Wednesday, March 31, 2010

confused, like, politically-wise

Dear Readers,

Sometimes I get so confused, like, politically-wise. You know?

Like, all of the politics get mixed up together and then I don't know what the truth is and sometimes I just don't know how to feel about particular politicians.

Like, just when I thought Obama was the AntiChrist for sure, he goes and does something I completely agree with. To wit: It looks like Obama's opening up the way to produce more domestic oil!

I never thought I would say this non-sarcastically, but... WAY TO GO, PRESIDENT OBAMA!

Drill baby drill!

But there could be something fishy about the whole thing... it could all be part of a dastardly Communist/Radical Muslim plot.

And I just want to say to you, Mr. Obama, that letting us do off-shore drilling is nice, but it doesn't make up for the health care tragedy, and it doesn't make up for the sneaky way you used a recess technique to appoint Craig Becker, and it doesn't make up for palling around with terrorists!

Back to my confusion, like, politically-wise... how is a little guy like me supposed to really find out about the inner workings of politics, anyway? I wish I could peer into the hearts of politicians and figure out if they were really truly conservative or not. I wish I had a Liahona that would lead me to the offices of the good politicians. Or I wish I had a Magic 8 Ball that really worked. If I had one of those things, I would use the Liahona/Magic 8 Ball on Mitt Romney.

Because, I hate to admit this, but sometimes I have doubts about Mitt Romney's true-blue conservativeness.

Well, Romney's conservative and fiscally responsible and right about everything, as far as I can tell, except for when it comes to one pesky little issue. And in fact it's not really a pesky little issue... it's more like a life-and-death, gigantic issue.

I'm talking about health care.

As many of you know, Mitt Romney helped implement a state-wide health care system when he was Governer of the hardest-to-spell state in the Union, Massachusetts.

Now, Mitt Romney says that his version of health care in Massachusetts and Obamacare are as different as night and day... to defend RomneyCare, Mitt is basically saying that

1) The people after Romney left office messed up his original plans.

2) The health care system in Massachusetts had to be fixed. It's not fiscally responsible to let people get a free ride at the hospital, so something had to be done. Mandating that everyone get health insurance actually lowered premiums for everyone, because it made sure that everybody was actually paying their bills.

3) RomneyCare was done in a transparent, bipartisan way.

4) RomneyCare focused on health care only- it didn't take over the student loan industry or do anything else crazy like Obamacare does.

5) RomneyCare worked well in the labratory of the particular state he was in- the system is not suitable for an entire country to adopt.

6) RomneyCare was not a government takeover, nor did it lead to a government takeover, but rather it supported competition among private companies offering health insurance.

Of course I'm probably misrepresenting his message, but you can read his official stuff in other official places.

I mostly buy Mitt's arguments, but still, I'm skeptical. I think RomneyCare was a step in the wrong direction... I feel like it was like a foot in the door to bigger government, which isn't always a bad thing, but still, um... if you can believe what you read in the paper, according to some people, RomneyCare is now another big government beauracracy doing bad things to the economy in Massachusetts.

Another bad thing about Mitt Romney is he endorsed John McCain instead of JD Hayworth. That really bugs me. But it is important to point out that Mitt Romney is not actively campaigning for John McCain, he's not doing fundraisers for him or anything, but rather, Mitt just casually endorses McCain, in passing. (That's what I tell myself so I can sleep better, anyway.)

Still, even though Mitt Romney endorses John McCain, and even though he did some messed-up health care stuff in Massachusetts, Mitt Romney still has my support.


Wednesday, March 24, 2010

How to Repeal Obamacare

Dear Readers,

I’ve read a lot of online conservative responses to the passage of Obamacare. A lot of them are angry. A lot of them are unrealistic. There’s a lot of tea-partiers going around saying “Repeal the bill immediately! Storm the White House and tear up the law!”

But the problem is, repeals are hard to do. Amendments to previous laws are more common. Repeals rarely happen, and if they do happen, it takes a really long time.

Unfortunately, President Obama has the power to veto a repeal, and we’ve got him in office for at least another 2 years and something something days. I think a ¾ supermajority can overturn a presidential veto, but I don’t know if we can get that many repeal votes in Congress. Plus the process takes a long time.

Realistically, I think we need to win back Republican majorities in the legislative branch this November, and then we need to put Republicans in charge of the executive branch in 2012. I’m thinking Mitt Romney for President and either Ted Nugent or the corpse of Ronald Reagan for Vice President.

After we have conservative Republican majorites in Congress and a conservative Republican in the White House, repealing Obamacare should be a walk in the park.

But if we don't get enough conservative Republicans elected in the upcoming elections, we're stuck with Obamacare forever and pretty soon we'll all be just like the Communist USSR, except with slightly milder winters.

And now if you want to read a more educated article from someone who really knows more about politics than me then click on the link that leads to the place where a good article is for you and these are the words that you need to click on for the article to magically appear on your computer screen. It’s by Dick Morris, a great American.


Pictures from around my neighborhood, part 4

Dear Readers,

It's a cactus and the shadows are nice. And other things are nice too.
Mailboxes, curbs, tire marks on the curb, from when people drive right up next to the mailbox so they don't have to get out of their cars to get their mail. I love drive-throughs. (Drive-thrus? sp? lol j/k bbq ) They are so convenient, and you don't have to use them if you don't want to. If there are no drive throughs, at a resteraunt or a collection of mailboxes or wherever, then you have fewer choices. An absence of drive-throughs is an assault on your free agency. It's too bad they don't have fly-throughs, for hoverboards and space-cars and strap-on jet booster packs. A absence of fly-throughs is also an assault on your free agency.
I love it when the pretty colors come.

Tomorrow is trash day. The shadow in the picture is me. Mmmmmmm... the curbs and the trees and the homes and the breathing people inside the homes and the clouds and the sky and the warm pebbles and the warm street and all the wonderful feelings!
Fencepost. Barbed wire. A spreading of shadows. A splashing of light. The lush earth.
The barbed wire fence, at the corner of a property. Sticks and leaves. Green fluffiness. This is Arizona. Looks like someone put a plastic cup on top of one of those metal fence posts. Strange. Must be a farmer thing. Like scarecrows.
The moon. People have been up there.

A cell phone, broken, discarded. Tossed from a vehicle? Stomped on by a jilted lover? A drunken jilted lover? Rocks. Dirt. Green fluffs of wilderness, sprouting from the suppleness of spring.
And the big light shines on you. Shine. Shine. The Large Light shines, and you feel the shine. All in all of your body. And all in all of your mind. The shine is warm. There is nothing to be afraid of. You like the shine. You are warm inside. Your whole body is warm. Your mind is still.
The shining comes into you, comes into you, comes into you, and you welcome it with open arms, and recieve it with mental and physical pleasure. You taste the shining on your tongue. The skin on your chest feels it. Your whole body recieves it, and your whole body is filled with light. Now a seed of light comes from the Large Light. The Shine plants a seed of light into the thickness of your body. Feel the seed entering you. You like the way it feels. There is nothing unpleasent about the light-seed entering into you. All is peace. Your mind is still.
Now the light-seed grows within you, grows within you, grows within you, grows within you, grows within you, until you are no more merely a human with a light-seed growing in you, but you are something more. Something greater. You don't quite know what you are becoming, but you are not worried. You like the way everything feels. The light-seed inside you expands. The light-seed expands more. It's still expanding. It becomes larger and larger. And you like the way it feels when the light grows inside of you. The light is about to burst through all of your skin, all at once. It's about to burst. It's about to burst. It bursts.
Your mind is still. The light is now all around you. You don't like your human body anymore. Your body is old, and it itches. But the light all around you is soothing. You leave your body. Congratulations. You have become a Child of the Big Shine. You have become the Offspring of the Large Light. And now, Child of the Big Shine, go walking. Right now. Walk! Walk with the power that comes from the light all around you. And as you walk, shine on the humans. Shine! Shine! Find all the humans you can. Look for the humans in the streets, and look for the humans in the houses. Go into their kitchens and go into their bedrooms. Go wherever the humans are.
There is a door in front of you. Touch the handle. Yes, good, this is the right place. You like the way the handle feels. Open the door and walk into the bedroom. There's a human! Put the human at ease. Smile to put her at ease. Good. Now shine on her! Shine on her with all of your Shine! Don't worry. You will not run out of Shine. You have an infinite amount of Shine. Remember, you are the Offspring of the Large Light. Yes, that's good. You are good. Keep shining. Shine on the human so she can feel nice. Now plant your seed in the human!

This sign fell over. Or was it pushed?
Green and brown, and a metal thing coming out of the ground.
a closer look at the thing.

They almost built all these houses a few years ago but then all the money went away so they stopped building the houses. They just put boards where the glass windows are supposed to go. I'd like to trespass there sometime. Break in to the place and squat.

HORSES!!! STANDING AROUND CALMLY!!!GEOMETRY!!!The ground has a new friend.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Jeff Flake!!! Part Two

Dear Readers,

Remember when I thought Jeff Flake gave out really quiffert email responses? Well, Jeff Flake emailed me again with a better letter about health care. Here it is:

Dear Telemoonfa,

Thank you for contacting me about health care reform. The rising cost of healthcare is truly a major problem. As you know, over 45 million Americans are either unable to acquire health insurance on their own or simply choose not to have coverage.

The President has made health care reform one of his top priorities this year. As a result, Democrats in Congress have proposed legislation that will create a government-run health care system to compete with private insurers.

The Congressional Budget Office estimates that this will cost American taxpayers more than one trillion dollars over ten years. As a result, small businesses will bear a significant brunt of this cost, likely resulting in considerable job losses. Some estimate that current proposals pending before Congress will result in over one hundred million individuals losing their current insurance.

I believe that all Americans should have access to affordable healthcare, and that the federal government can achieve this by encouraging health insurance companies to offer a wide variety of plans that cover a wide variety of health conditions. The key to meaningful reform is not more government intervention, but rather allowing the free market to control costs and improve quality through choice and competition. I do not support a government-run health care system run by federal bureaucrats instead of physicians and patients.

Republican Members of Congress have introduced legislation that will allow individuals more flexibility and control over their health care by allowing the purchase of health insurance across state lines, expanding Health Savings Accounts, and providing tax credits for costs related to health care. I believe that Americans should have access to health care that will empower them to control their health care dollars, permit individual choice, and empower the free market.

Thank you again for contacting me. Please do not hesitate to do so again in the future. I also encourage you to visit my website, which may be found at

JEFF FLAKE Member of Congress

I just want to take this oppurtunity to say...

Kudos to you, Jeff Flake!

I think you're great, and I'm glad you represent me. And that's cool that you're vain and stuff. I'm vain too! You're still way better than a lot of other politicians out there.


The Race Question on the Census

Dear Readers,

So I just filled out the 2010 Census letter, and my wife said that I shouldn't answer the race question because Glenn Beck said we shouldn't answer the race question because it will be used for dumb purposes by our dumb government.

But I googled "how should I answer the race question on the census" and I read a few things, like this thing and this thing and this thing.

And the third thing of the previous three things says that people should just select the "other race" box and write in "American" because it really isn't the government's business what race we are, and we really ought to move past categorizing people by race, don't you think? That made sense to me, and replying that way sounded fun, so I did it.

And it was fun!

And I took a picture of it!

And I hope you enjoy looking at the picture!


Telemoonfa’s Response to the Passage of the Health Care Bill

Dear Readers,

Like many of you, I am saddened and frustrated by the passage of the health care bill in the U.S. House of Representatives last night. My wife and I watched it on CSPAN, and when we saw the Democrats cheer when they got 216 yes votes, we mourned for our nation and for the future of our children.

I’m afraid that this is a sign of the times, and I’m afraid that America is slowly turning into a Communist country.

Seeing this happen to America is like standing by and watching the Titanic sink, without being able to do anything about it. Seeing this happen to America is like watching a Redwood fall, or a grandfatherly elephant collapse.

It’s very sad.

What more could I have done to stop the health care bill from passing? What more could I have done? I went to a tea party, I wrote my representatives a few times about health care, I signed a few online petitions against health care reform, I voted for Mitt Romney in the Republican primaries and then I voted for John McCain in the general election, I talked with several neighbors and friends about it- what more could I have done?

Should I have attended more protests, written more emails, donated money to groups that were fighting health care, bribed some Democratic representatives? Would that have made a difference?

What more could I have done?

I even prayed for the health care bill to fail.

I usually don’t pray for specific political things like that. I often pray for the general health and well-being of the nation, I pray for our troops that they will be safe and successful, I pray for the economy to improve, and I pray generally for the leaders of our nation, and other general, vague things like that. But I usually feel like it’s wrong somehow to ask God to intervene on specific political issues.

But on this health care bill thing, I’m pretty darn certain that a government takeover of healthcare will be bad for the prosperity of Americans. I’m pretty sure that if the health care bill becomes a law, it will hurt the economy and hurt health care and fund abortion, which is an awful sin, and it will do lots of other bad stuff. So, it made sense to me to pray to have the health care bill fail.

Nevertheless, it passed.

I had a conversation with my sister about the health care bill passing and she thought that maybe since our society is morally decaying we deserve what we get- a bully federal government, unemployment, taxes, taxes, taxes, death panels, and so on.

And maybe my sister is right. Maybe we deserve the cruel men that have become our new kings, because we have been wicked. Maybe we have brought the evils of socialism upon ourselves.

This is nothing new. Whenever the Lord’s people obeyed the commandments and appointed righteous judges, they prospered. But whenever they disobeyed the commandments, they got wars or plagues or famines or they got enslaved or bullied by heathen governments. And then the Lord’s people repented, turned back to the Lord, and eventually things got better again.

I do think that we need to continue to be politically active. We shouldn’t just roll over and let the bully federal government have their way with us. We need to work hard to elect honest and righteous conservatives to office this November, and we need to keep writing and calling our representatives, and we need to keep going to tea parties, and we need to keep learning about the issues, and arming ourselves with correct information, and exposing the crooks among us, and raising conservative awareness, and undoing all the psychological and spiritual damage inflicted upon us by the mainstream media and by the leftist public education system.

More importantly, though, we need to return to Judeo-Christian values. Remember that Boyd K. Packer taught, “The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior.”

I think it’s also safe to say, “The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve the economy quicker than a study of the economy will improve the economy.”

More people need to repent. More people need to go back to church. More people need to say their prayers. More people need to pray with their families, and express love for their family members and neighbors, and show compassion towards one another.

I’m reminded of a quote I saw embroidered into a throw pillow in some God-fearing household: “Work as if everything depended on you. Pray as if everything depended on the Lord.”

Our American way of life is worth fighting for. Our country, our representative democracy, our liberty, our religion, and our families need to be defended and preserved for the next generation.


Unitarian Universalists!

Dear Readers,

It’s not very polite to make fun of other religions, but…

Ever heard of the Unitarian Universalists, the people that subscribe to Unitarian Universalism? It’s crazy!

I’ve studied the faith/religion/spiritual movement extensively for a few minutes now, and it sounds to me like Unitarian Universalism started in the sixties by hippies who wanted to feel Christian without giving up their hippie-ness. So, they mixed in a little bit of feel-good Christianity, a little bit of marijuana, a little bit of Eastern Philosophy, and a few liberal arts degrees from Berkeley and Boulder and voila! those hippies invented Unitarian Universalism.

I remember reading one of their tracts a long time ago, and it said something like, "We encourage each of our members to come up with their own unique theology."

Bwah! Own unique theology? If people come up with their own unique theology… that’s just dumb.

I mean, can’t people do that without belonging to a church? In my opinion, people seek out religion because they want answers, clear answers. People seek out organized religion because they want articles of faith clearly spelled out by wiser and usually older people. They don’t want to hear "Go figure it out on your own!" during their Sunday sermons.

But apparently some people do like the feel-good fuzziness of Unitarian Universalism, because over 500,000 people call themselves Unitarian Universalists (UUs for short).

If there are any UUs reading this, don’t you find it troubling that, according to Wikipedia, 18% of your members are atheists? And don’t you think it’s weird that

Concepts about deity are diverse among UUs. Some believe that there is no god (atheism); others believe in many gods (polytheism). Some believe that God is a metaphor for a transcendent reality. Some believe in a female god (goddess), a passive god (Deism), an Abrahamic god, or a god manifested in nature or the universe (pantheism). Many UUs reject the idea of deities and instead speak of the "spirit of life" that binds all life on earth. UUs support each person's search for truth and meaning in concepts of spirituality.

Well, if that kind of loosey-goosey doctrine works for you, all you UUs reading this, then uh… uh… that’s still ala-whutiest woo, because even if you think it works for you, it really doesn’t work for you. You will see on Doomsday that Unitarian Universalism really does not work for you!

I think you really ought to join a church that makes you feel guilty at least once a week.


Monday, March 15, 2010

JD Hayworth!!!

Dear Readers,

This is a letter I just sent to JD Hayworth:

Dear JD Hayworth,

I saw you speak last Saturday morning at Don Pedro’s Mexican Restaurant in San Tan Valley. I had listened to your talk show on the radio a few times, and watched you on a few You-Tube videos, and have been impressed with you and your ideas and your politics, but it was great to see you in person.

I think you are intelligent, well-spoken and articulate. I’m glad you’re using your powers of persuasion and rhetoric for the cause of conservatism and not of liberalism. I thank you for running for office and I thank you for spreading liberty.

I’ve started to campaign for you, in my own small way. I’ve helped convince my Dad to vote for you, and my wife and my sister to vote for you, and probably most of my relatives will end up voting for you.

Thanks for the bumperstickers you gave out. I put two of them on my bicycle. (One’s on the other side of the bike; you can’t see it in the photo.) I ride my bike to work everyday, and I work at a public school as a middle school drama teacher (I know that stuff makes me sound like a liberal, but I’m really a conservative!) and so all my colleagues and students are going to see my support for you.

Also, I’ve written about you a little on my blog, at

I wrote a letter to my HomeOwner’s Assosication asking them if it’s OK for me to put a sign in my front yard. If they say it is, then next I’ll ask my wife if it’s OK for me to put a sign in my front yard, and then if she’s OK with it, well, then, we’ll have a JD Hayworth for US Senate sign in our front yard!

Well, I just wanted to say thank you for visiting the San Tan Valley area and keep campaigning hard, because I think you’ve got an excellent chance at beating John McCain, and I’d love to have you as my Senator.


Saturday, March 13, 2010

Jeff Flake!!!

Dear Readers,

I wrote an email recently to Jeff Flake, my U.S. Representative. I think it was about health care, but I don’t remember. This is the reply I got:

Thank you for contacting me to share your concerns and opinions. If you have an urgent matter and would like to request immediate assistance, please contact my office at 480-833-0092.

Thanks Jeff!

Even though Flake sends out my least favorite response emails, he’s one of my favorite politicians. He’s Mormon, he’s Republican, he’s conservative, he's a cowboy, he's against irresponsible spending, blah blah blah... he has a pretty good voting record, he does that great "earmark of the week" thing on his website but…JD Hayworth has some pretty negative things to say about him.

Hayworth said that Jeff’s last name was fitting. Ha ha ha.

He said that Flake is very narcissistic. And Hayworth said that Flake would rather put out a press release about how hard he is working than actually work, or something to that effect. And Hayworth also said that it was bad of Flake to watch his daughter in the preliminary rounds of a beauty contest rather than vote against the cap and trade bill. He also said that one time Jeff Flake went on an island alone and took pictures of himself bare-chested- that’s how narcissistic Flake is. Ha ha ha.

I heard JD Hayworth say all that stuff about Flake this morning when I saw Hayworth live and in person!!!! It was very exciting to see a famous politician like that, and I want to tell you all about it, and I will, in my next post!

Here’s an article about Flake's survivalist trip:

Oh, politics. I love it.


Friday, March 12, 2010

Pictures from around my neighborhood, part 3

Dear Readers,

This evening, around sunset, I walked around my neighborhood a little bit. It was nice. The weather here is just wonderful. And these are a few of the things I looked at and took pictures of.
This Sat.! 8-12
Cottonwood Rd.
Rocks and some little bits of green weeds coming up... and shadows, little pieces of dirt and big pieces of dirt... that blue, blue thing, that wonderful splash of bright blue, is a lighter. Gosh, that's the most gorgeous lighter I've ever seen!

Tree branches and ground and sky and park and houses and oh baby up close up close up close! It's gets all tangly in there! It comes out at you, like swish swish swish, and it goes straight into your face, like ffft ffft ffft, all full of spikes.

Some pipes and poles and knobs inside a tan metal cage to the right. Strange! Terrific! And a hard concrete rectangle sticking out of the earth to the left. Strange! Terrific! It's got a dark gray lid. And these guys share their lives with each other. Chance has brought them together. They are boxcar hobos. They go with the flow. They are breathing, and reproducing, very slowly. The one on the left is surly. I can feel it.

More things. The things are more.

This is ground control to Major Tom.

How many hands touched this metal? How many tongues licked the envelopes that go in the giant metal compartments you see here. And letters put in the slots, by hands. And keys inserted, and touching metal, and pressing against, and how much emotion comes out of those boxes? And how much boredom, and drudgery.



Thursday, March 11, 2010

The Shifting State of Public Education: Being a Thorough Study of the Current Political Issues Facing Curriculum-Making, Extra-Curricular Fancy Dance

Dear Readers,

Ala-quiff! Apparently you can't have mile-long titles on blogs... this is the full title:

The Shifting State of Public Education: Being a Thorough Study of the Current Political Issues Facing Curriculum-Making, Extra-Curricular Fancy Dance Activity Cancelling, and the Curious Procurement of Shotguns in the Twenty-First Century American Public School System.

So a lot of the times when I read the Drudge Report I see an interesting article and think, “Wow, I’ve got to write about that on Telemoonfa Time!” But then I usually don’t, for one reason or another, but now, holy cow, just- just- just keep reading OK, because this stuff is crazy!!!

Remember when I (And Ron Paul and Ann Coulter and a lot of other cool people) said that we ought to abolish the federal Department of Education? Well, you might be thinking that that’s loony, but look at this, and you might change your mind:

The federal Department of Education is going to buy 27 shotguns… what?!!!

What in the world for?

Does that make any sense at all? It’s got to be someone abusing power and tax-payer money. I can’t think of any good reason why the federal Department of Education needs shotguns… well, maybe if they are going to give the guns to a gun club at a public school… maybe I could get behind that… because guns are so awesome and because that would make our students a little more like Elmer Fudd, which is a great thing, considering Elmer Fudd’s politics (C’mon, you know he’s got to be a conservative… Fudd lives in a rural area, he hunts rascally rabbits, he drives a truck, he’s an old white man…) but there are no gun clubs at public schools! So what do you need those guns for, federal Department of Education?!

And then here’s another interesting thing:

A lesbian in a public school in a small town in Mississippi wanted to bring a female date to the prom, and that caused problems, of course, and, long story short, the school board decided to cancel the prom altogether.

My thoughts about the story…

I don’t know.

I kind of feel like they should have just let the two girls go to the prom together. Would it really have been that big of a deal?

But then I kind of feel that schools have an obligation to instill correct morals into children. And so maybe canceling the prom rather than allowing the lesbian girls to go together was a teachable moment. By canceling the prom, the school board reinforced the notion to the student body and to the community that heterosexuality is the correct sexuality.

And that’s a good thing. Because heterosexuality is the correct sexuality. We shouldn’t be homosexual.

Or if the conservative school board wanted to get their message across in an even stronger way, they could have just told the girl, “No, you can’t go to the prom with a girl because you’re a girl, and that just isn’t right. Girls go to the prom with boys, OK?” But then there would have been a homosexual uproar, and I’m sure the school board is just trying to do the best they can to avoid controversy and the media spotlight, at this point. So canceling the prom was probably a good way to go.

(Especially since proms are a waste of money and emotion anyway. I’m glad I never went to prom. AND NO I’M NOT JUST HIDING MY BITTERNESS THAT SALLY Q. REJECTED ME IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!!! Lol j/k bbq

Seriously, though, I never went to prom. I don’t regret it. I feel about prom the same way I feel about beauty pageants, NASCAR and Halo… that’s fine if you go over there and do your thing, but don’t make me have anything to do with it.)

Back to the topic at hand…

I think I support the school board’s decision, because the school board has to reflect the local values. The school board members were elected by the locals- they represent the locals- and so they should try to do what the locals want them to do, for the most part. And since this happened in a small conservative town in the Bible Belt, the school board did the right thing.

Now if this same sort of thing had happened in San Francisco, well, maybe the school board should have let the two girls go to the prom together because that seems to be the attitude of the citizenry of San Francisco.

Maybe we shouldn’t be looking for one-size-fits-all laws and policies. Maybe we should let local governments come up with their own ideas that reflect the will of the local people.

And isn’t it great that we have local places and local people who have their own local sovereignty? I think to preserve freedom, we need to fight globalization… well… of course globalization has different meanings. If you mean the globalization that comes from the Internet, the capitalist free market system, and the free exchange of ideas and information, that’s great. That’s the kind of globalization I like… people reaching across the globe to come up with solutions, invent cool new technology, compare notes, preach peacefully… that’s great.

But we do need to fight the bad kind of globalization- the Adolf Hitler kind of globalization, we need to fight the world-wide set of laws enforced by brute force and propaganda and soma… you know, a Brave New World/ 1984 scenario. That type of globalization leads to less freedom, less prosperity, and less true religion.

I actually like the geo-political arrangements we find ourselves in. All these different states and cities, each with their own sovereignty, allows for more freedom. I like being able to move around, join different organizations voluntarily, or not join them… freedom is great.

It’s important that we retain our state sovereignty, so that states don’t just become administrative units of the federal government. Each one of the fifty nifty united states must have their own identity and self-determination, the right to make up their own laws… remember the Tenth Amendment.

But I digress.

What I’m saying is, maybe if that lesbian girl who wanted to take a girl to the prom wanted to be more comfortable, and more accepted, she ought to move to San Francisco, or West Hollywood, or Sodom, or some other enclave of homosexuality.

I’m not saying the Mississippi locals ought to run her ought of town. Of course not! I’m only politely suggesting to this girl that there are other places where her lifestyle won’t cause her so much grief. There is a land, far, far away, little girl, where there are no Bible-thumping school boards, and that place is San Francisco. Run away! Flee to your lesbian fantasyland in northern California!

Now, I don’t think I’m doing wrong by suggesting that she move to San Francisco. That’s like suggesting to slaves of the antebellum South to take a ride on Harriet Tubman’s Underground Railroad to the North.

Borders are good things. Here’s why:

There comes a point at which people and cultures have irreconcilable differences, and they need to separate, geographically. The House of Israel had to leave Egypt and go to the Promised Land. The Nephites had to separate from the Lamanites. The Americans had to separate from the British. The Shakers had to separate from Bablyon. The Branch Davidians had to have their compound. The Mormons had to flee Illinois and move to Utah. Utah is where the nineteenth century Mormons could practice their religion in peace, build their temples, have their sovereignty, and be happier.

The Amish would lose their culture if they were spread all throughout the country, forced into PC public schools using federally approved textbooks. Thank Heaven there are different lands, outside the jurisdiction of bully governments and bully majorities, for distinct people to occupy!

Again, borders are good things. They allow for more freedom.

Other thoughts about that news article…

That lesbian girl wanting to take a girl to the prom… that’s a sticky situation… there’s lots of politics involved, lots of deep emotions involved- that Mississippi girl and that Mississippi school board are on the front line of the culture wars, and it’s a difficult battle, and I don’t know exactly what to say…

I find myself being unable to defend my positions on homosexuality without referring to religious stuff. There are secular arguments against homosexuality, but they are not as good, I think, as religious ones.

I talked about a lot of this stuff before on Telemoonfa Time in September, October and November of 2008, around the time when Arizona voted on Proposition 102, which added an amendment to the Arizona Constitution that defined marriage as a union between one man and one woman. You can read about it here. And look at the comments, too. They are very good. Of course, you could probably find similar conversations going on all over the Internet.

I know what side of the culture war I’m on- I’m a conservative Mormon. I think homosexuality is a sin, and so I would like to discourage homosexual behavior, perhaps even by not letting homosexual couples go to school dances together. It’s sounds harsh, I know, but I stand by my harsh-sounding-ness.

But of course I love the sinners but hate the sin.

I have tons of gay friends! :)

I think public schools will face more and more of these types of issues as time marches on, and more and more people come out of the closet. (Which makes me think of a good question: are there more homosexuals these days? It seems that way to me, but are the numbers of homosexuals and homosexual sympathizers actually increasing? Or is that just what the media wants us to believe? Because if the number of homosexuals is increasing, then, from a populist perspective, our heteronormative schools, our heteronormative textbooks, and our entire heteronormative culture must be altered to accommodate that population change.)

I go back and forth between being a populist “just-do-what-the-people-want” type of guy and being a headstrong ideologue, crusading for my version of Utopia.

Blah blah blah.

As a schoolteacher, I basically follow the same policy that the military follows- don’t ask, don’t tell. And I avoid the homosexuality subject as much as possible.

Blah blah blah.

Well, readers, it’s been fun, but now I need to go figure out how to change the oil in my car, before it gets too dark, and before my life partner of the opposite gender gets home.


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

LTTP - Series Finale

Dear Readers,

Remember all those letters I wrote to the President in February?

It’s been like two weeks, and Barack has still not written me back! Even though I clicked on the box that said, “Yes, please I would please like a response, please” EVERY TIME I WROTE A LETTER TO THE PRESIDENT!

But Mr. OBAMa didn’t write me back…

I emphasize BAM because he wants to "BAM" you... and he wants to "BAM" us all!

Oh, now I see how democracy works under the Obama administration! Now I see how much my opinions are valued!

Mr. Obama, I’ll bet you only write people back if they compliment you, or ask an easy question, or write you once or twice instead of seventeen times!

What are you afraid of Mr. Obama? Are you too busy to reply?

I would write you again, because I really do want those form letters, but, alas, you’re probably no longer accepting public input. (I don’t blame you too much, though, for not responding. I wouldn’t want to read letters all day long about what a lousy job I’m doing.)

You know what I bet you’re doing right now, instead of reading and replying to letters from your constituents? You’re probably sitting in a secret upper room in the Library of Congress, stroking Bo’s black fur, smoking a Cuban cigar, rubbing your hands together, laughing to yourself, and concocting a plan to bully Democrats into voting for the Health Care takeover!


So… I can’t post his responses or my witty and biting responses to his responses, like I planned on doing.

Say lah vee.

Obama doesn't realize that by not responding, he's hurting Telemoonfa Time readers, who are the most marginalized minority of all the marginalized minorities!

They must have my name on a black list... I just know it. Although, considering the complexion of the current administration, maybe I should say they have me on a white list. Ha ha ha. I shouldn’t have made that joke, and it wasn’t funny, and I apologize. I now realize the hurt I have caused, and I feel ashamed, and I ask for the Universes’ forgiveness.

Maybe I’ll wait a few more weeks, until they forget who I am, and then I’ll write again, and submit one letter per week or something. Or maybe not.

See you later.


Monday, March 8, 2010

Pictures from around my neighborhood, part 2

Dear Readers,

I went on a little walk around my neighborhood again, and I took some pictures. This time I walked outside of my subdivision, to the land beyond the jurisdiction of the HomeOwner's Association. And here are some of the things I saw:

It's a pole with a wooden box attached to the pole, and a big metal pipe painted light blue, coming straight up out of the ground, and something else... I really don't know what this stuff is, but I like the way it looks. And there's a house and a wall... and this picture is about the pretty bits of wilderness, mixed with the pretty bits of civilization.

Here's an intersection, a stop sign, bright green weeds, growing thicker here and growing thinner there, electrical poles, electrical wires that come from the poles; they are criss-crossing the sky... clouds, walls, trees, rooftops, rooftops in the distance with the sun shining on them, room for your vision to expand, empty space, you can see for a long time, which visual expanse is relaxing to the minds of those who are familar with such space... but you can't see 95% of it, because 95% of it is dark matter.

Lots of big clouds. Puffy clouds, gray clouds, clouds that hide the blueness from you... clouds that drift around the atmosphere, and get blown around by the wind, very slowly, and we look at them, and the clouds change shape, and the clouds change color, and they get lower, and higher, and they'll be gone pretty soon. Or changed into different matter. You'll see the cloud later, in a different form, and you won't recognize it. You won't call it a cloud anymore. It rained earlier today. A straight road that goes on for a long time. It runs perfectly east and west. They planned it that way. A big tree. A very big tree. That tree is the King of this little bit of land. He's a nice King. He got to be King by growing for so long, and by getting tall, and he grew and he grew and he grew, and he was loving, and people and animals lived safely in his shadow, and the people and the animals were guided back home by his massive trunk, and Water gladly offered up itself to the King Tree, and Soil was tickled by the roots, and happy to be pressed down upon, and the Water and the Soil and the Animals called him King, but that appellation was but a recognition of what was already fact, and this is a very important poing, for if Water, Soil and Animals had not called him a King, the King Tree exuded his Kingship nevertheless, and the tree is truly a king, for there is absolute truth, and the Tree has a character that does not change based on what the things around it call him... and the King Tree was calm, yes, very calm. Quiet like a soldier after a war. And he looks at the silent battlefield and breathes. The King Tree is as calm with his popularity as he is with his anonymity. Getting his picture taken does not change him. That tree has inside of it the heart of a Pilgrim. He is solitary. He is to be emulated, and this tree is not expendable. It cannot be replaced, so spend time with it now, while you still can. If you got up close enough to it, you could climb it, and it would wrap you up in its compassionate limbs. You would want to stay there a long time. It would tell you some tree secrets, if you are ready to hear them, and his tree secrets are quiet tree secrets, and then you would tell it some human secrets. The soul of the King Tree will feel good as it touches your soul, just for a little while in the afternoon, and the King Tree comes from God.
A school bus. The children on the bus, and the busdriver. A child is adjusting his backpack by his feet. Another child feels the pink lump of hardened gum stuck under his seat. Another child looks out the window, and likes the way his head feels as it is jostled by the vibrations of that gigantic moving bus. The shadow made by the school bus. The yellow lines painted on the road. The white line on the road, faded out here and there. Poles and big wires that carry electricity in them. Little green things, on the sides of the road. The sky. The wall that marks the edge of the subdivision. Do you see the tire marks in the dirt? In the lower left hand corner -- sort of the middle, near the bottom? Somebody drove there recently. When I took this picture, the clouds parted for a bit, and the sun shone down a little more.
They were getting ready to build another subdivision, but then they stopped. It had something to do with an abstract, floating thing called the economy. The economy lives far, far away, in another land, and it tells us how to feel. And it tells us when we should build a lot of houses, and it tells us when we should stop building a lot of houses. Ground, sign, fence, sky, curbs. Did the Indians once live here? Maybe there was a battle here. Or a ceremony.
Pipes sticking out of the ground. They stopped construction on the rows and rows of houses around here, and this is some of the stuff they left behind.
A gigantic power pole. There's all sorts of knobs and metal connectors and wires and everything up there.
This truck is a picture of freedom.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Victoria Jackson!

Dear Readers,

Remember Victoria Jackson?

She's really really funny! I've loved her ever since I met her... er... I mean I've loved her ever since I saw her act funny on the TV!

And she's cute!

I saw her on Saturday Night Live a little bit and she was sooooo funny, and then I saw her do some stand up comedy (or should I say stand upside down comedy lol! :) becuase in the comedy she stands on her hands a lot) and it was really funny. She can sing and dance and do gymnastics and play the guitar and be funny and everything.

But probably the best thing she's been in is UHF, starring Weird Al. She plays Weird Al's girlfriend, and she does a great job. Her character is just so loveable!

Sigh... Victoria Jackson's adorable; she really is.

And now I just found out that my celebrity crush is ALSO A CONSERVATIVE!

Bwah!!! Where have I been?

And she's not just a mild, armchair type of conservative, but she's a full-blown Bible-thumping tea-partying conservative!


And she wrote this funny (and TRUE) song about Barack Obama being a communist and she sang it and she put it on a video and here is the video for all of us to see!!!!!

OK, did you watch it? Wasn't that great? Yeah, I liked it too. The only little bitty part that I wish was a tiny bit different is I wish that Victoria Jackson supported Mitt Romney instead of Mike Huckabee. But hey, that's OK, Victoria. You're still really really really cool and you're really really really hot.

(And by "hot" I mean I imagine your great Christian husband finds you attractive. That's all. Although the way your husband feels about your attractiveness is none of my business, I know. In all seriousness, you and I are both married to different people, you see, and we're both Christians, so of course I would not be suggesting anything sinful by saying you're hot. I'm just saying, come on, you play the guitar, you dance, you're a conservative, you've got a great sense of humor... OK I'll stop now.)

Love ya, Victoria!

(and by "Love ya, Victoria!" I mean "Love ya" in a playful way, the way middle school girls say that to everyone. Of course I didn't mean "Love ya, Victoria!" in the way that adults in romantic relationships use that term. Of course not.)


Monday, March 1, 2010

Pictures from around my neighborhood

Dear Readers,

Let's go on a nice walk. Walk with me!




Oh, look! Look what we see on our walk!

It's the sunset! See that sun?




lookie lookie over there at the sunset!

sunsets here are so pretty!

And the pole! The pole with the big light that goes shine shine!

the big sky

and the big light.

the park, and some houses, and the sky, and some mountains.


Mountains!! Big and strong!

They are happy mountains....

and let's walk walk walk some more and see what we see next!

Ooooo.... what are these???

What do you think these are???

Some big electrical boxes that make all the houses go buzz buzz with energy.

Hear the energy? BUZZ BUZZ

that's the sound of happiness! When we're happy we say buzz!

buzz buzz!

The park.

A tree.

The street.

walk walk walk!!

Some poles with red reflecter tape at the top. Hello little red tape! That's so the zoom zoom cars and the honk honk trucks don't go through there and into the park, where the children like to play. Throw the ball and catch the ball! See the drip drip puddle? It rained yesterday.

A white car driving down the street, turning the corner. Goodbye, white car! See the landscaping? That's what the nice men with the zzzz zzzz chainsaws do. They prune it and they spray the ground so the weeds don't grow. And that makes the ground look nice. The sidewalk. The street. The dirt. The sky. The air. Wispy wispy clouds.

wiiiiiiisssssssppppppy wwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssspppy!!!

Mailboxes all mashed up together. The people who bring the mail and the people who get the mail are nice people. They are not there now, but I've met them before, and they smile.
Quick! Smile like the people smile! Pretend you are getting mail, and smile with all your teeth! Ha ha ha.
Yes. That was a good smile.
smile smile smile!!
And we go get the mail and we like the rhythm - boom boom boom - of going to get the mail, and the wind feels nice, woooooooooooooooooooosh
wooooooooooooooooooosh... and when the wind doesn't blow, that feels nice, too. The curb. The stop sign. Some houses and bushes. This is where we all live in peace.

Sidewalk leading to a happy place!

A big stop sign with street signs up there on top of the stop sign. The sky. A tree.

A fire hydrant with pebbles on the ground around the fire hydrant. We like pebbles! This is in case a fire happens, then the big fire truck that goes honk honk can come and connect their hoses to it, and then the water goes woosh woosh, and that makes the fire go away. But don't worry. There won't be any fires here. No fires at all.
OK, now let's go to our happy home!
walk walk walk!!!
We sure do like to walk, and we sure do like to look!
Won't you walk and look with me again, soon? Oh, won't you?
Yes? OK! Yes! Let's. Let's walk again soon in the happy neighborhood with the nice things to do and the nice things to look at, like the trees and the bushes and the street and the cars and the stop signs and the sidewalk and the buzz buzz boxes with electricity going through them and all the pleasent things.


LTTP – Afterthoughts/reflectionaries (in which I comment upon, reflectify and expliananate the LTTP (Letters to the President) series.)

Dear Readers,

OK I think I’m done writing letters to the President for a little while.

So when you write an email to the president, at this place that the link right now is leading you to the right place where I made the letters go to the President if you click on it, you have to say whether your message is a policy comment or a non-policy comment. If it’s a policy comment, then another drop-down column thing pops up, then it has you categorize it, and then if it’s a non-policy comment then a different drop-down column thing pops up, then it has you categorize it.

You know, if your comment is about health care, you put it in the health care category.

Well, I decided to write a letter on each category, and see what kind of form letter I get back. I think it will be neat to collect the form letters that get sent back on each subject. And then it would be cool to do the same thing when Mitt Romney is President in 2013, and compare both administrations' form letters.

The categories were “Iraq,” “Immigration” etc… and one of the categories is “Housing.” I don’t get it. What are you supposed to say to the President about housing? So I didn’t write a letter for that category. But I did for all the rest of them, as you can see from my previous posts.

Moving on, I’d like to say a few words concerning some of my extreme comments that have generated some more extreme comments.

"a few words concerning some of my extreme comments that have generated some more extreme comments."

Ha ha ha j/k lol ... that was a dumb joke if you got the joke then you know that it was dumb...

Seriously, though, I don’t agree with everything I wrote to the President. Some of my comments were so extreme! Like, for example, these three things I wrote and actually sent to the Commander in Chief:

1] Saying we ought to put Christian prayer back in public schools.

2] Asking special permission from the President to hunt endangered species

3] Pointing out that both Barack Obama and his dog Bo are black.

To address each of these comments in order…

1] I’m not sure that we should put Christian prayer back in public schools. I was just exaggerating. That's how negotiation works you know? You start with high demands, you ask for more than you really want, and then you slowly concede some of your demands as you compromise. So, if I say that I want Christian public prayer back in school, then maybe they won’t take away kids' freedom to wear crosses or maybe they won't ban Christian clubs. If I say that I want all schools to display dozens of giant banners saying, “Merry Christmas” all around their campuses for the entire month of December, well, then, maybe they won’t discipline teachers for saying “Merry Christmas” to their students. See how extremism works?

2] Let me go hunting for endangered animals. Ha ha ha. That’s messed up! What kind of sick freak would want to go killing endangered species? I’m sure if I really did kill an animal, (like a big furry cuddly one, not a little cricket) I’d cry, lose my appetite, be unable to sleep, and write a poem expressing my remorse for cruelly taking the life of a majestic and beautiful living creature.

But it does bother me when the government says that someone can’t build a building on some land because of some three-toed bird or something living there. And it bothers me when loggers can’t cut down trees because of some spotted owl.

See, part of what I’m trying to do with Telemoonfa Time, here, is to undo all the psychological and political damage inflicted on my generation by Bambi, and Ferngully: the Last Rainforest, and the milieu of politically correct, liberal, environmentally-friendliness being bombarded on us constantly. And sometimes in my battle against the liberal darkness I overcompensate. I exaggerate.

3] I wonder if Barack Obama got a black dog because Obama’s into black power. I wonder if Obama particularly wanted the First Dog to be a minority of the ebony persuasion. I mean, dogs come in lots of colors. He could have gotten a brown dog. Or a white dog. Why did he get a black one? Thoughts like these, thoughts about the signifigance of the President's dog selection, are small, but "They do have meaning. They're strong as rocks." (from the poem Today by Frank O'Hara)

Or maybe the President and the President’s dog both being black is a coincidence. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Whether there is any meaning to be found in the colorful similarity of Bo's fur and Obama's skin, I don't know. But I thought it was funny to point it out. And it might be racist to point it out, too, but I’m not sure how. Pointing it out feels wrong somehow, but I don’t know why.

Moving on…

I’m scared that these letters will come back to haunt me someday if I run for political office. I’m worried that these letters will be put in some special database for the enemies of the President. I might be put on some government watch list…

oh well.

I live dangerously!

I haven’t any gotten responses back yet. I thought the responses came quicker last time. Maybe I got put on a “crazy” list, or maybe they stopped reading my letters after they sensed that they weren’t all genuine. Or maybe there's a five letters-per-week limit I didn't know about.

And maybe those black cars with the tinted windows driving up and down my street right now are SECRET SNEAKY PEOPLE FROM THE GOVERNMENT COMING TO TAKE MY GUNS! Oh, but I forgot. I don’t actually have guns. See how I get carried away in my blog alter-ego? It really is bad. In real life, I really am funny and compassionate and friendly.

And I bet people who briefly meet me think that I’m a liberal. Just look at the facts:

I teach at a public middle school.
I have shaggy unkempt hair.
I ride a bicycle to work.
I’m under 30.
I like Bob Marley and Bob Dylan.
I majored in drama and English at college.
I wear glasses with thick black rims.
I listen to an iPod frequently
I look like a Jew.

See, don’t all those things point to me being a liberal?

Well I’m not! I’m a conservative! Darn tootin!


And I am also a cowboy!!!

So I’ve decided that the best way to get politically active is not to whine about politics on Telemoonfa Time, or even write letters to the President, but I need to start smaller and get involved in politics on a more local level.

My next idea is to create an anti-incorporation flier and distribute it around my neighborhood. See, I live in San Tan Valley, Arizona, which I like to call a suburb of a suburb of a suburb of Phoenix. It’s east of Queen Creek and south of Apache Junction. This November we’ll most likely vote on whether or not we want to become a city. I’m going to vote no, and I think you should too. (If you live in the area and are eligible to vote, of course.)

I’ll talk more about why San Tan Valley should not incorporate later. But for now, have a nice day, and when I get responses to those letters I sent to the White House, I’ll let you know.