friends and business associates was in an oil company in California, and this guy made a lot of money. But he also diversified into a lot of other things. Roofing, tile, he went into paper, you name it, graphite, anything that he could branch out and do. Because he had a lot of money, he was able to go into a lot of different things and find out ways to make more. The entire time I knew him he was after a battery, he was after wind, he was after solar, anything, geothermal, anything he could take money from besides oil. He spent a lot of effort, money and energy, taking new energy from anything but oil. If it were profitable, he would be doing it now. If it was out there, and it could be sold, he’d be buying it. But it’s not there. They haven’t figured out how to make a battery that would run forever and that you could run your car off of. It’s just not feasible. And the more we get government in the way, the less chance we’ll ever have of figuring it out.


Smith: Right. They’re going to tell us that if we just put a few hundred million dollars into it, and we’ll get off of foreign oil. Baloney.


Mystery Guest: What do you feel your chances are of being elected?
Smith: My chances? I actually think they’re good.


Telemoonfa: I think so too.
Smith: I talk to a lot of people like you guys who get it. We’re tired and we’re scared of this huge new growth in government, and they see that Flake has become part of the problem. He’s no longer part of the solution. I know we’re going to be competitive. I really do think we can win. I don’t think it’s going to be easy. I’m having to work all day every day to get the word out that’s there is an alternative to Flake. I’ll tell you what when I give speeches, when I go to some of these groups, they may or may not love my message- well most of them do, but even if they don’t, they love the idea that for the first time in six years Republicans in this district have a choice. I’m just too dumb to know that Jeff Flake can’t be beat, you know what I mean? That’s why I went ahead and got my name on the ballot. But I actually know that he can be beat.


Telemoonfa: Oh yeah. Definitely he can. Now, McCain should accept the invitation by JD Hayworth to debate, and you have- have you formally challenged Flake to a debate?


Smith: I have not formally, but we’re going to. We’re going to very soon. I’m going to send him a letter, and formally challenge him to a debate.


Telemoonfa: Has he challenged you?
Smith: Oh no, that’s the last thing he wants. But other groups, I know, have contacted him and said, “We want to invite you to a debate with Jeff Smith,” and he has so far, declined.


[Editor’s Note: It looks like there will be a Flake and Smith debate afterall! On July 24th at high noon! Additional details forthcoming.]


Telemoonfa: I don’t mean to do personal attacks, but Jeff Flake seems kind of vain to me. He has the brand new iPad, by the way. He has all the new cool gadgets. He spent a week alone on an island and took pictures of himself with his shirt off looking all hunky. I’m not making this up. Congress was in session or something, and he said, “I just wanted to get away,” and he wanted to live like Robinson Crusoe or something and he kept a diary and he published it on the Internet, to show everybody.


Smith: Well, he took pictures- it was just him with a tripod and a great camera and then ended up sending the pictures to the Washington Post. What’s interesting is he missed the cap and trade vote because he said, “Well, I couldn’t disappoint my family.” His daughter had the beauty pageant, right? Well, those pageants last all week. And in fact he could have cast his vote against cap and trade – I hope so – he says he would have voted against it. But then he’s proposed his own carbon tax so who knows. He could have still done that and then been down there in Mobile Alabama the next night to support his daughter. Look, I’m a family guy. I understand you want to support your daughter. That sounds like it was a big deal for her. But he actually could have done both. The point is, he hid behind his family obligations as an excuse for missing the cap and trade vote, yet the next opportunity he had to be home for a week and be with his family and have town hall meetings, he took off to a deserted island, and took bare-chested photos of himself that made their way into the Washington Post.


Mystery Guest: What would you do if they plopped down a 2,000 page bill and asked you to vote on it? Would you read it? Or what would you do?


Smith: I actually propose a constitutional litmus test. Any piece of legislation, or frankly any existing law, bureaucracy, department, program, whatever, the first question I’ll ask myself is, “Is this a proper role for the federal government to fill?” Whether it’s 2 pages or 10 pages or 2,000 pages. If it’s not a proper role for the federal government to fill, like socialized healthcare, I don’t know that I’d even need to read all 2,000 pages. No. I don’t want the federal government involved in things that they’re not supposed to be involved in.


Mystery Guest: Would you vote yes without reading it?


Smith: No, I would not vote yes without reading it. Absolutely not.


Mystery Guest: I think a lot of Congressmen did on that last one.


Telemoonfa: What can we do to help your campaign?


Smith: Ah, that’s the best question I’ve heard yet. [laughter] We need money. That’s how it works. Jeff Flake has a million dollars, and any time a challenger goes up a five-term incumbent, there’s a significant disadvantage financially. The truth is, I don’t need to match him dollar for dollar. I don’t need a million dollars to get the word out. The way that you win a campaign against someone that has a lot more money is through the grassroots. It’s doing stuff just like this Meet and Greet. We’ve got a lot of volunteers that we’ve attracted, and we’re putting them to work. We’re reaching out to people. And we’re asking people what they can do and saying, these are the things that we need. Host a Meet and Greet. Call people. Walk your neighborhood. Write letters to the editor. Write letters to KFYI. Write letters to Jeff Flake and demand that he debate Jeff Smith. These are all things that regular people can do that don’t cost money. The grassroots effort is highly labor intensive, but it’s not real money intensive. The grassroots and word of mouth is the most powerful and effective way of getting the word out. And what I would really like is if any of you have heard something that you agree with and think you could support, then you could host a similar Meet and Greet. Invite your friends and neighbors and in two weeks or whatever we’ll come back and we’ll do this again with another group of people. And then it’s like, they told two friends, and they told two friends, and then pretty soon the word gets out.


Sincerely,

Telemoonfa

Thursday, June 24, 2010

I stand by JD Hayworth

Dear Readers,

Maybe you've heard about JD Hayworth's infomercial appearance. There was a lot of stuff in the media about it.

Well, I'm still a JD Hayworth supporter, and I'll still be voting for him on August 24th.

Is JD Hayworth perfect? Of course not. I don't think that he should have done that infomercial. I think it was an unwise choice.

But remember that JD Hayworth is a broadcaster by trade. He was paid to be in the infomercial. It was a job. He was the spokesman for a lot of different products and companies on his radio show. This infomercial was just one of the many things he helped advertise.

Even though being on the infomercial was a bit sketchy, it was still a real job, and it was legal, and he took his paycheck and went home.

I think we should focus more on the issues and more on the records of the two candidates.

Funny how the JD Hayworth infomercial has recieved a good amount of media exposure, but here are two things that aren't getting hardly any media exposure:

1] John McCain won't debate JD Hayworth.

John McCain actually went to a fundraising event for his Arizona campaign in Washington D.C. on a night when he could have been debating J.D. Hayworth.

2] McCain's # 1 political contributor, Scott Rothstein, is spending 50 years in prison for a bunch of ponzi scheme stuff. Rothstein gave McCain 1.1 million dollars! Shouldn't that be a big story? Shouldn't that be all over the media? Hayworth has called on McCain to make retribution by returning the funds, and he's also asked McCain to at least talk about it. But McCain won't even talk about it to anyone! All McCain does is attack JD Hayworth in TV commercials (much worse than he attacked Obama) and blab on and on about fighting earmarks and building "the dang fence."

It's like all of a sudden we're supposed to believe that John McCain is a small- government conservative when he voted for the bailouts, and remember MCain-Feingold? The Supreme Court ruled it unconstitutional recently, thank goodness. But now Congress is trying to get McCain-Feingold version 2.0 installed into our elections.

Arrrggghhh!!!

Vote JD Hayworth!

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

blue out there

The tree in your yard, the brown ground,
little rocks, tire marks, look over here now,
an oil stain definitely
resembling something important,
a feeling you once had,
when you were young.
The slope of cement,
and the street meets the driveway.

Bright bright blue out there, up there.
Move your hand around.
Wave it, make circles in the air,
and look at your hand as it moves.
The sky responds to your motions,
just a little bit.

You are a marvelous force of action.

Are you buying or renting?
Have you met the new neighbors?

Trash comes on Saturdays.
Nice stroller.

And a lizard scuttles up the back yard gate.
You eat a burrito,
the same sort of burrito
you used to eat.
Remember? No? That's OK.

You drink some water.
The sun goes down.

Ruth McClung!

Dear Readers,

Last Saturday morning I went to my first Pinal County Precinct Committeeman meeting, where I had the pleasure of meeting several Republican candidates, including the remarkable Ruth McClung.

Ruth McClung is rocket scientist -really!- who’s emerged from the science lab and is now sauntering in the political arena. Her formidable foe is the thuggish and blubbery Democratic Representative Raul Grijalva.

Their gloves are coming off way down south in Tucson, in Congressional District 7, in the great state of Arizona.

Raul Grijalva is the guy who said he hopes other states and national organizations will boycott Arizona because of SB1070. And he supports universal, single-payer health care. And his supporters are unapologetic sign thieves!

But Ruth has the truth on her side, and conservative values, and family values, and a great website!

Will Ruth have you on her side?

http://www.ruth4az.com/

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa

Monday, June 21, 2010

Joel Pollak!

Dear Readers,

It’s a wonderful time to be alive. The weather tonight was wonderful. The days here in the Phoenix metropolitan area have been hot. But at night, it cools down, and it’s nice to be outside.

It’s a wonderful time to be alive because Joel Pollak is running for Congress. He’s a genius. And Alan Dershowitz, author of “The Case for Israel,” endorses Joel Pollak.

Joel has an interesting background. He’s a strict Jew, and he used to be very liberal, but now he’s involved in the tea party movement! Hooray!

Joel is so on the money, so articulate, so accomplished, so smart, so knowledgeable, so well-spoken, so confident and sharp… He plays the guitar! Now I do worry that he hasn’t had a bunch of business experience, but if he does what he says he’ll do then he can really shake up Washington.

I love my country. I love our democracy and I love our political process. It’s messy and corrupt sometimes, but it’s great to see Joel Pollak rise. It seems to me like Joel is a hero worthy of emulation. Joel is a man who is so obviously touched by the hand of God.

I like Mike Lee in Utah, too.

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Jeff Smith's coming to my house!

Dear Readers,

I have really exciting news.

Jeff Smith is coming to my house this week! I'm inviting a whole bunch of people over, (my goal is to have at least 10 people show up) and Jeff Smith is going to dazzle them all with his conservativism and charisma!

Below is the text to an invitation I'm giving out to my friends and neighbors. My personal identifying information has been changed.

**********************

You’re invited to a Meet and Greet with Jeff Smith, a candidate for the U.S. House of Representatives. He’s running against Jeff Flake in the 6th Congressional District. Come join your friends and neighbors and meet a rising conservative star! Yummy snacks will be provided!

When: Thursday morning, June 17, from 10 a.m. - noon

Where: The home of Telemoonfa, at ----------------------, near Ocotillo and Ironwood. You’ll see a Jeff Smith sign in the window of their home.

Who: Jeff Smith will be there personally to explain why he’s the best candidate in the race and to hear your concerns.

Why: to help our country get back on the right track!

This Meet and Greet is free! But contributions to Jeff Smith’s campaign are encouraged.

www.votejeffsmith2010.com

Richard Grayson!

Dear Readers,

So there’s a psychopathic Green Party guy masquerading as a legitimate politician named Richard Grayson. I wish I could tell you that Richard lives in Hollyweird, or in Communist Cuba, but the truth is, he’s very very close to us.

Very close.

Like, really really close.

Aggh!!

I see him!

He’s right outside my house!

Richard Grayson is barefoot, and swaying from side to side, and humming, and drawing peace signs in the air with his fingers (and remember that the peace sign is really a Satanic symbol- it’s an upside down broken cross!)

Hold on, let me get a closer look…

What’s that he’s got in his hand? It’s a voodoo doll! A voodoo doll made to represent Israel! And he’s poking it! Poking it violently!!!

What’s he doing now?

Now he’s singing songs by John Lennon (and not the young poppy John Lennon, but the old, naked John Lennon!)

Shhhh… now Richard Grayson is talking to some kids playing in the street. What is he doing to them? Where are the parents?

Look out!

Richard Grayson is enrolling the neighborhood children into his Green Re-Education Summer Camp! Oh no! I bet those kids won’t be learning about butterflies and petunias- they’ll be sterilized and forced to ingest hallucinogens!

Hey! Richard Grayson! Get away from those children!

Hold on, I need to quit typing for a second to go take care of business.

* * *

OK, now I’m back, and Richard Grayson is gone.

Thank goodness my next-door neighbor is an exorcist.

Oh, that Richard Grayson…

I vigorously oppose him!

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa

P.S. Let me ask you a serious question, Richard Grayson. Why are you running for office? I think you’re crazy, and I think your party’s crazy, and I think you have no chance of winning, so I don’t know why you’re running. Why don’t you just become a Democrat and try to make the Democratic Party Greener? That’s the sensible thing to do. (Oh wait, actually the really sensible thing to do would be to become a conservative Republican.)

P.P.S. There's no way I can endorse you, Richard Grayson! You're running against Jeff Smith, and I endorse Jeff Smith!

Jeff Smith! Again!

Dear Readers,

I just sent this letter to the editor in to The Arizona Republic. That would be cool if they published it.

Dear Editor,

With important elections looming, Arizonans don’t need more flashy commercials and quick propaganda. They need a thorough, lengthy examination of each candidate’s platform and history. They need debates. As a concerned voter and citizen, I’m asking John McCain to debate JD Hayworth. I’m also asking Jeff Flake to debate Jeff Smith. Anybody vying for political office ought to be willing to publicly debate his or her political opponents.

Sincerely,

Telemoonfa

In related news, Jeff Smith was silenced by Jeff Flake's cronies at a Legislative District 22 meeting. Click on the link to read about it. This story needs to be told.

http://seeingredaz.wordpress.com/2010/06/11/cd-6-candidate-jeff-smith-muzzled-in-ld-22/

Vote Jeff Smith!

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Leftovers From My Teaching Website, More Thoughts on my Brief Career in Teaching

Dear Readers,

At the middle school where I used to work, all the teachers were supposed to put together websites to help parents keep track of what their kids were doing. Students could also use the websites to keep track of homework and stuff. Here’s the teacher website I put together:

http://bbird.myteachersite.org/teacher/site/index.cfm?page=910

In a few months that link won’t work anymore, so I decided to copy and paste most of the stuff from the website to Telemoonfa Time. Enjoy:

March 24, 2010 letter about the plays

Dear Parents/Guardians of CMS drama students,

March 24, 2010

In drama class so far, we’ve learned the basics of using our voices and bodies to create distinct characters, performed monologues and performed scenes, and now we’re getting ready to perform one-act plays.

First Period is doing these three plays:

1] Miss Louisa and the Outlaws by Frances B. Watts. It’s about two outlaws who hide in a one-room old-fashioned schoolhouse in the old American West. Miss Lousia, a strict and clever schoolteacher, keeps the outlaws in the schoolroom until the Sheriff arrives.

2] The Saga of Davey Rocket by Ruthe Massion Tausheck. It’s a melodrama about a futuristic family, the Dimplewarts, who is about to get their home taken away by Scorpio. The villainous Scorpio claims to have the deed to the lot of land the Dimplewart’s house is built on. One of the Dimplewart daughters contacts Davey Rocket, a hunky space hero, and Davey Rocket helps to save the day.

3] The Bookworm by Gwen Chaloner. It’s about a little girl, Betty, who stays in a library afterhours and encounters a magical creature, the Bookworm. Books come alive as the Bookworm opens Betty’s eyes to the wonder of books.

Second Period is doing these two plays:

1] Visit to the Planets by Hathaway Kale Melchior. It’s about two boys who build a spaceship with imagination and fly around the solar system and learn about the planets.

2] A Doctor for Lucinda by Margaret Mantle. It’s about a young woman, Lucinda, who pretends to be mute so she can avoid marrying and old rich man who her father wants her to marry. A quirky doctor enters, identities get mistaken, and hilarity and slapstick ensue.

Second Period will perform their plays on Tuesday April 27th at 6:30 pm on the middle school stage in the cafeteria. First Period will perform their plays on Thursday April 29th at 6:30 pm, in the same place. I’m encouraging all my drama students to come to both performance nights, but they are only required to come the night they are in the performance. The performances are free.

Basically, I’m asking for these three things:

1] Provide transportation to get your child here by 6:00 pm on the night of performance. There will be no busses for this activity.

2] If necessary, rearrange your child’s schedule so he or she can participate in this play. If something can’t be moved, or if your child becomes sick, let me know as soon as possible so that we can get a replacement actor.

3] Come and enjoy the show!

Sincerely,

Mr. Telemoonfa

Course Information

Drama One is an introduction to the exciting world of the theatre. In this class, students can expect to harness the power of their wonderful voices and bodies and apply that power into the age-old craft of acting. Students will also learn about playwriting, collaboration, technical theatre, script analysis, and other theatrical subjects. Students will also get the chance to be a part of a real theatrical performance. It is my hope that students will leave drama with an appreciation for the theatre, a basic familiarity with several plays, and a boosted confidence in their own public speaking and public performance skills. And maybe they'll even get bit by the acting bug!

About Mr. Telemoonfa

I grew up in Tucson Arizona. I’m married and my wife and I have one darling little daughter.

I recently graduated from Northern Arizona University with a double major in English Education and Theatre Education. Being a drama teacher at Combs Middle School is my first foray into teaching.

I have been involved with theatre since high school. In addition to performing in various monologues and scenes during drama classes, I played Rusty in Up the Down Staircase, The Narrator in The Good Doctor, and I wrote and directed a one-act comedy called SpaceApe Takeover.

At Eastern Arizona College, I played a concentration camp inmate in Another Gate, a mobster in Psycho Night at the Paradise Lounge, a psychiatrist in Ace of Hearts, Richard Diamond and Mr. Bickerson and others in An Evening of Old Time Radio, and George in The Actor’s Nightmare.

At Northern Arizona University I played Granpa in The Grapes of Wrath and the Logician in Rhinoceros, and I directed a one-act tragedy called The Youngest Shall Ask.

Aside from educational settings, I played a pizza delivery boy in a full-length comedic movie that a friend of mine made called Pizza Men. I also played Editor Webb in Our Town at a community theatre in Flagstaff.

I also enjoy reading and writing poetry, and I actually won second place one time at a Poetry Slam in Flagstaff.

I love theatre and I love teaching theatre to youngsters. I hope to be able to pass on my love of theatre to the next generation.

Thanks for reading, and have a nice day.

=================================================

It might be fun to contrast the rosy picture I tried to paint for parents via my teacher website with blog posts like this one. Ha ha ha. What actually happened in my classrooms and what I tried to pretend were happening in my classrooms were very different things, especially near the end of the school year. Near the end of the school year, things got really bad. I shut the door and I shut the curtains. When things were going bad, I was so scared that at any moment the Principal or a parent would come walking in and see my circus of a classroom.

Maybe I shouldn't compare my classes to a circus, though. Circuses are fun and entertaining.

My classes were more like The Lord of the Flies.

Ha ha ha.

I consider teaching to be one of the biggest failures of my life.

I've told that to a few people- I failed at teaching. And when I told them that I failed at teaching, they tried to comfort me and said something like, "well, it's not really failure if you learned more about yourself and about the world," or, "Oh, you didn't fail, you just... succeeded in a different way."

But I don't think I'm looking for consolation when I tell people that I failed at teaching. It's been almost three weeks since school got out, and so I've had some time to think, and now I think I'm at peace with my failure. I recognize that I failed, but that's OK.

I don't teach anymore.

Sure, I could be bitter. I could blame the system. I could say that the schools aren't strict enough. I could say that corporal punishment or uniforms or prayer ought to be put back in schools. I could say that parents these days don't do a good enough job of instilling respect into their children.

But the truth is, even with all those systemic problems, some teachers are flourishing; some students are doing wonderful things in our public schools.

(I think I could have succeeded at teaching, maybe, if I just would have tried harder, or maybe if my personality was different. It's hard to say. I don't want to discourage people who want to be teachers. Maybe they'll be great at it. The nation needs good teachers.)

Remember Jaime Escalante.

According to educational folklore, and the movie Stand and Deliver, Jaime Escalante dealt with students much worse than the ones I dealt with. And he taught in a much more troubled school district. But Mr. Escalante did amazing things with his classrooms. Amazing, glorious things.

Too bad there aren't more Jaime Escalantes around.

When I finished cleaning out my classroom and turning in my keys, near the end of last month, it was like a huge burden had been lifted off of my shoulders. I felt so free and happy.

I don't teach anymore. It feels so good to say that.

Oh, I suppose I teach some of my new co-workers things, and I suppose I teach Primary on Sundays at Church, and once in a blue moon I give a home teaching message and a family home evening lesson, but those are very different kinds of teaching.

And a funny thing is, some of my students might think that I succeeded in teaching. There were some students in some of my classes who really learned. They were the good kids, the smart kids who took initiative. Yeah, it's nice to think that some of my students really liked drama and got a lot out of it, and will continue with it in high school or in community theatre.

And I had a few good months there. January and February and early March were pretty good. But then in late March, and in April, and in May, my classes went downhill. The monsters took over.

Now I've got a different job that I really enjoy. The Lord led me to the job I have now.

I like the people I work with.

I love the people I work with, honestly. They're great people. They're happy people. And they're good workers. And I love the lack of bureaucratic nonsense that was so prevalent at school. I love the way my new job makes sense. Everything about it makes sense. I know when I'm working hard. I know when I'm doing a good job. My muscles get a little tired, and I sweat, and I find myself smiling a lot. I find myself having great conversations with my co-workers as we work together. I respect everyone there, and people respect me.

The company I work for, Severtson Corporation, is a beautiful, shining example of what can happen in America where people are willing to work hard, take risks, make investments, and rely on God. It's getting harder to grow a business these days, with all the crippling government regulations, and with the rising costs of health care, and with cap and tax looming, and with taxes increasing. And it's a shame the way manufacturing has slowly been exported. But still, there are American businesses out there that are doing well. I was lucky and blessed enough to find one of them that was hiring.

And I really feel like I can be myself there. I couldn't be myself at school. No way. I had to be all stiff and official. And if I tried to be silly or crack jokes, the students would take advantage of me and break the rules I tried to enforce.

Plus, I'm thankful to simply have a job right now, in this economy. Gosh, the news can be depressing sometimes.

And I'm not stressed out anymore! I used to hate going to bed at night when I knew that the next day I had to face a classroom full of monsters. (Not all of them were monsters... in fact... they were all decent human beings... you know what I mean) I used to fret about school all the time. I was grumpier then, when I was teaching. I was stressed out. I thought about how the students were judging me, about how the administration and my fellow teachers were judging me, and about how the parents were judging me. I used to worry about my lesson plans. I used to worry about the students misbehaving in class. I used to worry that at any moment I could be sued for negligence because some kid would get hurt in my class.

But now I don't have to worry about that stuff anymore.

Goodnight.

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa

Sharron Angle!

Dear Readers,

Well, Chuck Devore lost to Carly Fiorina yesterday in the Republican Primary in California.

Nuts.

Oh well.

Hopefully Carly Fiorinia will make another demon sheep ad to attack Barbara Boxer. That would be cool.

And maybe Carly Fiorina has a better chance at defeating Barbara Boxer in the general election. So now of course, like a good politician, I switch my endorsement from Chuck Devore to Carly Fiorina.

I think we'll be seeing more of Chuck Devore in some political capacity. I hope so, anyway.

In other news, Sharron Angle won the Republican primary for Senator in Nevada. She'll be going against Harry Reid in the general election. I'm happy about that result. Sharron Angle is the tea-party candidate, you know. She sounds really conservative. Honestly, I didn't follow the Nevada Republican primary campaign at all, and I just heard about Angle recently. But I've already found out that she speaks at tea parties, totes a gun, and she rides a motorcycle sometimes. Those facts are important to me. And her Dad was in WWII.

Go Sharron Angle!

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa

Monday, June 7, 2010

Chuck Devore! and Other Endorsements!

Dear Readers,

I hope Chuck Devore wins tomorrow. He's the true conservative in the Republican primary race for Senator in California.

He's down in the polls, though... and it looks like Carly Fiorina will win.

If Carly wins, it will be because she has so much more money than Chuck Devore does.

(By the way, yesterday at a pro-Israel rally in L.A., Chuck Devore said, "The fight between Israel and Hamas is the fight between civilization and barbarism." That's the kind of straight talk I like to hear. And Chuck Devore is very pro- nuclear power!)

But I should probably devote most of my political time to supporting candidates and political causes in Arizona.

Here are some of my endorsements for Arizona politicians:

In congressional district 1, where I used to live, I endorse Bradley Beauchamp.

He's got "champ" in his name, like one of the most powerful Pokemon ever, Machamp. Machamp does seismic toss. Ha ha ha. That's why you should vote for Bradley Beauchamp. Ha ha ha. No, seriously folks, I heard Bradley Beauchamp speak at a Tea Party on July 4th, 2009 in Flagstaff, and he was great. Beauchamp seems like a real-deal limited government conservative.

It's time for Ann Kirkpatrick to go.

In Congressional District 8, where I was raised, I endorse Jesse Kelley.

Send a warrior to Congress!

It's time for Gabby Giffords to go.

In Congressional District 6, where I live now, I endorse Jeff Smith.

It's time for Jeff Flake to go.

For Arizona Govener, I think I endorse Jan Brewer. I like her stauch defense of SB 1070. It looks like she's going to win. But I like Buz Mills a lot, too. His name is Buz. Ha ha ha.

For US Senator, I endorse JD Hayworth.

It's time for John McCain to go.

For every other political office in Arizona, I don't know who I endorse.

Oh, and I gotta give out one more endorsement, and this one is far away from Arizona. I endorse Dale Peterson for Agricultural Commisioner in Alabama.

Watch this video ha ha ha it is soooooooooooooo cooooooooooooooool!!!




Sincerely,
Telemoonfa

Friday, June 4, 2010

I Shook Mitt Romney's Hand Today

Dear Readers,

About 45 minutes ago, I shook Mitt Romney's hand. It was cool. I've been a Mitt Romney fan for a long time, so it was great to finally see him in person. He seems like a great man.

I shook his hand after a campaign event in the Mesa High School auditorium this morning... There was a big crowd of people around him, wanting autographs and pictures taken, and I had to wait around for about 10 minutes to see him.

But when I did finally get close to him and stuck out my hand, I smiled at him, and said "Thanks for coming," and he said something like, "Thank you yes nice to see you yes," and moved on. He was sort of talking to a lot of people at once, you see.

It was pretty exciting seeing John McCain and Mitt Romney in real life. It reminded me that they were both just two men, who put their pants on one leg at a time.

But I got pretty frustrated at the event because Romney and McCain were not very specific. I don't know what McCain's platform really is... I mean, John McCain said he wanted to build a fence along the US-Mexico border, and get the economy moving again, and fight Obama-care, and preserve the secret ballot for employees who are voting on unionizing, and make the government smaller... all great stuff, but... why hasn't he fought harder for that stuff all this time he's been a Senator?

Not one time did McCain say, "This is how I'm different than JD Hayworth," and give concrete reasons why he's a better candidate. In fact, JD Hayworth's name wasn't brought up once, either by the speakers or the audience members who asked questions. What's up with that?

I wanted to stand up and ask him, "Are you going to debate JD Hayworth any time soon?" But only a few questions got to be asked, and there weren't a lot of great answers... you know how politicians are.

I like JD Hayworth because he actually compares and contrasts his views with McCain's views, and his voting record vs. McCain's voting record.

OK I gotta go to work and make giant movie screens. See you later.

Vote JD Hayworth!

Sincerely,
Telemoonfa